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Topic: Married twice... red flag?
mountainwatergirl Joined Thu 06/04/09 Posts: 656	Sun 02/10/13 08:20 AM Edited by mountainwatergirl on Sun 02/10/13 08:21 AM
What do you think of a potential date that has been married more than once and is single again? Does that raise questions of why that may be?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sun 02/10/13 08:24 AM
It might make me wonder a bit, but it wouldn't stop me from getting to know them. I've been told by some that being single (never married) and in my 30s is a red flag. So, who knows.

graywolf55 Joined Wed 09/19/12 Posts: 1259	Sun 02/10/13 08:34 AM
What do you think of a potential date that has been married more than once and is single again? Does that raise questions of why that may be? Its not who you have been with in the(past)Married or single!I don't know the reason they are not with him or her now,But given the chance you could get to know a "honest" Man or Woman.Don't judge so much on the past"mistakes are made by all".Just done let your or their mistakes spoil a possible FUTURE!!!

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45349	Sun 02/10/13 08:36 AM
Well I have been married twice so I say yes, it is a red flag..like you wave in front of a bull.

kc0003 Joined Fri 05/11/07 Posts: 26382	Sun 02/10/13 08:37 AM
for me, yes. of course i understand there could be any number of reasons for this, such as bad choices, inability to truly commit or they simply may not be 'marriage' material. although it wouldn't keep me from going out with someone, it might have me paying more attention to deficiencies.

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76392	Sun 02/10/13 08:37 AM
Humm I've only been married once and now divorced for 21 years so what does that say about me?? Some marriages do not work for many reasons and some times they just were not meant to be. Does not mean the person can not hold a relationship just that they have not found that one they click with in every way... But if others want to judge on how many times one has been married. Or how long they have been single, then they are better off for that person to move on.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Sun 02/10/13 08:38 AM Edited by oldhippie1952 on Sun 02/10/13 08:41 AM
I've been married twice. Yet I still want someone.

krupa Joined Thu 07/03/08 Posts: 18651	Sun 02/10/13 08:42 AM
Only if it is 1950 Seriously.....I am the only person I know who has never been divorced....what the hell is wrong with the rest of you pinhead screw ups? Oh yeah....y'all were dumb enough to get married. Next question. :)

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76392	Sun 02/10/13 08:47 AM
Only if it is 1950 Seriously.....I am the only person I know who has never been divorced....what the hell is wrong with the rest of you pinhead screw ups? Oh yeah....y'all were dumb enough to get married. Next question. :) Your just not right boy~~~~~

kc0003 Joined Fri 05/11/07 Posts: 26382	Sun 02/10/13 08:53 AM
you are not the only one... <--------------------------------------------------NEVER!

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 02/10/13 08:56 AM
Well I have been married twice so I say yes, it is a red flag..like you wave in front of a bull. come and get it baby?

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 02/10/13 09:00 AM
for me, yes. of course i understand there could be any number of reasons for this, such as bad choices, inability to truly commit or they simply may not be 'marriage' material. although it wouldn't keep me from going out with someone, it might have me paying more attention to deficiencies. possilby but "deficienies" perhaps you mean compatibilties? I see a man who is in his 40s or above who has never been married as a red flag.... most of us who are beyond our 20s-mid to 30s or so have some degree of baggage, but I am not sure that I would say that is a deficiency. To me a man who has been married more than once has at least the jones to put himself out there...he just needs to be more careful (and I 'd say the same for a woman in those shoes)...jmho

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 02/10/13 09:05 AM
What do you think of a potential date that has been married more than once and is single again? Does that raise questions of why that may be? the reasons would be important, and how he spoke about those experiences,,,,,I am twice divorced myself

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sun 02/10/13 09:07 AM
for me, yes. of course i understand there could be any number of reasons for this, such as bad choices, inability to truly commit or they simply may not be 'marriage' material. although it wouldn't keep me from going out with someone, it might have me paying more attention to deficiencies. possilby but "deficienies" perhaps you mean compatibilties? I see a man who is in his 40s or above who has never been married as a red flag.... most of us who are beyond our 20s-mid to 30s or so have some degree of baggage, but I am not sure that I would say that is a deficiency. To me a man who has been married more than once has at least the jones to put himself out there...he just needs to be more careful (and I 'd say the same for a woman in those shoes)...jmho Someone has to have been married to have put themselves out there? Interesting.

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Sun 02/10/13 09:16 AM
Some times people just need time to find themselves and be honest in what they are truly looking for. I wouldn't look down on someone for their past mistakes because I would expect the same.

mountainwatergirl Joined Thu 06/04/09 Posts: 656	Sun 02/10/13 09:43 AM
So is it appropriate to ask why their marriages failed? I've only gotten defensive replies. Blaming their spouse. But will you ever know the truth? Isnt marriage a promise to stay together no matter what? If not, why bother? For some title? For tax purposes? To me, thats not a reason to get married. Its not a trial basis and if you dont like it then divorce. I need to know this person didnt throw it away. I cant know that without asking. I like asking early on because I dont like wasting months on someone to wait for this info I really need asap.

Torgo70 Joined Fri 06/27/08 Posts: 27387	Sun 02/10/13 09:47 AM
you are not the only one... <--------------------------------------------------NEVER! Ditto!

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Sun 02/10/13 09:48 AM
So is it appropriate to ask why their marriages failed? I've only gotten defensive replies. Blaming their spouse. But will you ever know the truth? Isnt marriage a promise to stay together no matter what? If not, why bother? For some title? For tax purposes? To me, thats not a reason to get married. Its not a trial basis and if you dont like it then divorce. I need to know this person didnt throw it away. I cant know that without asking. I like asking early on because I dont like wasting months on someone to wait for this info I really need asap. My first marriage we were simply too young, just out of high school. My second marriage she decided she'd much rather do drugs. Is that blaming the spouse good enough?

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 02/10/13 09:50 AM
So is it appropriate to ask why their marriages failed? I've only gotten defensive replies. Blaming their spouse. But will you ever know the truth? Isnt marriage a promise to stay together no matter what? If not, why bother? For some title? For tax purposes? To me, thats not a reason to get married. Its not a trial basis and if you dont like it then divorce. I need to know this person didnt throw it away. I cant know that without asking. I like asking early on because I dont like wasting months on someone to wait for this info I really need asap. its appropriate to ask , although the manner and tone may be inappropriate most people dont enter marriage expecting it to fail, and the 'no matter what' requires an absolute standard I dont think anyone can truly meet (for instance, does no matter what include if the spouse is abusing the children?,, different people have different limits) its reasonable to want to have some clue as to a persons past relationship trends and history, although, as you say, its only going to be one persons side of the story,,,

manOfewwords Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 29908	Sun 02/10/13 09:51 AM
What do you think of a potential date that has been married more than once and is single again? Does that raise questions of why that may be? haven't we all been married twice?????