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| Topic: DOMINANT vs. submissive, which one are you? | |
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AthenaRose...Sorry things didn't work out at the end in your relationship...Basically I'm sitting here alone now (too) since my husband died...There's no telling what the future might have in store for us...I had 2 earlier "failed" marriages and I'd been alone for 12 years (with my sons) when my "last" husband popped-up in my life...So there's no telling what may happen as time progresses...I just don't feel ready to date yet. And you can probably tell (from reading my posts) that I'm not exactly a normal woman...I used to call my husband my "needle in a haystack." He was a "rare find" for me...Anyway I've always done better when I didn't go on "searches." I think love comes knocking on our door when we're happy by ourselves and content doing our "own thing." What do you think? it's cool how we think so much alike, Claire... it's like since my divorce I can do exactly what makes me happy every single day... if I want to stay online and sleep weird hours, drink tons of coffee that I know I shouldn't but I do just because I can... lol... make new friends, and even a couple enemies too I think.. :)... but my new passion is posting music... now that I can lose myself in... I wish we lived closer so we could hang out and go to lunch, or have coffee... talk girl talk... 
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/28/divorce-rates-couples-who_n_1923623.html Divorce Rates: Couples Who Share Housework Run Higher Risk Of Divorce Ladies, you may want to think twice before asking your husband to help out around the house. According to a recent Norwegian study, the divorce rate among couples who share household chores was about 50 percent higher than for those in which the woman takes care of the housework. But don't let your husband put down the broom just yet; Researchers say that the increased rate has more to do with "modern" values and attitudes -- such as viewing marriage as less sacred -- rather than a cause-and-effect relationship. In modern relationships where housework is divided, "women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce," Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled "Equality in the Home," explained to news agency AFP. However, it's possible that a cause-and-effect relationship could account for lower divorce rates among couples who didn't divide the work and where clearly defined responsibilities between partners prevented one spouse from stepping on the other's toes. "There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight," Hansen said. I like this study data... and I'm going to look at the link you posted too... so it really does boil down to us women being able to financially support ourselves... that a lot of us stay in unhealthy relationships because we can't afford to make it on our own, unless we have roommates to help split expenses, that is, which is what I always did between marriages... plus a lot of women have children to consider too.. they can't work and pay for child care, so they stay home while the man works, but then he makes just enough for the family to get by... everybody is struggling these days from paycheck to paycheck, so the added expense of breakups can keep people living in misery with each other... neither of them really happy always fighting... that's one thing I don't do though is fight... I always walk off and cool off... or put it all in writing for him to read... talk about that taking some getting used too... a man that likes to verbally argue out his anger being with a woman that likes to write hers out... 
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What if the man doesn't have anger issues cuz he dumps his woes on Jesus?
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/28/divorce-rates-couples-who_n_1923623.html Divorce Rates: Couples Who Share Housework Run Higher Risk Of Divorce Ladies, you may want to think twice before asking your husband to help out around the house. According to a recent Norwegian study, the divorce rate among couples who share household chores was about 50 percent higher than for those in which the woman takes care of the housework. But don't let your husband put down the broom just yet; Researchers say that the increased rate has more to do with "modern" values and attitudes -- such as viewing marriage as less sacred -- rather than a cause-and-effect relationship. In modern relationships where housework is divided, "women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce," Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled "Equality in the Home," explained to news agency AFP. However, it's possible that a cause-and-effect relationship could account for lower divorce rates among couples who didn't divide the work and where clearly defined responsibilities between partners prevented one spouse from stepping on the other's toes. "There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight," Hansen said. I like this study data... and I'm going to look at the link you posted too... so it really does boil down to us women being able to financially support ourselves... that a lot of us stay in unhealthy relationships because we can't afford to make it on our own, unless we have roommates to help split expenses, that is, which is what I always did between marriages... plus a lot of women have children to consider too.. they can't work and pay for child care, so they stay home while the man works, but then he makes just enough for the family to get by... everybody is struggling these days from paycheck to paycheck, so the added expense of breakups can keep people living in misery with each other... neither of them really happy always fighting... that's one thing I don't do though is fight... I always walk off and cool off... or put it all in writing for him to read... talk about that taking some getting used too... a man that likes to verbally argue out his anger being with a woman that likes to write hers out...
I absolutely think that's why some women stay in relationships where the guy is in charge and she does everything he says. Not all, of course, but some. They just depend on the guy too much and don't think they'd be able to make it on their own. |
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What if the man doesn't have anger issues cuz he dumps his woes on Jesus? now that's cool, hippie... cuz I do too... and it keeps me happy.. 
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What if the man doesn't have anger issues cuz he dumps his woes on Jesus? now that's cool, hippie... cuz I do too... and it keeps me happy..
