There are pages after pages of written tips and tricks to finding your perfect match.

"Do this - Don't do that"

Loneliness and desperation often causes people to seek out any 'golden rule' or 'magic pill' as a sure fix to finally find that perfect match.

The way I see it, nobody on this planet can possibly know exactly what you want or need in a person except you.
No one is more qualified to know you than you.

If you go out looking for a date or a special someone you are attempting to make an expectation a reality but reality doesn't work that way.

You can go down a checklist and tick all the boxes and still remain lonely and frustrated.

Just because someone somewhere found someone using a method doesn't mean you will by using that same method.

Using dating advice sets you up for negative outcomes which can affect your peace of mind, self-esteem, financial and emotional security, friendships and might even lead to depression.

You have to keep it simple.
You have to be open to new possibilities.
You have to pay attention to other people.

Living your life, doing what you would normally do and not focusing on every potential date is how reality actually works.
You just be yourself but be attentive to your surroundings.

When people are attracted to one another they give off signals which may or may not be conscious actions.
Many times, people who are attracted to one another, who may be perfectly matched...may not be aware of that attraction because it is subtle and not specifically covered in that dating advice column you might be reading or that dating video you like to watch.

You may not realize it but every relationship (outside family) starts with some type of attraction. Even platonic relationships.

Sometimes we set our sights too high.
Sometimes we tell ourselves we are not worthy.
Sometimes we hide from the world behind distractions of our own making.

Chances are you probably go to the same stores.
You probably get fuel at the same gas stations.
You probably drive a set route, walk the same path and entertain yourself the same way.

Its almost certain someone has noticed you.
They probably shop the same stores, fuel up at the same stations and walk the same paths.
They might have noticed you.
You might have noticed them.
The fact you haven't connected could be something as simple as a smile.
You may be so preoccupied with something else you never even look to see if they are noticing you.
So, you stay alone.
You keep working the 'plan'.
(A 'plan' which isn't really working)

Perhaps you are popular online?
Lots of friends.
Virtual dating.
Phone calls.
Video chats.
BUT...
Are you still longing for that special person in your life?
Are you still alone with life?

Here's some advice...take it or don't.

Live your life.
Be you.
Do what you do.
Be how you are.
Stop expecting that fantasy.
Seek out and recognize the reality.
And most of all...
If you find someone checking you out...SMILE.

I just found out today that The Pope's Exorcist (2023) is getting a sequel also starring Russel Crowe
Supposedly based on an actual person.

The trick is to find someone you can align with.

If you find that someone they may be perfect for you if...

1. You truly know yourself.
2. They were actually honest (good luck with that) in their profile and the courting.

The issue isn't their perfection.
The issue is without actually meeting them and spending unscripted time with them you will never know.

Viewing the searches is NOT meeting them.
Messaging with them is NOT meeting them.
Video chatting is NOT meeting them.
Phone conversations is NOT meeting them.

Only MEETING them in person is meeting them.

Back in my younger days (college) I participated in some sensory deprivation experiment some of the other students did. They had a dep-tank and I got in a few times both sober, intoxicated and after using LSD.
Intoxicated I pretty much just fell asleep.
On LSD my joys, fears and imagination ran wild. I didn't really want to come out so they got me out.

Sober and after a good night of sleep I actually delved into an experience which was quite interesting.
I certainly had visions (audio, visual and physical) which allowed me to train my brain.
The physical hallucinations were the most unexpected, both to myself and when I described them to the others.
It was difficult to put into words and now, with only memory to call upon, still difficult.
I felt existence. There's no other way I can put it.
I felt pressure waves, a spinning sensation and even what I once described as thoughts from others hitting me.

Since those experiments I have always had a sense of what people were going to say before they say it. Not verbatim but in the meaning they convey.
I have a knack for understanding the actions people take when it concerns me...before they do it.
Animals are calm around me. I feel storms before they happen (perhaps why I like them so much).

Later in life I died in a car accident, revived by the paramedics. What I remember is utter peace, black and deep, which was getting deeper and deeper.
Then, all of a sudden, I was hit by pain and noise.
Since them I have not been afraid of death.
I'm not looking for it but when it comes I understand what will happen.

