A Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texas engineer
are all working together one day and they come across a lantern.

A Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you one wish, which is
three wishes in total." says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, and my son will also farm. I
want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

POOOOFF!
With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada
was forever fertile for farming.

Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Australians can come into our precious state."

POOOFF!
Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a
huge wall around those countries.

The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about
this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."

The Texan sits down, cracks a Lone Star beer, smiles and says,
"Fill it with water"........

OORAH!

CHEERS TO THAT

Things A True
Southerner Knows...



The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

What general direction cattywumpus is.

That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!

A good dog is worth its weight in gold.

Real gravy don't come from the store.

The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.

When "by and by" is.

How to handle their "pot likker".

The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

Never to go snipe hunting twice.

At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.

Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

Very good!
Out of curiosity, kaspyv, what are the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash?
Please enlighten an ignorant Brit

GOOD ONE