Just curious, as I always am, hihi.

If you come across a person of your OWN gender -whether in real life or on tv- does that intimidate you or make you feel envious, maybe trying to outdo them in one way or another?
OR can you simply take in their beauty and appreciate it? Now this can be anything from a pretty/handsome face, a good body or both etc.

How do you handle this and can you?

I was at a restaurant one time in Danville, California
and the most beautiful girl was serving us, though
she looked mighty unhappy.

As we interacted I said to her, 'You are so beautiful and
it looks like it goes all the way through..' her eyes
widened and she began to cry..she quickly left the table
with our order.

I was most concerned I had made her cry and did not know why.
At the end of the meal she came up to me and said 'I just
wanted to thank you for your words, no one ever tells me that.'

From that moment on (50 years ago) when I see someone who moves
me like that I say something, when I might not have before..
mainly because it never occurs to us that those who are gifted
with looks can also be victimized by them.

I try to appreciate the person within.

What a beautiful story, Soufie!!
And you are right, we should way more often just say things like that. It's so simple, doesn't cost anything, and can brighten someone's day, and like in your case maybe even more.
Bless you for doing that!

As for myself... it has changed as I got a bit older and more self-confident.
Since I have a past of being bullied for 7 yrs on end at school, you start to think and observe differently. For instance trying to figure out why I was not accepted. Because of that I was always checking out the competition, which in those young days wasn't related to romantic love of course. But doing that becomes an ingrained pattern, even into adulthood.

But when I turned 40 it was like a switch had been flicked and I had far more self-confidence, for the first time in my life.
Now, at 55, I can totally appreciate seeing another woman being beautiful without having that feeling that I'm less or something like it.

The most beautiful women I have met never knew they were beautiful. They saw their flaws inside and out and were humble. My daughter grew up with a girl who is now a famous model, she was just like everyone else at school, with the same needs to belong and be loved.
To answer the question, no I have never been intimidated because they are just people.

I'm one that tends to voice their opinion on all kinds of matters.. And has no problem letting someone know that they are good looking/beautiful.. Ohh heck I have walked by a man that smelled really good and out loud said ohh my you smell good have a great day~~ and keep walking as I turned around and smiled

It doesn't hurt to recognize when someone has taken the effort to look good and has the personality to go with it ..

When raising my kids I use to tell them all the time just cause someone is beautiful on the outside if they are ugly within it will dull their beauty on the outside..

But when one is beautiful within it makes them shine brighter on the outside..

Egad... Don't tell anyone I said this. Shhhh!

But, physical appearance is the small part of beauty.
Personality can make or break.

My dad always used to say that beauty was only skin deep,
and that true beauty came from deep within and couldn’t necessarily
be seen, but was felt

Yeah, I get all the nice quotes and stuff. But that doesn't mean you actually feel that way when encountering someone who's more attractive.
What we know is often not what we feel. If it was that easy we could all repeat some beautiful affirmations and quotes and be 100% empowered. Life doesn't work that way...

Personally, I'm not jealous of anyone else on this planet.
I don't envy anyone.
I never wish to be like anyone.
I have no heroes.
There are people I do respect for talent or intelligence or just demonstrating rational thinking but most people I consider insane.
As for penis envy, I am proportional and it still works so, whatever.
I never get any complaints.

People are bombarded with the perfect image of people in TV shows, movies and commercials. If those are the 'rule' for how you should look I consider you shallow. Real people don't look like that in real life. When trying to be something you are not...cowboys, you display behavior which is not attractive.

Natural beauty displays with good posture, good hygiene and good attitude towards all others. There's no need to use make up, toupees, hair color or fancy dress to show natural beauty. Natural beauty has a sense about it.

I'd be lying if I claimed I NEVER get jealous. But it's never in any significant quantity, and it's not typically about appearance. It's more like, "Man, I wish I could sing like her" or "I really admire her teaching abilities". I'm in a good place and I have a pretty cool life. Plus as I've gotten older I've placed a lot less importance on beauty or on "things".

Thank you for your feedback!
And yes, getting older and a bit wiser can help in this, hihi.

Well actually Crystal that is how I feel, and no I don’t need to quote ‘beautiful affirmations and quotes’, and as I’ve gotten older I believe in it more and more, and life works different for us all.

But this is just my opinion

It's only good if you truly feel that way :)
All I was trying to say is that many people throw all kinds of beautiful phrases around but they're not how they feel on the inside.
But if you do, then that's great. It wasn't meant as judgement of you! It probably came out the wrong way, my apologies.

Your Dad was right, it is important to feel a certain connection to someone's soul and inner beauty, instead of looking at the outer layer of a person.

Or as my Granny always used to say, "When night falls, all cats are grey".

Anyway, I am rather focused on my own appearence, which is mainly about personal hygiene.

personally.. I dont even consider how other guy's look.
their attitude in how they treat others around them. is what I would actually notice. but that only interests me if I have to work around them, or if they are openly being jerks..
I'm comfortable with my self.
so the guy in the mirror(my reflection) is the only one I worry about how he looks. my job is to be the best me, I can be

I have noticed it is different with many women, because are taught from an early age to compare them selves to others. and it takes a lot of deprograming for some..to feel accepted for who they are, not who they should be.

of coarse I'm a guy...so my point of view is that of a man. and my own.

HMM.. a guy asked me a while back, for some advice. I suggested he might try to improve his appearance, comb his hair, get it cut, and try to look/be more possitive. would that count??

Yes I do think there is a difference in how this works for/in women and men. That's what I was curious about too, to hear men's views :)

I think women get judged more easily, including by other women, for how we look and what our bodies are like. And this starts at quite an early age, sadly enough, somewhere around 9 yrs old.
Which I suppose is shortly after we shift out of Theta where we just take everything in without filters. This happens around approx. 7 yrs old. I suppose ego isn't formed really until after that either.
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Quotes are great Trixie.

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. you need to accept yourself.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Thank you Crystal

I was brought up with a very different outlook as my dad was disabled and it made me view people, and myself in a different way. Sadly I also recognised discrimination and the ugly side of humanity from a very early age.