Dang, I gotta get to bed....

Found out today I can move into my new apartment in a couple of weeks...dc you and Fred up for it???!!.

Jus give a hollar darlin'

HEY YA'LL IT FRIDAY NIGHT !!!!!!


A guy walks into a bar and sits down.

The bartender asks, "What'll it be?"

The guy responds, "Double Scotch."

The bartender gives him a double scotch and the guy swallows it in one gulp and then proceeds to look into his shirt pocket.

The guy looks back up and says, with a look of pure discussed, "Another double please!"

The bartender pours another for the man.

Once again the man swallows it in one gulp and proceeds to look into his shirt pocket, and once again he looks back up and says, with a look of pure discussed, "Another double please!"

The bartender pours another for the man.

By the fifth round with the exact same reaction from the man each time the bartender finally asks, "Hey buddy, I will fill you shot glass all night long, but you have to tell me, What is in your pocket?"

The guy looks up at the bartender and politely says, "It's a picture of my wife. I am just waiting for her to look pretty so I can go home."

Thanks darlin..ya know I'll make it up to ya and Fred.....

ya soooooo good ta me hun

I grew up on a farm and we had this rooster who was a total sex addict and he humped all the hens until they no longer had any feathers. This was a good thing because when we killed them for roasting, we didn't have to pluck the feathers. But soon there were no hens left and all we had was one horny rooster.

One day I saw the rooster laying out in the sun, and he looked like he was dead. I watched carefully and I was about to go check on him when a small turkey buzzard landed next to him for a meal.

The rooster suddenly hopped up and screwed the turkey buzzard. I looked around the yard and there were three other turkey buzzards, and they were trying to fly off but they too had been plucked of all their feathers.

That was one horny rooster alright.

True story.

ROFLMAO

Give Fred a full tank and big fat smile and you...a real sweet memory.........

DON'T 4 get ta check his DIPSTICK

G'nite ya'll

Morning,is there any coffee made?

DAMN gotta get some waistresse in here!

sorry I missed ya snow

A Blonde Buying Curtains ...

A Blonde goes to Wal-Mart to buy curtains. She tells the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.

'The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

'Seventeen inches?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small. What room are they for?'

The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room. They are for my new computer mo nitor.

'The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains!'

The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo ... I've got Windoooooows.......

((((dc))))

A beautiful morning this morning...

So who is needing coffee???...

((((((sprite))))))

Snow was wantin' coffee this morn, but I wont here.

Gotta alot of stuff ta do 'round house 2day & won' be on alot.

Is this where the party is, I need to kick up my heels

Come on in Bad , enjoy..... always open mike time here.

HAVE FUNNNNNNN

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach.

He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said ,"No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said ,"No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said, "Have you ever been f*#ked?"

The fellow said, "No."

She said, "You will be when the tide comes in."

HEY this is funny ...... I don't care who ya are



Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.

Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden.

They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"Sex!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O. K.

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied.. "Parkinson's"