Mornin' ((((((((catch))))))))

HOW DO YOU GET INTO HEAVEN?

I was testing the children in my Newfoundland Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven.

I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage Sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?'

Again, the answer was, 'NO!' By now I was starting to smile.

Hey, this was fun!

'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, 'NO!' I was just bursting with pride for them.

Well, I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'

A six-year-old boy shouted out, 'YOU GOTTA BE ' DEAD!

well gotta go do the work thing

see ya'll 2night

so much for good service then *rolls eyes and sighs*

((((dc))))) For ya when ya get here...

Headed to bed.....sweet dreams when ya get there

(((((((bug))))))

for when ya wake up

RISE & SHINE

HOWDY YA'LL

jus' gettin in from work.

Man it was cccold in that damn place.

So who's up

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor.

The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use. One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane. The third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years.”

“I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,” said the patient.

After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did.

“It was easy,” the patient replied. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”

Glad to be drunk

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

The Slow Racehorse


The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.

He turned on the jockey.

"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"

"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

nite ya'll

hope i put a smile on your face & maybe a or 2

nite dc

Morning all

Hiya