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| Topic: DOMINANT vs. submissive, which one are you? | |
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I have always looked at it like it is the partner and I against the competition. It improves the odds on success both in life and within the relationship exactly... cool that we have the same thoughts on this... |
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true equality is to be lauded, and I would like to see the living examples that will convince me of it's actual existence for all females... until unquestionable equality of girls and women has been reached and is commonplace in our cultures, I elect as a female to interact with my man by giving of myself for his happiness just as he will do likewise for me, or else he won't be with me... So, you don't believe that equality exists for women? Am I understanding that correctly? What do you think exists, then? I know for a fact that equality DOES NOT exist for ALL women.. women who are treated as equals earn that privilege, it is not bestowed on them as a birthright... So you feel that you haven't earned the privilege to be treated as an equal? I wasn't aware that I'm not being treated as an equal in the relationships that matter the most to me... I was just trying to figure out what you mean. I don't know you and know nothing about your relationships. But you brought up that some women have not earned the privilege to be treated as equal. Since this was a conversation about dominant and submissives, I thought you may have been referring to yourself. No offense intended. No offense taken, sweet... here in Alabama it's called the "good ole boy" state, because the men still rule, and corruptly, while women have very few rights that are respected unless we fight for them... it'll probably take Alabama another 100 or so years before she ever does evolve into main stream American ideals, if even then... I think Mississippi is even worse than Alabama when it comes to equal rights issues... but at least the racial tide finally turned here, back in the 60's, although it too percolates just under the surface... even now in 2013... |
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AthenaRose...Sorry about conditions for women where you live...A lot of couples operate like equals out here in the West. It's more the "norm" than not...Back in the 70's my journalism professor wrote a book called "Equal Marriage" that became popular...I haven't been around many people who have traditional marriages...Even older men cook and help their wives with clean-up out here today...Men who don't know how to cook seem odd and might have trouble finding a mate...And women are expected to roll-up their sleeves and do more today too...Guess we all come from different cultures. Sorry that things are hard for women where you live. Thanks for sharing more about it.
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AthenaRose...Sorry about conditions for women where you live...A lot of couples operate like equals out here in the West. It's more the "norm" than not...Back in the 70's my journalism professor wrote a book called "Equal Marriage" that became popular...I haven't been around many people who have traditional marriages...Even older men cook and help their wives with clean-up out here today...Men who don't know how to cook seem odd and might have trouble finding a mate...And women are expected to roll-up their sleeves and do more today too...Guess we all come from different cultures. Sorry that things are hard for women where you live. Thanks for sharing more about it.
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true equality is to be lauded, and I would like to see the living examples that will convince me of it's actual existence for all females... until unquestionable equality of girls and women has been reached and is commonplace in our cultures, I elect as a female to interact with my man by giving of myself for his happiness just as he will do likewise for me, or else he won't be with me... So, you don't believe that equality exists for women? Am I understanding that correctly? What do you think exists, then? I know for a fact that equality DOES NOT exist for ALL women.. women who are treated as equals earn that privilege, it is not bestowed on them as a birthright... So you feel that you haven't earned the privilege to be treated as an equal? I wasn't aware that I'm not being treated as an equal in the relationships that matter the most to me... I was just trying to figure out what you mean. I don't know you and know nothing about your relationships. But you brought up that some women have not earned the privilege to be treated as equal. Since this was a conversation about dominant and submissives, I thought you may have been referring to yourself. No offense intended. No offense taken, sweet... here in Alabama it's called the "good ole boy" state, because the men still rule, and corruptly, while women have very few rights that are respected unless we fight for them... it'll probably take Alabama another 100 or so years before she ever does evolve into main stream American ideals, if even then... I think Mississippi is even worse than Alabama when it comes to equal rights issues... but at least the racial tide finally turned here, back in the 60's, although it too percolates just under the surface... even now in 2013... I will be honest Athena; I am dealing with the same type of mentality from men here too. I live in redneck country and Calgary is just full of these types. I find myself constantly fighting for my rights but after doing it for so long; its become second nature to me. |
