What cant think of your night you had somewhere ,,lol,,

As I sit here today on Feb 28, thinking on how the world can change,,as
we see the war of our own people and family members go over sea's,to
fight for the rights we have here for freedom and peace.We need to put
our trust in each other here,,Blood is Blood..and who says that blood is
thicker then water,((BS))..im sorry but in all water can be thicker then
blood by saying that we all have friends and family doing the same over
there fighting the war,,so why in the hell do we fight here with each
other,,we need to be looking at the next person beside us and just give
a smile,instead of a frown,give a hand shack or even just a tip of a
hat,,it makes the next persons day better,,our Troops dont need to come
back here to see the friends and familys at war with each other,,and we
dont need to have anymore hate towards each other as well, even tho you
dont know the person next to you in the store,or down the block,so
what,just think ones day could be better if we just make that chance and
just try to help out our Country problems by not hating the next
person,,no matter what they look like, no matter what they done, or who
they are,, we all have the same Blood,,and theres more blood over sea's
being spilled over the grounds that we dont walk on,,but yet we see the
blood here as well with each other ,,STOP THE WAR HERE AND WE STOP THE
WAR THERE,,,just the thought's of my mind today,,I like to share,,to
some it mite not make since,,but to most it will if you feel your heart
take the pain of our war with each other....Love to all

I like to say I had this sent to me,,and i wanted to share it with all
here,,my friend sent this to me,,and it hit home to heart with me,,and I
hope to yall as well,,,Love to all here.....Yours Truly THOMAS

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
Had no army, yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us.
If you believe in God and in Jesus Christ His Son..send this to all on
your
Buddy list..if not just ignore..In the Bible, Jesus says..."If you deny
me
Before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven

What just one redneck reader,,lol,,well damn next time ill write about a
list for Redneck wanta B's..lol..I love to poke fun at all,,and its like
one said,,if you cant have fun,,then your not living the life you
have,,Love to all here...Your friend THOMAS

Cars cars Cars.....

Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail,
only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of
them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is
asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University,
and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of
the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and
release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I
am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of
justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch
and again, nothing happens.

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her
forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the
University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in
Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna
electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

PADOW,,hell my forehead,,NOT,,lol

Sorry one tomany posted,,never happen again,,,I feel aaaaa
DUMB,,,lol,,,,Love to all here ....

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had told their
new wives what their household duties were to be.

The first man had married a woman from Tennessee. He bragged that he had
told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He
said it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean
house and the dishes were done.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and
the cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next
day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes
were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Long Island. He boasted that he told
her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn
mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said
the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see
anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he
could see a little out of his left eye just enough to fix himself a bite
to eat, load the dishwasher, find a cleaning lady, and telephone a
landscaper.

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman,
with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him
with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do
about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy
was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the
teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop
and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell
your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last
free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told his mother.

The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I
have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16
years and watch the expression on his face!"

1. Go to O'Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it
back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil
to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil
drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

29. Begin a cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss and complain.

32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands

39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
step 23.

40. Test drive car

41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.

42. Car gets impounded.

43. Make bail; get car from impound yard.

Money Spent:

$50 parts

$12 beer

$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!

$1000 Bail

$200 Impound and towing fee

Total: $1337

well are you,,lol,,im not,,,,,lol,,,,

lol

im glad I can make everyone here smile for the day of gloom is gone
now,,and your smile will brighten your day,,and someone else will enjoy
there day as well,,,,,,Love to all here

But once again ,,so funny,,and true,,,,,

But yet so true,,lol,,and yet even a better laugh....Love to all here
,,,,Thomas

A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It
lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office
had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps a MG
convertible.

That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar
XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored
and she fell in love with it's gorgeous red paint job. An empty check
stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying
her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind,
music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?

At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly
coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after
a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily
she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub
and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.

"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?"
"Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."

"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was
purring like a cat again.

"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?" "Simple really, just
crap in the carburetor," he replied.

Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK... How many times a week do I have to
do that?"

One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even
though the beach was a non-nude beach.

But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he
doesn't care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to
cover his privates just in case.

Soon comes a little girl that asks "Sir, what's under the newspaper?"

The man replies with "it's a birdy and never ever touch it."

He soon falls asleep.

Later on when he wakes up, he's in the hospital feeling immense pain
around his private area. The doctors ask what happened and all he could
remember was the girl at the beach.

Later on the cops arrive at her house asking what she had done. She said
"well I was playing with the birdy but then it spit this white stuff at
me. I got really mad. So I broke it's neck, stepped on it's eggs, and
burned it's nest."

It was the first day of Third Grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As
a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students
to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with
just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did
extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any
mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well
he had done. His Dad nodded and told him, "That's because you are from
Alabama, Son." The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the
students to recite the alphabet. It's Grade Three, so most could make it
half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but
Little Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That
evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his
new school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "That's because you
are from Alabama, Son." The next day, after Physical Education, the boys
were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in
his grade, he seemed overly "well-endowed". This confused him. That
night he told his dad, "Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is
ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from Alabama?" he
asked. "No, Son," explained his Dad, "That's because you're 18."