My disability caused me to focus on reality full time. I no longer get caught up in religion, power, expectations or fantasies. Reality has show they are delusional thinking.
Reality doesn't care, it just is.

This is why I doubt any claim which calls for belief. If reality shows to prove ghosts, aliens, shadow beings and all the other stuff people come up with, I will accept it.
The problem is...None of it, anywhere has ever been proven to be an undeniable reality.

Reality does prove certain things tho.
Mass, gravity, time and motion is all reality.

A shadow being would also be locked to the same realities as me. Same with ghosts.

If a spirit stays on the floor/ground and can stand still it is obeying the reality of mass, gravity, motion and time.
If it is free floating or can move thru objects it can't be. To maintain its position while the Earth is spinning and moving in space it must have mass.
If it has mass enough to stay at a location, it can't pass thru objects like walls or tables or you. See what holds us to the surface of the planet is gravity, which works because we have mass and the planet has mass.

A spirit would just float off (or thru) the planet as it moves thru space.

To maintain its position on the planet, not only must it be moving a bit over 500 mph, it must also be moving sideways with the planet.
Earth spins, it moves around the Sun, the Sun moves up and down as it moves around the black hole at the center of the galaxy. The galaxy moves in orbit around the local group and the local group moves with the super-cluster of galaxies within the Universe.
Its all movement which a spirit would have to both calculate and maintain just so you can see it.
But, the planet never returns to the exact spot it was in after it moves from it.

Now, if the spirit or shadow being were say, from a nearby dimension, it might have mass in its own dimension and all you are seeing is a 'bleed thru' from its dimension. But, if it is a 'bleed thru' from another dimension you would also see artifacts from that dimension as well.
Again, there's no reality proving a populated alternate dimension. Oh sure, we think we can detect multiple dimensions but thinking is not reality either. BTW, if proof of an alternate dimension populated by beings were discovered, that would be huge news and everyone would know about it.

If yer a conspiracy minded individual, any belief can be 'covered up'.

Etsin,
All my life I tried to make reality fit my fantasy.
When it almost lined up, it was only because I was deluding myself.

My disability (as severe as it was) caused me to have to look at reality. It caused me to have to remove my delusions. Realizing reality doesn't care helped me over-come my inner turmoil and find equalibrium in my life.

Looking back, it was my disability that forced me to change. Since I like who I am now and like living as I do now, I wouldn't change a thing.

My life WAS a series of conflicts. Poor decisions and a rush to find the fantasy I built for myself caused me to have too much on my plate to manage it well.
It wasn't till I slowed WAAAY down, started seeing the reality around me and making decisions which actually work within that reality that I started to flourish.

So, no. I wouldn't want different DNA or a different past because how I am now is the product of my life. I like me!

Before you "Be" you were not.
After you "Be" you will always have "Been"

Poetrywriter,
Was the photo taken with a film camera or a digital camera or a phone camera?

The reason I ask is each type of image capture mentioned are known to have image artifacts which can transfer from one image to the next.

With film cameras, it is a chemical trace transfer and with digital cameras it is similar to monitor burn-in (the reason for screensavers).

It would be interesting to view all the prior photos taken with the same camera. Also, it would be good information to know if the camera was recently used in an area of high sunlight.

Additionally, what caused you to actually take that picture at that specific time with that specific subject?
Did you 'sense' something? Catch a glimpse of something? Were you looking for something and snapped the pic or was it an accidental capture you later 'found' on your camera?

Where are you? Is it a school, a hospital, an office building? What floor was it? That corridor looks empty and it appears all the room doors are wide open which open into the corridor and not into the rooms.

The figure appears to be wearing a suit. Does the history of that place justify someone wearing a suit?

I once snapped a series of pictures of my dog.
She was sleeping. When I viewed the pictures (taken with a digital camera) so I could print the best one, I noticed one pic which showed what looked like her aura. It was interesting because it wasn't a double exposure because only her body showed the image, not the table legs or her toy beside her (those were clear).
What it turned out to be is my frame rate and her breathing movement. The static items showed clear because they were not moving but she appeared to have an aura because she was moving.
If I can find that pic I'll post it. Its freaky to look at and the mind immediately insists its her aura but it is purely a reality fixed capture.

