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| Topic: The "3 day" rule... | |
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A couple of quotes - “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” - Henry David Thoreau Words I live by, to me he was saying most of us hide our feelings in fear of exposing ourselves. “Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” — Rudyard Kipling Another good one, fear is the usual suspect with anger or misunderstanding, communication is key, don't be afraid to say you're afraid.. Those aside - In my opinion the "3 day rule" is a silly, erroneous notion, given that the first steps in a relationship will likely depict the future "norms" within that relationship, should dampening your feelings be the correct way to start? I personally think not, of you strike a note with someone, show it! Be fearless! |
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Edited by
Dramatic Muffin
on
Thu 09/23/21 08:41 PM
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I agree, I think the 3-day rule is old-fashioned, and I'm not sure how many people actually follow it. If I have a great date, I would like to be called/texted the next day. I also enjoy if they text me a little while after the date to make sure I got home safely (which, IMO, is really just an excuse to resume talking and to make sure that both people are on the same page about the date's success). If someone enjoyed spending time with me, I like to know that. I don't want to play games and wait around. I also don't necessarily feel the need to wait for the other person to initiate the call/text.
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First time, I hear about the 3 day rule.
But to quote Homer Simpson: A lie always needs two people. One who tells the lie, and one who believes in it" 
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I don't know what the 3 day rule is supposed to be?
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Fri 09/24/21 04:23 AM
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I don't know what the 3 day rule is supposed to be? I didn't either, had to google it. It's a dating rule that says you should wait 3 days after the first date to call or text each other. The idea behind that is so you don't appear too eager and it gives you a chance to explore your feelings about the first date. Seems silly, if a man made me wait 3 days to hear from him after the first date, I probably wouldn't speak to him again. |
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I don't know what the 3 day rule is supposed to be? I didn't either, had to google it. It's a dating rule that says you should wait 3 days after the first date to call or text each other. The idea behind that is so you don't appear too eager and it gives you a chance to explore your feelings about the first date. Seems silly, if a man made me wait 3 days to hear from him after the first date, I probably wouldn't speak to him again. Thank you for enlightening me, haha. I think my reaction and feelings would be the same as yours. I don't like childish games, certainly not in matters of romance & love. |
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I don't know what the 3 day rule is supposed to be? I didn't either, had to google it. It's a dating rule that says you should wait 3 days after the first date to call or text each other. The idea behind that is so you don't appear too eager and it gives you a chance to explore your feelings about the first date. Seems silly, if a man made me wait 3 days to hear from him after the first date, I probably wouldn't speak to him again. Yep. Or I'd make him wait three days for my reply, telling him we are not compatible. |
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Never thought much of that rule ....
If I did set up a meet and greet , it was solely based on a mutual attraction or connection. If that went well , I would make the first date .... from there on out , it would just be a whirlwind romance or a full stop , depending on how that first date went .... at this age games are for the kids ... Having said that ....if the date turned out good , i' d drop her home and call or text her an hour later .... checking if she was ready to go for breakfast ha ha !!!! |
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Lmao... at my age if they wait three days to call me if the date went good it is a strike against them.. To me that is childish.. But then if the date went good I would actually expect the second date to be made prior to ending the first date..
Due to normally you will know if you want to get to know that person more on the first meet.. It don't take me three days to figure out if I want to get to know them a bit more.. 
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Well let me say this I dont let any grass to grow under my feet, yes i herd of the three day rule it's not for us working women, I don't CHEAK my messages every minute, sounds like someone sitting by the phone, Coldersky minus the halo, I'm out doing good deeds,
 🧸🧸❤❤
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Absolutely psyched by the responses here! It is, without question, a foolish way to start a relationship, effectively your first move forward is to play a game, to pretend you didn't enjoy the time with that person. While I get the "It's smart to think things over" aspect of it, this mentality immediately promotes the wrong sentiment toward someone you might be initiating a long term relationship with. Hiding your feelings (over insecurity), that's not how I want to start any relationship. |
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Like others here I have never heard of this rule .. so was curious about its origin . Most indicators are it was linked to a movie in the 1990’s called “ swingers” ... A group of young men at a bar encourage a recently single mate to ask a woman for her number . He emerges successfully lol and the discussion begins on how long he should wait before calling ..
http://youtu.be/DU3Pk6oDNRU the rules about calling are towards the end of the clip And this when he attempts to call her ... http://youtu.be/JV-m9bJTrh8 Obviously a very influential movie at the time 
Seems the 3 day rule was more about calling someone you hadn’t yet dated . Either way .. it is easy to understand the psychological barriers , self doubt and uncertainties some people endure when it comes to dating and attraction . Such barriers are often grounded in how people internalise experiences and feelings , rather than manipulative psychological mind games . Context is important . Not everyone is confident. What is clear to me .. if you like someone romantically it is important to be honest about feelings and intention , to show interest and work on building a connection rather than destroying it playing tactical games. Romantic interest can die in three seconds  
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Like others here I have never heard of this rule .. so was curious about its origin . Most indicators are it was linked to a movie in the 1990’s called “ swingers” ... A group of young men at a bar encourage a recently single mate to ask a woman for her number . He emerges successfully lol and the discussion begins on how long he should wait before calling .. http://youtu.be/DU3Pk6oDNRU the rules about calling are towards the end of the clip And this when he attempts to call her ... http://youtu.be/JV-m9bJTrh8 Obviously a very influential movie at the time
Seems the 3 day rule was more about calling someone you hadn’t yet dated . Either way .. it is easy to understand the psychological barriers , self doubt and uncertainties some people endure when it comes to dating and attraction . Such barriers are often grounded in how people internalise experiences and feelings , rather than manipulative psychological mind games . Context is important . Not everyone is confident. What is clear to me .. if you like someone romantically it is important to be honest about feelings and intention , to show interest and work on building a connection rather than destroying it playing tactical games. Romantic interest can die in three seconds
Excellent response, the EXACT intent of my topic! |
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Three days???
