For me any form of contact with anyone outside of the bond two people have established as intimate ought to be considered cheating. There is no such thing as 'on a break'. You are either with someone or you aren't. The fact that the two people walked away from each other for an undisclosed amount of time, only to return to the scene of the crime and pick up where you left off, does not excuse the fact that one of you thought so very little about the other's feelings that you used this 'off again' period to have meaningless sex or sexual contact with somebody else just to fill in the gap---in time, between your legs and between your ears!

A lapse of judgement indeed!! Now, you just have to hit the reset button and start over with your significant other. Except that the other is not nearly as significant as they were before the cheating occurred. In fact, I would argue the separation was just an excuse used to indulge in this despicable behaviour, falling back on the excuse of 'well, you weren't around, so I just latched on to the nearest tramp or floozy to satisfy an urge.

This behaviour is disgusting..Period! Clearly, sex or the sexual encounter with this person meant more to you (than taking the time to think how you could be a better partner) or you would never have gone astray without first considering the irreparable ramifications of what you or they have done.

For me it would be the end as the bond of trust was broken.

Seems to me you think you should own the other person like property?
You obviously have trust issues.
A relationship 'joined at the hip' wears down quickly.
You need time apart to grow as a person.

"Taking a break" doesn't always mean "playing the field".
"Taking a break" can also mean they need some time to assess their feelings for you and the relationship your are building. Its healthy and very wise.

Possessive jealosy is not very appealing and you can damage a relationship if you treat your partner like you are already married before you are. Who wants to marry a psychopath?

I suggest you use the web and research "Healthy Self-Esteem".

No. Absolutely not. From my experience it has been that ‘He’ has treated me like property. He wanted me all to himself and it took a toll on me.

It was when I decided to take my life back by going online, spending time with close friends and doing things I enjoyed (beach, boating, cruises, dances, skiing etc...etc....) that made me happy but made him insecure. He feared loosing me to another man I guess.

We had very short periods of ‘off again’ (like several weeks not months). For two consecutive summers (2018/2019) he made plans to meet up with an old friend (who he claimed he communicated with re:Christianity from time to time) and did sexual things with her. Even drove an hour out of his way. At least his clothes never came off lol!!! And to think how many times I told him to take me to the beach both summers!!!!

I can understand him having a lapse of judgement once but come on doing it over the course of two summers.....that’s disgusting and shows he had no honour, respect or regard for me.

I confronted him about her last year and he downplayed it. She was just a woman before me (like 10 years before....laughable) I had no knowledge of her and she had no knowledge of me. To add insult to injury she was offended that ‘He wasn’t the Man of God’ she thought. Lol

I would of been happy if he used wisdom and that time away from me to assess his feelings for me and work on relationship building in a healthy way but he didn’t.

When I confronted him with the facts, (the email exchanges were heart wrenching to read) he said it was all talk and meant nothing. To add insult to injury he went on to say that it was my fault for hurting him by making him feel insecure.

I believe it was his (like you said) possessive jealousy that was not very appealing to me and it created cracks in the foundation of our relationship from the very beginning.

I made the mistake of being his wife. I made the mistake of accepting a proposal from a manipulative, controlling, gas lighting narcissist. And to think he had the audacity to tell me that what had transpired with this woman would have come out during marriage counselling is pile of crap!

I don’t want to be married to a psychopath. I am satisfied that the relationship ended at this time because it exposed ‘him’ and his ‘so called’ perfect character. Not only has our relationship ended but it also ended his 10 year friendship with that woman and cathartically halted any future attempt of being with her. (sexual or otherwise)

Isn’t it interesting how I gave this man 100% trust...now I learned to trust no one but God almighty.

He is so desperately trying to win me back by doing things and saying things he never did. In the Bible it says, ‘Love covers a multitude of sins’....where was his covering of me?

Little by little my heart will release him and I want him to do the same with me.

In closure don’t gamble your relationship and love away!

I've never even tried to imagine,
what It must be like, to take stock
in daytime television.

Way too much drama.

"Get thee to a nunnery".

And the point is????

It can be very helpful to seek professional help if you got cheated on and cannot get over it.
You might come to see and understand you have power in this: you can tell the other to take a hike when they think they can come back.
Or you can choose to feel like a victim...

Mostly in dating site 90% boys are looking for intimate relationship once their sex is done then they don't want to continue relationship further.

On again off again relationship is ok for some people.

As long as you don't feel like the victim.

I have a friend who went through something similar, and it took her her years to move past this man. Others, from the outside, simply could not understand why she kept going back to him time and time again. Thing was, and you actually stated this, if he can't have you then he doesn't want anyone else to have you.....but he wants you and others so he will never find satisfaction.

What he has done to you actually will take you more time to get over than you think. Cool that you found your faith in God and that will help. But he will keep coming around and slowly he will work on you (I am talking about the guy here). He may break you and you will take him back....he may not. And ever if he finds someone new, he will always have something for you.

Wow !!!! someones been hurt bad ! but fair dink you talk too much !

If it's any consolation, he never took me to the beach, despite me telling him to either, bastard.
Where's my eyeliner, come on girls, we're going out on the town, I need some sugar, and alcohol

Yes Racheal and Ross.

It is ONLY acceptable if YOU allow it..

In my opinion, there is no on again off again. It’s on, until there’s an irreconcilable difference. There may be a difference I’m unaware of, but I’m think an irreconcilable difference isn’t solved next week or next month. It’s irreconcilable. We’re on till we’re off, then we’re off, no looking back.

Well i see your point of view but maybe your guy thought that he had no chance to get back with you so in his mind if he thought it was really over no matter how much feelings he had for you and no matter how he would try then thats not his fault.Some people can love hard but move on just as fast and quick if they think there is no chance and if they think you wont give them a another chance.

most men in a new relationship after a while will pull back, reassess if its

what he really wants, if its more than once then kick him to the curb.

I hope you stay strong and are happy!

It is a big world with lots of variety.

If it works for the two of you, great.

This is amazing, I love you