On the TV side of the house, I was a bit impressed at the quality of...

The Last of Us (2023)
8.80 Rating
60 min
Twenty years after modern civilization has been destroyed. Joel, a hardened survivor, is hired to smuggle Ellie, a 14-year-old girl, out of an oppressive quarantine zone. What starts as a small job soon becomes a brutal, heartbreaking journey, as they both must traverse the U.S. and depend on each other for survival.

Country: United States, Canada
Genre: Drama, Adventure, Action
Release: 2023
Creator: Craig Mazin, Neil Druckmann
Networks: HBO
Production: HBO, Naughty Dog, PlayStation Productions, Sony Pictures Television Studios, The Mighty Mint, Word Games
Cast: Pedro Pascal as Joel Miller, Bella Ramsey as Ellie Williams, Gabriel Luna

I also liked...

The Ark (2023)

4.90 Rating (My rating is at least a 5.5)
45 min
100 years in the future, planetary colonization missions have begun as a necessity to help secure the survival of the human race. The first of these missions on a spacecraft known as Ark One encounters a catastrophic event causing massive destruction and loss of life. With more than a year left to go before reaching their target planet, a lack of life-sustaining supplies and loss of leadership, the remaining crew must become the best versions of themselves to stay on course and survive.

Country: United States
Genre: Drama, Sci-Fi
Release: 2023
Creator: Dean Devlin
Networks: Syfy
Production: Balkanic Media, Electric Entertainment, PFI Studios
Cast: Stacey Read as Alicia Nevins, Christina Wolfe as Cat Brandice, Pavle Jerinić as Lt. Felix Strickland, Shalini Peiris as Dr. Sanjivni Kabir,
Christie Burke, Richard Fleeshman, Tijana Upčev, Reece Ritchie, Ryan Adams

So do I.
I read the internet.

I've learned quite a bit from the internet.
I know of many websites which feature online books, audiobooks, flash comics and hard to find texts.
I've read college libraries, 'think tank' summaries and science papers.

Its a whole planet's worth of knowedge free for the taking.
Wanna know about Mars? - ESA or NASA
Wanna know about negative mass tacyons - google scholar.
Wanna read old books - sacred texts
Wanna listen to one of the greats - Audiobooks.com
Wanna read anything...google will give you results if you query the right search words

I used to have a moderate scifi & fantasy book collection. I was a science fiction book club member for years.
I scanned them and gave the hard copies away.
Now, 25 years later, I have hundreds of books, way more than could fit on bookshelves.
Thing is, now that I'm old and my body has given up on me...I listen to books more than reading them.
Do I miss the paper...Not One Bit.

I can't write. Not enough patience.
I do have a lot of story ideas but I always...always get hung up on the details.
If you need a setting or detailed description of a planet or space station, I'll blow yer socks off.
Just don't try to get me to do human interaction.
Since I find humans an oddity, nothing I would write would work for ANY story.

Considering the fact I am just the strangest mf you could ever meet. I'd rather have gelato.

I don't really need to change anything...I'm comfortable as I am.

I 'm wondering the sanity of anyone who fantasizes about changing their current condition.
But, hey...To each their own...

When you reach my age, if you ever do, you might understand what I'm 'sayin'.

Try to realize as you age, things fall apart.
That tummy you might be so proud of will turn into a belly. This biceps and pecks, well, sorry, they go bye bye as well.

Eventually, a jar of pickles will be a challenge.
But...don't fret because unless you have some type of degenerative brain disease, you will gain wisdom of life, which will only be important if the ones you are advising are receptive or not.

BUT... to stay on topic....
...The scar over my left eye...
When I was 4 yo I saw my dad shaving.
He used a straight razor.
After he left for work and mom was down stairs, I was looking in the bathroom mirror and saw the only 'hair' I could shave.
I commenced to cut my eyebrow from my face.
It hurt, so I stopped.

All my life (especially in school) I tried to hide that scar. I would 'color it in' (using a black ink pen) and hope nobody noticed.
Luckily for me, my ruse was effective, for the most part.
Now that I am older and not out to 'impress; anyone, it seems silly.
But...If there is anything I would have liked to change it would be that scar. It directly affected my young self-esteem.