I heard it was three weeks. Now I know why I never get a second date. |
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Like others here I have never heard of this rule .. so was curious about its origin . Most indicators are it was linked to a movie in the 1990’s called “ swingers” ... A group of young men at a bar encourage a recently single mate to ask a woman for her number . He emerges successfully lol and the discussion begins on how long he should wait before calling .. http://youtu.be/DU3Pk6oDNRU the rules about calling are towards the end of the clip And this when he attempts to call her ... http://youtu.be/JV-m9bJTrh8 Obviously a very influential movie at the time
Seems the 3 day rule was more about calling someone you hadn’t yet dated . Either way .. it is easy to understand the psychological barriers , self doubt and uncertainties some people endure when it comes to dating and attraction . Such barriers are often grounded in how people internalise experiences and feelings , rather than manipulative psychological mind games . Context is important . Not everyone is confident. What is clear to me .. if you like someone romantically it is important to be honest about feelings and intention , to show interest and work on building a connection rather than destroying it playing tactical games. Romantic interest can die in three seconds
The 3 day rule was definitely invented before the '90s, and when you mention "swingers" I am definitely not thinking about dating, that is generally an orgy or couple swapping. Pretty sure the 3 day rule was mentioned in "About Last Night" in the '80s, they covered it pretty well, and I knew about it from other places too, so it has been around for a long time. But remember that was when you had to go home or find a pay phone and hope they had an answering machine or picked up. It was nothing like today with cell phones and texting. It was designed so they guys did not come off as too desperate, and generally woman would not make the first, or second move. Maybe we do need to slow down and think about something's sometimes, everything is so rushed nowadays. |
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Like others here I have never heard of this rule .. so was curious about its origin . Most indicators are it was linked to a movie in the 1990’s called “ swingers” ... A group of young men at a bar encourage a recently single mate to ask a woman for her number . He emerges successfully lol and the discussion begins on how long he should wait before calling .. http://youtu.be/DU3Pk6oDNRU the rules about calling are towards the end of the clip And this when he attempts to call her ... http://youtu.be/JV-m9bJTrh8 Obviously a very influential movie at the time
Seems the 3 day rule was more about calling someone you hadn’t yet dated . Either way .. it is easy to understand the psychological barriers , self doubt and uncertainties some people endure when it comes to dating and attraction . Such barriers are often grounded in how people internalise experiences and feelings , rather than manipulative psychological mind games . Context is important . Not everyone is confident. What is clear to me .. if you like someone romantically it is important to be honest about feelings and intention , to show interest and work on building a connection rather than destroying it playing tactical games. Romantic interest can die in three seconds
The 3 day rule was definitely invented before the '90s, and when you mention "swingers" I am definitely not thinking about dating, that is generally an orgy or couple swapping. Pretty sure the 3 day rule was mentioned in "About Last Night" in the '80s, they covered it pretty well, and I knew about it from other places too, so it has been around for a long time. But remember that was when you had to go home or find a pay phone and hope they had an answering machine or picked up. It was nothing like today with cell phones and texting. It was designed so they guys did not come off as too desperate, and generally woman would not make the first, or second move. Maybe we do need to slow down and think about something's sometimes, everything is so rushed nowadays. Totally agree dust ... technology was not as advanced and much slower decades ago . I doubt the three day rule is given much credit now .. at least by the younger generation . With an abundance of dating apps , social media and instant connectivity ...a slow response may in some situations leave the door open for rivals . Obviously personal beliefs about dating are also a factor . some focus on getting to know one person at a time , others polydate .. I made that word up lol
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3 day rule? maybe when I was 15, now there are no set rules
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I didn't either, had to google it. It's a dating rule that says you should wait 3 days after the first date to call or text each other. The idea behind that is so you don't appear too eager and it gives you a chance to explore your feelings about the first date.
Seems silly, if a man made me wait 3 days to hear from him after the first date, I probably wouldn't speak to him again. apparently a childish and erroneous believe, who says you cant have a happy ending because of eagerness after first date. it's just best to keep the momentum after first date and enjoy |
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First time, I hear about the 3 day rule. But to quote Homer Simpson: A lie always needs two people. One who tells the lie, and one who believes in it"
 
On another note, what do you think tomorrow's score will be? Reverse from last season's 4-1? |
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Well, I think if you like someone, it's better to tell instead of waiting for 3 days. Chemistry might be still good, wait too long probably another person feels that you might not interested and already cool down a bit. Just like people nowadays like to use Tinder, because it's fast...So no 3 days rule for me
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