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true equality is to be lauded, and I would like to see the living examples that will convince me of it's actual existence for all females... until unquestionable equality of girls and women has been reached and is commonplace in our cultures, I elect as a female to interact with my man by giving of myself for his happiness just as he will do likewise for me, or else he won't be with me... So, you don't believe that equality exists for women? Am I understanding that correctly? What do you think exists, then? I know for a fact that equality DOES NOT exist for ALL women.. women who are treated as equals earn that privilege, it is not bestowed on them as a birthright... So you feel that you haven't earned the privilege to be treated as an equal? I wasn't aware that I'm not being treated as an equal in the relationships that matter the most to me... I was just trying to figure out what you mean. I don't know you and know nothing about your relationships. But you brought up that some women have not earned the privilege to be treated as equal. Since this was a conversation about dominant and submissives, I thought you may have been referring to yourself. No offense intended. No offense taken, sweet... here in Alabama it's called the "good ole boy" state, because the men still rule, and corruptly, while women have very few rights that are respected unless we fight for them... it'll probably take Alabama another 100 or so years before she ever does evolve into main stream American ideals, if even then... I think Mississippi is even worse than Alabama when it comes to equal rights issues... but at least the racial tide finally turned here, back in the 60's, although it too percolates just under the surface... even now in 2013... Yeah, I don't think I could live in a state like Alabama. Too stuck in the past for my tastes. I'm happy in Maryland, though! |
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AthenaRose...Sorry about conditions for women where you live...A lot of couples operate like equals out here in the West. It's more the "norm" than not...Back in the 70's my journalism professor wrote a book called "Equal Marriage" that became popular...I haven't been around many people who have traditional marriages...Even older men cook and help their wives with clean-up out here today...Men who don't know how to cook seem odd and might have trouble finding a mate...And women are expected to roll-up their sleeves and do more today too...Guess we all come from different cultures. Sorry that things are hard for women where you live. Thanks for sharing more about it. I sure wish it was "in the norm" here too... but maybe now that I'm online I'll luck out and meet a man that's not from this area... it would be nice to experience life and love in a different form and fashion than I'm used to here... I could tell you the horror stories about how even the authorities protect the offenders while punishing their victims for speaking out... which of course keeps the women and their children in continual danger.. because the men know they won't be held accountable for their actions they do whatever they want to, then gloat about it... |
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AthenaRose...Sorry about conditions for women where you live...A lot of couples operate like equals out here in the West. It's more the "norm" than not...Back in the 70's my journalism professor wrote a book called "Equal Marriage" that became popular...I haven't been around many people who have traditional marriages...Even older men cook and help their wives with clean-up out here today...Men who don't know how to cook seem odd and might have trouble finding a mate...And women are expected to roll-up their sleeves and do more today too...Guess we all come from different cultures. Sorry that things are hard for women where you live. Thanks for sharing more about it. I know more men that cook than women these days. 
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true equality is to be lauded, and I would like to see the living examples that will convince me of it's actual existence for all females... until unquestionable equality of girls and women has been reached and is commonplace in our cultures, I elect as a female to interact with my man by giving of myself for his happiness just as he will do likewise for me, or else he won't be with me... So, you don't believe that equality exists for women? Am I understanding that correctly? What do you think exists, then? I know for a fact that equality DOES NOT exist for ALL women.. women who are treated as equals earn that privilege, it is not bestowed on them as a birthright... So you feel that you haven't earned the privilege to be treated as an equal? I wasn't aware that I'm not being treated as an equal in the relationships that matter the most to me... I was just trying to figure out what you mean. I don't know you and know nothing about your relationships. But you brought up that some women have not earned the privilege to be treated as equal. Since this was a conversation about dominant and submissives, I thought you may have been referring to yourself. No offense intended. No offense taken, sweet... here in Alabama it's called the "good ole boy" state, because the men still rule, and corruptly, while women have very few rights that are respected unless we fight for them... it'll probably take Alabama another 100 or so years before she ever does evolve into main stream American ideals, if even then... I think Mississippi is even worse than Alabama when it comes to equal rights issues... but at least the racial tide finally turned here, back in the 60's, although it too percolates just under the surface... even now in 2013... I will be honest Athena; I am dealing with the same type of mentality from men here too. I live in redneck country