The choices we make have consequences.
Sometimes the consequences are good.
Sometimes the consequences are bad.

Its important to make choices which result in good consequences.
How the hell do we do that?
We use wisdom.

There are choices we make which only concern us.
There are choices we make which affect others.

When you make proper choices, it really doesn't matter.
Its a matter of perception and empathy.
Its a matter of realizing personal control and the acceptance of the fact, in your life, the only constance is you.

You decide to take that next fix, drink, violence or whatever. You decide to do what you do which affects those you love. And...yourself (who you love most) unless you are deluded.
See...You must love yourself because everything you do is an attempt to find something which appeals to yourself.

There is no single person who has experienced exactly what you have during your existence. Except...YOU.

So, with all your knowledge of life, the wisdom you have gained, the understanding you know...you're letting a simple compulsion control you?

YES, its pathetic as hell!
Who, besides you, Can make proper choices for you!
I know I can't. Its not my place to do that, I have my own life,
That task is totally up to you.

Every moment in everyday you are faced with decisions Many are not life critical. But some directly affect you or those around you.
Your "job" is to determine how your decisions in life will affect you AND those around you.

In life, we are faced with many sickness.
The sickness of "Alcoholism".
The sickness of "Drug Addiction".
The sickness of "Incest'.
The sickness of Personality Abuse".
The sickness of "Ego".

I call Bullcrap!

Life is a series of decisions.
Decisions we personally make one moment to the next.

We live moment to moment.
We control those moment with the decisions we make, in the moment.
Who, if anyone is responsible for those decisions?
You are.

Its your life, you are in control of your life, right?

So why, pray tell, would you try to justify those decisions you make which you know are wrong?
Is it really a sickness or are you using the 'sickness defense", as a scapegoat to owning your own poor decisions?

Let's think of your next victim, cause really that's who they are. Knowing that you are able to inflict such damage upon someone. isn't it a sense of premeditated misery?

But hey, all is not lost.
You must look and see yourself with pure honesty.
You must really want to change your ways.
You must live day to day in the harmony you claim.

No, there are not 12 steps. Screw all that garbage.
The thing you really need is that inner conviction to change and the strength to see it thorough.

It doesn't matter what your sponsor sees or thinks.
It doesn't matter what your loved ones see or think.
You gotta know it in yourself.
Because you can lie to your loved ones and certainly to your sponsor but you can't really lie to yourself.

I can think of more than 20 comical replies to this thread.
Sure, there are many ways to minimize the subject.
But, i don't give a damn.
I posted this because some people really do want to break out from their self-established prisons.

Its all about self-honesty and realization of ones action.
No matter what...You ARE responsible for the actions you take.

Ghosted (2023)

5.80 Rating
116 min
Cole falls head over heels for enigmatic Sadie, but then makes the shocking discovery that she's a secret agent.
Before they can decide on a second date, Cole and Sadie are swept away on an international adventure to save the world.

Country: United States
Genre: Comedy, Adventure, Action
Release: 2023
Director: Dexter Fletcher
Production: Apple Original Films, Skydance Media, Studio Concierge
Cast: Chris Evans, Ana De Armas, Adrien Brody, Mike Moh, Tate Donovan


The Tank (2023)

5.30 Rating
100 min
After mysteriously inheriting an abandoned coastal property, Ben and his family accidentally
unleash an ancient creature that terrorized the entire region for generations.

Country: New Zealand
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Release: 2023
Director: Scott Walker
Production: General Film Corporation, Ajax Pictures, Happy Dog Entertainment
Cast: Jack Barry, Matt Whelan, Ascia Maybury, Luciane Buchanan, Jaya Beach-Robertson, Mark Mitchinson, Graham Vincent

I gots one fer ya.

When I was younger I worked crazy hours. Most of the time I was seriously sleep deprived.

I used to see shadow creatures in the dark. Not really a form but a shadowy presence. Sometimes multiple ones at the same time.

Not malevolent or benevolent more like critters.
Sometimes I would sense them on the sofa with me while watching movies or TV shows. Sometimes I would catch a flash on the wall or inching up a table leg.

