There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd
thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed
five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do
with him.
Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head
nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a
mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is
obviously half nuts."

lol,,hell I need to write that on my walls,,well then I get no azz,,let
me think on that first,,lol

and they say I cant make yall laugh,,,,**** let just fight,,and then see
who laughs last,,lol,,oh hold on got to find my wewe,,oh there it
is.......ok come on now got a lil one now I want to fight about dumb
jokes please,,lol,,lmao

Thanks bro,,yours as well,,lil dddiicckk dudes got to fight all the time
to stay on top,,hell they cant seem to stay on top of a woman,,more less
think of being on top,,lol

Ok for one,,yes women are smarter then men,,and Chris you just showed
that ,,by falling into the dumb trap,,see when you have to fight over
one damn thing like a joke,,then you need to see where your IQ
stands,,im sorry dude,,but in all you just made us guys look really
bad,,by showing the one track mind,,that most men have,,as what im
saying,,we think of fighting,,and drinking,,eatting,,having sex,,well as
the woman can think of the same ****,,and make us guys so damn craved by
how they say and do stuff,,like drinking,,eatting,,fighting,,having
sex,,woman can think on doing them,,and think on how to make it better
while doing it,,lol,,you dude,,just made a azz out of your self,,me and
most men in this world,,hope you feel better ,,damn short ddiicckk guys
got to screw it up for us normal guys,,,,,lol,,love to all here

Thank you sweetz,,,it is kinda cold here in MICHIGAN,,lmao,,so I guess
im cool,,,lol,,love to all here

FOOOOOOOOOOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Thanks LOST,,I really hope yall can get more laughs out of me,,,,love to
all here,,and keep peace over the damn jokes please....

people drop it damn,,,,lazy hes a kid that cant seem to keep a joke as
is,,and chris,,your thinking hes wrong,,no ones wrong on what they what
to say or think,,stop busting his damn balls,,at least he can use
his,,,,,,

I try,,lol,,but theres no way to tame a woman,,hell we need women more
on the untamed side,,hell I needs me a freak,,,,lol,,lmao,,love to all
here

Damn im glad yall dont fight over my stuff,,this is a dumb thing to
fight about,,and a joke is a joke,,so big boy chill ,,this is for
laughs,,not fights,,and if your mind thinks inside the box,,the take off
the head phones-face mic what ever,,and see that people in this world
have different thoughts on jokes,,dont mean you have to start crap to
rune the next one,,DDDAAAAMMMNNNN,,

There was a tour bus in Egypt that stopped in the middle of a town
square.

The tourists are all shopping at the little stands surrounding the
square.

One tourist looks at his watch, but it is broken, so he leans over to a
local who is squatted down next to his camel. "What time is it, sir?"

The local reaches out and softly cups the camel's genitals in his hand,
and raises them up and down.

"It's about 2:00", he says.

The tourist can't believe what he just saw.

He runs back to the bus, and sure enough, it is 2:00. He tells a few of
the fellow tourists his story,

"The man can tell the time by the weight of the camel's genitals!"

One of the doubting tourists walks back to the local and asks him the
time, the same thing happens!! It is 2:05.p.m.

He runs back to tell the story. Finally, the bus driver wants to know
how it is done.

He walks over and asks the local how he knows the time from the camel's
genitals.

The local says "Sit down here and grab the camel's genitals". "Now, lift
them up in the air.

Now, look underneath them to the other side of the courtyard, where that
clock is hanging on the wall."

A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in
thegarden together.

As the wife was bending over pulling weeds the husband said, "Hey honey,
you are getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it's as big as the
gas grill now."

The husband feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick,
measured the grill and then measured his wife's butt.

"Yep," he said, "Just what I thought, just about the same size."

The wife got very incensed and decided to let him do the gardening
alone. She went inside and didn't speak to her husband the rest of the
day.

That evening when they went to bed, the husband cuddled up to his wife
and said, "How about it, hon? How about a little lovemaking?"

The wife rolled over and turned her back to him, giving him the cold
shoulder. "What's the matter?" he asked.

To which she replied, "You don't think I'm going to fire up this big gas
grill for one little weenie, do you?"

I said Runn..lol

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so
may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to
admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset
course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this
reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first
time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover
someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at tall
times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be
temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in
this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of
play when this is the case.

12. The course owners is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush
around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and
approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before
attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners
request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play
the same hole several times in one match.

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What
are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she
never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

as I was sitting here I was thinking on if I did get married
again,,would this be a place to do it at,,and ladys this is more for you
to answer,,cause really if I do find a new heart then I would like to be
married with her knowing that this is to be her day,,check out the web
link,,and give a reply please,,cause im going to plain now to have what
she should have to be like my QUEEN....love to all here...Thomas..oh the
link,,,,
http://capetown.cityguidesa.com/content.jsp;jsessionid=2129552A2646A10564F5972848878A2A?category=21&type=region&region=3

These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never
have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they
decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never
look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader`s store
and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year."
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one`s supplies he
laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys asked "What`s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where
you`re going there are no women and you might need this." They said, "No
way! We`ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the
boards with you, and if you don`t use them I`ll refund your money next
year. "Okay," they said and left. The next year this guy came into the
trader`s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one
year." The trader said "Weren`t you in here last year with a partner?"
"Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I killed him"
said the guy. Shocked, the trader asks "Why?" To which the guy replies,
"I caught him in bed with my board!"

Love to all here thanks for reading,,,,,,,,

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at
least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail
them by saying, "I know the whole truth".
The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is
greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth."
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your
father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and
greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to
your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees
the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give
your father a big hug."