and Calgary is just full of these types. I find myself constantly fighting for my rights but after doing it for so long; its become second nature to me. I know what you mean, navygirl... but I've been fighting this equality issue for decades, from within the system itself, and there have been changes made, but they still aren't useful to most females... you have to have a degree from Harvard, or be wealthy, and from a connected family before they even consider you to be part of the human race... at times they treat animals better than they do females here... and having to roll up our sleeves and act like men, so to speak, I feel like I'm losing my feminine identity... and there's nothing I love more in life on a personal note, than being a girly girl... I'm tired of having to be the head of house, and wish I had a man with big enough shoulders I could lean against sometimes, just to remember what being a delicate woman who needs her strong man to hold her feels like... it's a crying shame that all I can do these days is just dream about what being a woman used to mean... |
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true equality is to be lauded, and I would like to see the living examples that will convince me of it's actual existence for all females... until unquestionable equality of girls and women has been reached and is commonplace in our cultures, I elect as a female to interact with my man by giving of myself for his happiness just as he will do likewise for me, or else he won't be with me... So, you don't believe that equality exists for women? Am I understanding that correctly? What do you think exists, then? I know for a fact that equality DOES NOT exist for ALL women.. women who are treated as equals earn that privilege, it is not bestowed on them as a birthright... So you feel that you haven't earned the privilege to be treated as an equal? I wasn't aware that I'm not being treated as an equal in the relationships that matter the most to me... I was just trying to figure out what you mean. I don't know you and know nothing about your relationships. But you brought up that some women have not earned the privilege to be treated as equal. Since this was a conversation about dominant and submissives, I thought you may have been referring to yourself. No offense intended. No offense taken, sweet... here in Alabama it's called the "good ole boy" state, because the men still rule, and corruptly, while women have very few rights that are respected unless we fight for them... it'll probably take Alabama another 100 or so years before she ever does evolve into main stream American ideals, if even then... I think Mississippi is even worse than Alabama when it comes to equal rights issues... but at least the racial tide finally turned here, back in the 60's, although it too percolates just under the surface... even now in 2013... Yeah, I don't think I could live in a state like Alabama. Too stuck in the past for my tastes. I'm happy in Maryland, though! you're exactly right, sweet... my dad was born and raised in Baltimore, and if it hadn't been for his military career moving us all around the country and to Puerto Rico, we wouldn't have set down roots here in the 70's... |
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AthenaRose...Sorry about conditions for women where you live...A lot of couples operate like equals out here in the West. It's more the "norm" than not...Back in the 70's my journalism professor wrote a book called "Equal Marriage" that became popular...I haven't been around many people who have traditional marriages...Even older men cook and help their wives with clean-up out here today...Men who don't know how to cook seem odd and might have trouble finding a mate...And women are expected to roll-up their sleeves and do more today too...Guess we all come from different cultures. Sorry that things are hard for women where you live. Thanks for sharing more about it. I know more men that cook than women these days. That's awesome, to know there are real people that behave normally outside the borders of this region... and I thought I'd be able to meet some of them online too... but I think there's just as many scammers on the internet as there are rednecks in Dixie...
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AthenaRose...Hard to imagine what things are like in your area. Sorry about it..I've never really been a "girly girl." Sometimes I even forget that I'm a woman because I usually just think of myself as a person...I have a lot of caring ways and enjoy being thoughtful and polite but I am probably more androgynous...So I don't think in terms of finding a strong man to take care of me so I can go back to being feminine...My husband and I were best friends with a little more added in...Both of us were "team players" and well-rounded and even "interchangeable" when it came to getting things done around here...My husband was the baker in the family and he made all kinds of breads and sweet-treats...Plus he grew veggies in his garden and "canned" his special gourmet jalapenos for me. And he made and "canned" salsa's and fresh tomato sauce etc...We were both free to dabble in any area that "sparked our fancy" with no taboo's or limitations based on our gender.
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I will not play the dominant one in respect for my husband-to-be. I will not also play the submissive type. I learned my lesson already. I want a relationship full of love and understanding. If problem occurs i want him to share it to me so that he'll know that he is not alone. I will be the supportive wife. I just want to get even. Maybe to be submissive to the right of my husband in terms of need(matrimonial blessing).other than that we will talk about it.