What I found out was:
Sleep deprivation plus flashes of light from the TV or traffic outside cause the peripheral vision to manifest figments in the fluid of the eye's vitreous chamber which contacts the optic nerve endings within it. This produces moving shadows on the retina which the optic nerve picks up as an image.
Cured by watching TV at night with a light on.

As a test, Just a few weeks ago I watched a movie at night without the light and the shadow creatures again manifested. Manifested exactly the same...I turned on the TV light and they went away.

I could convince myself they are a trans-dimensional invasion. Except, I choose the scientific explanation as the reality.

I remember an episode of Twilight Zone or one of those other anthology shows which had a segment where trans-dimension creatures fed on us and were the reason for cancer. It was entertaining but that did cross my mind back when I was first noticing them.

The thing is, there are a lot of things in this world humans don't understand. There are still a lot of places on the planet where humans don't inhabit. There are a lot of species which exist but we know nothing of them.

I choose to accept the evidence. No evidence, no banana. You can tell me anything but I will only accept it if there is actual scientific evidence which backs it up. I'm no longer a fearful person.
A youtube video us not evidence.
A testimonial is not evidence.
A few 'authorities' are not evidence.
Only evidence can convince a non-believer and most of these claims have no actual scientific evidence.

No they're not.
They're only confusing to you because you are young and haven't spent enough time with women who are not family or longtime friends.

Plus, if you are gathering an assessment from what you encounter on dating sites, you are forgetting one important detail.
You are making assumptions based on a limited exposure stereotype which you created.

Try looking at each woman individually. Try understanding just one woman who interests you.
Pay attention to what she says and does.
Find the one who matches you and is interested in you in return.
Then act on it.

I'm not single, not looking either.

I keep this profile because I have to have it to be on the forums.
My gf has no problem with this.
She still has her profile too.
But then, we are both rational adults.

I think you should start a actual relationship with her before you can figure out what the issue is.

Online correspondence is NOT an actual relationship. It is virtual.

Just because you are on the same dating site as her should be irrelevant.
Its narcissistic behavior.
Do you really want to start an intimate relationship with a narcissist?

To "handle it" I suggest you physically meet and start the relationship or make a wiser choice and move on to the next but keep her as a pen-pal if she makes you feel good.

Removing your profile would be silly at this time.
I'd keep the profile and date her.
Then if it works out between y'all, you may want to delete it, or don't. Many people just leave and don't come back when they find someone. That way, if it ends up NOT working, you can just revive the profile and continue looking.

Roman,
Cheating breaks trust and puts a relationship in turmoil. It usually involves lying to someone you should be trusting.
Don't Do It.

If you were wrong about the choice you made, break it off BEFORE you cheat but break it off gently and respectfully.

If you still care about her and how she feels, Don't Do It.

If you are feeling sexually deprived, talk honestly and intimately with her about it before you roam.

Trying to justify cheating on a dating site is wrong in so many ways.

If you have been cheated on, look at your relationship from her point of view and see if you can honestly say to yourself..."I deserved it".
Then have some honest communication with her (remembering to let her talk as well) to see if there is anything worth saving.

If you are met with hostility or lies you may want to move on and call it a learning experience. But...If you do break it off, break it off completely.

Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a cheater, the trust is broken even if it never happens again.

You can work on the trust issues but if she cheated, she has already shown you she is not trustworthy.

Without two-way honest communication you are wasting your time.

Take back the power over you that you have surrendered to her under false pretenses.

It indicates a self-esteem issue rooted in jealousy.
Jealousy is rooted in the fear of losing someone you love.
Perhaps she was hurt badly in the past?
Maybe you should talk honestly with her about it and you might be able to figure out why she asks you to abandon your profile so soon. Just remember the honesty has to be both ways.

Try not to make it about your profile or you.
See if she might have an understandable reason for being so protective, so early in the relationship.

In a personality consideration, are you sure you want someone so demanding and controlling so early in the relationship? Time tends to expose personality faults and they usually compound to extremes the longer you ignore or dismiss them.

Honest communication is very important in building a relationship but so is the ability to recognize personality issues.