I've just been through the wringer so much it has wrung it all out of me. |
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/28/divorce-rates-couples-who_n_1923623.html Divorce Rates: Couples Who Share Housework Run Higher Risk Of Divorce Ladies, you may want to think twice before asking your husband to help out around the house. According to a recent Norwegian study, the divorce rate among couples who share household chores was about 50 percent higher than for those in which the woman takes care of the housework. But don't let your husband put down the broom just yet; Researchers say that the increased rate has more to do with "modern" values and attitudes -- such as viewing marriage as less sacred -- rather than a cause-and-effect relationship. In modern relationships where housework is divided, "women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce," Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled "Equality in the Home," explained to news agency AFP. However, it's possible that a cause-and-effect relationship could account for lower divorce rates among couples who didn't divide the work and where clearly defined responsibilities between partners prevented one spouse from stepping on the other's toes. "There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight," Hansen said. I like this study data... and I'm going to look at the link you posted too... so it really does boil down to us women being able to financially support ourselves... that a lot of us stay in unhealthy relationships because we can't afford to make it on our own, unless we have roommates to help split expenses, that is, which is what I always did between marriages... plus a lot of women have children to consider too.. they can't work and pay for child care, so they stay home while the man works, but then he makes just enough for the family to get by... everybody is struggling these days from paycheck to paycheck, so the added expense of breakups can keep people living in misery with each other... neither of them really happy always fighting... that's one thing I don't do though is fight... I always walk off and cool off... or put it all in writing for him to read... talk about that taking some getting used too... a man that likes to verbally argue out his anger being with a woman that likes to write hers out...
I absolutely think that's why some women stay in relationships where the guy is in charge and she does everything he says. Not all, of course, but some. They just depend on the guy too much and don't think they'd be able to make it on their own. in all reality, sweet, these days we're all lucky to be able to make it... and I really feel for women who are in abusive relationships, because there aren't any jobs that pay women here in Alabama enough to even be tempted to try and swing it on her own... unless she already owns her home, like inherited it through the family... or she has a tight support system she can depend on to help her make up for the differences financially during the weeks her paycheck is slack... even if she's doing the same work as a man she won't get the same rate of pay... times really are hard now for a lot of people.. |
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What if the man doesn't have anger issues cuz he dumps his woes on Jesus? now that's cool, hippie... cuz I do too... and it keeps me happy..
I've just been through the wringer so much it has wrung it all out of me. I totally understand that feeling.. especially having some health issues myself... it's like everything negative happening all at once... when will the end of that tunnel start shining a light our way.. 
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What if the man doesn't have anger issues cuz he dumps his woes on Jesus? now that's cool, hippie... cuz I do too... and it keeps me happy..
I've just been through the wringer so much it has wrung it all out of me. I totally understand that feeling.. especially having some health issues myself... it's like everything negative happening all at once... when will the end of that tunnel start shining a light our way..
I can see the light at the end. However, I'm still smelling the roses on the way. |
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What if the man doesn't have anger issues cuz he dumps his woes on Jesus? now that's cool, hippie... cuz I do too... and it keeps me happy..
I've just been through the wringer so much it has wrung it all out of me. I totally understand that feeling.. especially having some health issues myself... it's like everything negative happening all at once... when will the end of that tunnel start shining a light our way..
I can see the light at the end. However, I'm still smelling the roses on the way. 
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in all reality, sweet, these days we're all lucky to be able to make it... and I really feel for women who are in abusive relationships, because there aren't any jobs that pay women here in Alabama enough to even be tempted to try and swing it on her own... unless she already owns her home, like inherited it through the family... or she has a tight support system she can depend on to help her make up for the differences financially during the weeks her paycheck is slack... even if she's doing the same work as a man she won't get the same rate of pay... times really are hard now for a lot of people..
Absolutely. It's hard for a lot of people now. Jobs are tough to come by. |
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Submissive, all the way.
But if you want to play, I can whip your azz :-) |
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Submissive, all the way. and I'm the virgin Mary 
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Submissive, all the way. and I'm the virgin Mary
Was it my dominatrix closet, sorted by colors? |
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Submissive, all the way. and I'm the virgin Mary
Was it my dominatrix closet, sorted by colors? 
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Submissive, all the way. But if you want to play, I can whip your azz :-) hi soufie, it's nice to see you... OUCH! now I wasn't expecting this reply...
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Submissive, all the way. and I'm the virgin Mary
hi Mary, so you're still a virgin, huh? How's that working for you?
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Submissive, all the way. and I'm the virgin Mary
Was it my dominatrix closet, sorted by colors? this is getting more interesting though... 
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Submissive, all the way. and I'm the virgin Mary
Was it my dominatrix closet, sorted by colors?
nice one...
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I am just now starting to read this book that all of my friends are so crazy about. When I read what was posted from some people, I thought OMG are we kidding or what. I think being dominate or submissive is for the bedroom, I don't know, am I the only one that feels this way?
In a marriage it is suppose to be and equal thing. This is why I feel that this is for the bedroom only...and I am obviously dominating after reading what a lot of people have wrote. I already knew that because I like to be in control. BUT when you start talking about crossing the line and being punished...I am thinking what the heck, I am not going to be punished by NO man. Then you say he does he thing and you ask no questions...what kind of relationship is this? I would say that is not actually a marriage but an open marriage to where he can do what he wants and you sit by and allow it. The term comes to mind HAVING HIS CAKE AND EATING IT TOO? When i was married, we actually sit down and made a budget and that is where our money went and we both knew exactly what was going on with each other. IF he would have ever tried to punish me because I did something that he thought was wrong...I would have thought he was insane. Now like I said I am just now starting to read this book so maybe after I read it...I will understand this post more BUT right now, I am thinking that being dominate or submissive is for the bedroom only??? |
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