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AthenaRose...Hard to imagine what things are like in your area. Sorry about it..I've never really been a "girly girl." Sometimes I even forget that I'm a woman because I usually just think of myself as a person...I have a lot of caring ways and enjoy being thoughtful and polite but I am probably more androgynous...So I don't think in terms of finding a strong man to take care of me so I can go back to being feminine...My husband and I were best friends with a little more added in...Both of us were "team players" and well-rounded and even "interchangeable" when it came to getting things done around here...My husband was the baker in the family and he made all kinds of breads and sweet-treats...Plus he grew veggies in his garden and "canned" his special gourmet jalapenos for me. And he made and "canned" salsa's and fresh tomato sauce etc...We were both free to dabble in any area that "sparked our fancy" with no taboo's or limitations based on our gender. my ex did his share of chores for many years and he even cooked at times, he was the BBQer... we did have many good years and times together... until the last 5 to 7... but his family being born and bred in Alabama, while mine was born and bred in Maryland and Massachusetts, gave us very little in common socially... we stayed together for so long because of the strong chemistry bond between us... plus I didn't want to go through another divorce. I wanted this to be my last commitment, but nothing I did brought the magic back once it was gone... so I had to let him go... I envy your awesome relationship, I wish I could experience something like that for myself... maybe God has plans for me yet, that's why I couldn't stay married even after devoting 18 years of my life... but I'm not going to make that my main focus anymore... because it's to much like waiting for that phone call that never comes... |
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I will not play the dominant one in respect for my husband-to-be. I will not also play the submissive type. I learned my lesson already. I want a relationship full of love and understanding. If problem occurs i want him to share it to me so that he'll know that he is not alone. I will be the supportive wife. I just want to get even. Maybe to be submissive to the right of my husband in terms of need(matrimonial blessing).other than that we will talk about it. hi Winlei... it's nice to see you... and I'm very impressed with your attitude about what you expect and what you will give... every relationship has to have give and take in order for both people to feel validated... at my age it is my fervent hope that I will not repeat my mistakes... and that I will make wise decisions too, as I move forward through the last years of my journey here... |
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I have a "take-charge" personality, but I can be submissive if someone else has a better idea. Not all of my ideas are better.
In a relationship, I'd prefer an equal. It's nice to let someone else drive every now and then. |
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AthenaRose...Sorry things didn't work out at the end in your relationship...Basically I'm sitting here alone now (too) since my husband died...There's no telling what the future might have in store for us...I had 2 earlier "failed" marriages and I'd been alone for 12 years (with my sons) when my "last" husband popped-up in my life...So there's no telling what may happen as time progresses...I just don't feel ready to date yet. And you can probably tell (from reading my posts) that I'm not exactly a normal woman...I used to call my husband my "needle in a haystack." He was a "rare find" for me...Anyway I've always done better when I didn't go on "searches." I think love comes knocking on our door when we're happy by ourselves and content doing our "own thing." What do you think?
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I have a "take-charge" personality, but I can be submissive if someone else has a better idea. Not all of my ideas are better. In a relationship, I'd prefer an equal. It's nice to let someone else drive every now and then. |
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I have a "take-charge" personality, but I can be submissive if someone else has a better idea. Not all of my ideas are better. In a relationship, I'd prefer an equal. It's nice to let someone else drive every now and then. I agree... |
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/28/divorce-rates-couples-who_n_1923623.html
Divorce Rates: Couples Who Share Housework Run Higher Risk Of Divorce Ladies, you may want to think twice before asking your husband to help out around the house. According to a recent Norwegian study, the divorce rate among couples who share household chores was about 50 percent higher than for those in which the woman takes care of the housework. But don't let your husband put down the broom just yet; Researchers say that the increased rate has more to do with "modern" values and attitudes -- such as viewing marriage as less sacred -- rather than a cause-and-effect relationship. In modern relationships where housework is divided, "women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce," Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled "Equality in the Home," explained to news agency AFP. However, it's possible that a cause-and-effect relationship could account for lower divorce rates among couples who didn't divide the work and where clearly defined responsibilities between partners prevented one spouse from stepping on the other's toes. "There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight," Hansen said. |
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