Being married and lonely is not great we or I do not have a life, there is a woman out there who is looking for a caring affectionate loving relationship

So you're trolling the internet looking for some side action????

Get a divorce first!

The assumption that men, or women, who are married and look outside their marriage for friends and/or companions are simply nasty people "cheating" on their spouse. It's not always so.

"Get a divorce first" is not always the answer. It may be if a couple are absolutely incompatible. But sometimes there are legal problems, financial problems, financial obligations or something else that makes divorce impractical to impossible.

I really don't care what people think of me but it's unfair to judge anybody when you've not walked in their shoes. Not all men are "pigs" looking for a little on the side. Some are just trapped in bad situations. That's all marriage is to me, a trap.

I'm sure she's doing the same thing... girl trips, girls night out, or using the same site.

If you say so, Admiral Ackbar.

That's a bunch of B.S. excuses.
If you're in a bad relationship get out of it first before you get into another one and screw up somebody else's life no matter what the financial costs.

Honestly it is guys like you that try to make up excuses why they cheat that I stay away from..

Sure the wife does not see the same way as you do..If so then maybe a site for married looking would fit you better~~

You and your wife need to really talk about what you both need from your marriage. If you or her can't meet the others needs, then you both have a decision to make: either you both accept an open marriage or decide to get divorced. There are no other options if you want to have a fulfilling future!!

I agree with getting a divorce, but, the flip side to that is, have you ever been with or married to an Evil Woman? I have. I agree with it depends on the situation. I never stepped out nor looked to any other woman, until I finally had enough and filed for divorce and got sole custody of the kids. Previous to that, she would leave with the kids to go have an affair and keep the kids away from unless I took her back when she felt she was done. When I saw that it was about to happen again, I had enough and filed. I raised my two daughters on my own since the youngest was still in diapers. Because I got custody, she completely abandoned the girls their whole lives. so yes, it is going to be tough and yes it is going to deplete your bank account and such, but, I learned from those times I took her back, I just wasted my years on nothing and I should have left her long before I did. It's like a bandaid, it's going to hurt to rip it off, but it is best to do it quick. I could tell a lot more about my ex and why I say she is Evil, but, that is for another forum lol. This is all true and I hope it helps on your decision on doing the right thing for you. Please people, do not judge until you know the details. I am not religious, but, I have moral character. I bet most that are judging are religious because it sounds offending when someone is looking outside the marriage and if you are religious, then you should know judgement isn't for us to do, it is for the higher power, instead of shaming without knowing the facts, we should calmly guide someone to the right path. Nothing is ever cut and dry or black and white, ?? Lol

1. One size does not fit all
- Getting a divorce is a personal decision which is governed by personal specifics. To tell someone to 'just get a divorce' is you attempting to make their decisions for them.

2. Life is NOT fair
- When you married that woman (or man) it wasn't fair but it may have seems so. If you chose poorly the blame for that is in the mirror looking back at you. Lesson needed...Make wise choices!

3. It takes two to tango
- Fault never lies with a single half of a relationship. Intimacy is not only for sex...conversations need to be personal and intimate. This requires trust. Turning to others to find a solution to your intimacy issues is violating the trust you should have for each other.
You are causing your own misery.

4. We live in an ever-changing Universe
- Why would you think your relationship would not change? Relationships always change both of you. If she (or he) is not the same person you met, that is a good thing. Problems arise when the trust is broken and honest, inimate discussions are not heard, heeded or divulged. Secrets kept from the one you love and trust above all others destroys that trust.

5. Use what you know
- Realizing there is a problem is only half of the first step. You mate must also realize there is a problem. By listening to your mate and heeding what they say and observing their non-verbal signals you can form a connection with them again.
However, this requires two-way participation.
Part of the problem is, too often, we don't know how to make it happen so we just give up and call it a lost cause. This is when outside help can steer you both in the right direction.
Trying to get this 'outside help' from just anybody can make it much worse. Seek guidance from professionals who are trained to deal with such matters. However, no matter how qualified a councillor may be, you both have to honestly participate in the mending process.

The LAST thing you want to do is rely on people on a dating site to give you sound relationship advice. This is a public forum and should not be used to make personal decisions.

Once you exhaust all your efforts the only logical step is to divorce. Only then should you join dating sites looking for another. Only then can you appreciate the responses you might finmd on those sites. Only then can you have the initiative to make personality changes so you do not repeat the same mistakes you made in the past.
Then, with the wisdom you have learned from your own experieces, you can make wiser choices.

Agree and can relate.

When a woman is REWARDED after a divorce ("Here, here's a big fat check and here are your kids") and a man is PUNISHED after a divorce ("We're taking half your assets AND giving custody of your children to your ex"), it kind of changes the dynamics.

Fact: 75% of all marriages are initiated by women. Hmmmmmmmm, wonder why?

The title of this reminds me of Dan Fogelberg's 1987 release, "Lonely in Love". [He died of prostate cancer, so a good warning to us to get regular checkups.]

Good idea

Take your responsibility for allowing yourself to become lonely while in a relationship.
What are you doing to make it more engaging?
Dating should happen with your Beloved your whole marriage.
Did you start taking it or her for granite? Did she?

If you are bored in a marriage you will be boring in a side relationship.
Wherever you go there you are!

May I suggest a Couples Counselor to help you both rediscover each other again and re-ignite your flame?

Finally, someone with good common sense.

Lure of FAT cheque mate what else