It was visitors' day at the lunatic asylum. All the patients were standing out in the courtyard and singing, "Ave Maria", and singing it beautifully. Oddly, each of them was holding a red apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil.

A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and then approached the conductor. "I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard."

"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.

"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are they called?"

"In the beginning this was a big problem. One inmate wanted to call them the "Big Apple with Little Brown Seeds Singing Sons of Siam". But I said it was too long and, anyway, none of them were from Siam. Then, another thought "The Pencil Leads" was a good name but the others disagreed because they had no one to write to."

"Well," the visitor asked, "What name did they finally agree on?"

"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor. "They all agreed to call themselves"...are you ready for this?...

"THE MORON TAPANAPPLE CHOIR"

(((((((Dc)))))))))

Just doin life ya know...

Hi Isaac

((((((sprite))))))))

Where been HIDIN'

ya got another ,,,, thats shorter

Hi ((((((misty)))))

how ya doin'??

Nope only came w/one

Don't believe I know him

can you type with it

yep, but don't hit the keys too HARD , ..... might hurt a bit

Murphy's Laws of Work
-

No one gets sick on Wednesdays.

- When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

- The longer the title, the less important the job.

- Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

- An "acceptable" level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

- Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

- All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.

- Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.

Thought ya'd catch that

WORDS TO LIVE BY


Once was a liitle bird & his friends all singing & playing in the sunshine. Now all of them new that winter was comming soon. One fall morning they all got up & decided it was time for the long flight south. All except the 1 little bird who said ya'll go on I'll catch up. For it is still so beautiful here & the sun is shinning & it's still warm. His friend flew off & left him behind. Well the little bird hung out another day. The days turned into weeks & it got colder everyday. The little bird said it is to cold I will go tomorrow & huddled in his nest. The next morning it was bitter cold & rain had set in. He said I must go now or I will surely freeze to death here, so he flew off wishing he had gone with his friends. As he was flying in the cold rain ice began forming on his wings & it was to heavey for him to keep flight & he fell into a barnyard. Along came a horse & sh^* on him.... He said what a terrible way to die, laying here in the big pile of sh*%.... Then a a funny thing happened he noticed it was warming & melted the ice & brought back life in him.... He was so happy he began to sing..... Along came the barnyard cat who heard the singing & uncovered the little bird & ate him............... Moral of the story is ....... Everyone who sh^%# on you is not your enemie & everyone that takes sh#% off of you is not your friend.... & if your warm & happy even in a big pile of sh$* ..keep your damn mouth SHUT.......


Hey isaac good ta see ya back, man

They don't call me catch for nuttin

Country Politics

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie

GOOD 1 LACE

What's in a name?

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him.

"Hi.... My name is Carmen", she told him.

"That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, 'cars and men'."

"What's your name?" she asked.

He said, "B. J. Titsenbeer".