Topic: feeling guilty
shandi69's photo
Fri 06/01/12 11:21 PM
want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension

oldhippie1952's photo
Fri 06/01/12 11:25 PM

want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension


Yes I do consider it cheating.

DiggityDave's photo
Fri 06/01/12 11:51 PM
I am an extremely chill person and i forgive a lot, but cheating is the worst in my book.

If my partner cheated on me the only way with a tiny chance of taking them back would be if they really felt horrible about it and begged me to take them back. But if she cheated on me then it probably wont get to that lol.

Now E Cheating on the other hand could lead to irl cheating so you should be carful if you start doing it, maybe you should sex chat with your partner and then take it to the bedroom with a bit of roleplay.

>:)

Hope that helped

Albert0000's photo
Fri 06/01/12 11:54 PM
It was the best th u did, I mean telling him, how weird it would have been if he got to know it himself without you telling him. Wish you good luck and never cheat

Totage's photo
Sat 06/02/12 12:09 AM

want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension


It is cheating. I see it as a red flag when people do not see it as a form of cheating, it would indicate to me that we were not on the same level.

If you feel it's a form of cheating, it is. Seeing how you felt guilty about it, I would say you feel it is. Your BFs reaction indicates he feels different about it, and may have even do so himself. Not saying he has or anything though. Just giving my view on it is all.

no photo
Sat 06/02/12 04:20 AM
Maybe the reason you felt guilty was that you shared something intimate- something that defines the difference between friends and lovers- with someone other than your lover...that's not right.

The fact that you told your partner, is good... personally (and its just my opinion) that one relationship should be the one where there isnt anything youre afraid to say, nothing has to be hidden.. you can truly be you without wanting or needing to put a mask on.. it should feel loving and supportive.

Ask yourself why? Why even talk like that to someone else? why someone else and not your lover? is there something missing, why did you want that with someone else and not your partner?

Physically cheating is the final nail in the whole thing.. but long before that people sometimes emotionally cheat, and thats the point, where if you truly care about the relationship you are in, there is an opportunity to look at whats not right and make it better together.

Don't do it.. it burns everyone involved.

Kahurangi's photo
Sat 06/02/12 04:37 AM

want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension


No matter what angle i looked at this from...it was still cheating. Btw...you have a very understanding partner.

no photo
Sat 06/02/12 08:34 AM

want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension


Yes, it is a form of cheating but if you're both ok with it...I wouldn't be

shandi69's photo
Sat 06/02/12 09:11 AM
thanks guys n gals, i feel so at ease to know that i am not the only that feels it is... And well he is even more understanding now when he asked wat i texted... And the sex chat n texting is between him n i now.... And i'm not share with another man again... For he don't want to lose me to any of the young guys... Lol.

Totage's photo
Sat 06/02/12 11:15 AM
Good to see it worked out and he's understanding. :)

RainbowTrout's photo
Sat 06/02/12 02:51 PM
Edited by RainbowTrout on Sat 06/02/12 02:51 PM

want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension


Heck of an awakening or if you like the Highlander show a quickening isn't it? Especially if it is someone who you can actually converse with versus a partner who just keeps giving you the cold shoulder. If you have watched the Matrix it is like being trapped in two worlds with the one world being the red pill with reality as it is and nothing changes. Then the choice of the blue pill with this brand new reality which at present is only theoretically virtual. Freedom of choice for some is not really an option. :smile:

msharmony's photo
Sat 06/02/12 02:52 PM

want to know if u consider having sex chats with a person cheating if it is not yr partner... I did it once and felt so guilty for it... I told him and he laughed n said it was ok to help men release the tension



cheating, no

disrespectful to a commitment/relationship, most likely...

all depends upon the language used,,,and the context

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 06/02/12 03:02 PM
If your partner is not your spouse, then there is no cheating because your partner hasn't made a permanent committment to you. You are a free agent until you get married.

no photo
Sat 06/02/12 03:24 PM

If your partner is not your spouse, then there is no cheating because your partner hasn't made a permanent committment to you. You are a free agent until you get married.


whoa... so being unfaithful doesnt exist until youre married? you can make a permanent commitment to somebody without getting married, married is just a piece of paper... the commitment between people and the feelings are totally seperate arent they? cheating is disrespectful and a violation of the commitment you show to each other. unless its okay with you both to have an open relationship, monogomy is the default isnt it?

shandi69's photo
Sat 06/02/12 10:51 PM
paper or no paper to me a partner is the person u live with, share things with each other, lay in the same bed and bills so to me i say that counts as being married... Its all the same commitment.

madamx7316's photo
Sat 06/02/12 11:01 PM
in my personal opinion i think any type of intimate encounter even if only talk is cheating, but that is just how i feel. everyone has the right to their feelings and opinions. if you felt the guilt, then it was wrong. that was your heart and conscience making you face your convictions. if your partner didnt seem to mind, i would be wondering why... but im also glad it didnt create a problem for you in your relationship as well.

madamx7316's photo
Sat 06/02/12 11:02 PM
also... big kudos to you for your honesty! that also speaks volumes!

krupa's photo
Sun 06/03/12 02:57 PM
You look like my best friends ex "Chandi"

Not your fault....stil.......hard to ignore.

TammyA's photo
Sun 06/03/12 03:44 PM
If you are with someone and have decided to be exclusive to each other, then any sexual encounters, whether it be physical or verbal, is cheating, in my opinion.

TammyA's photo
Sun 06/03/12 04:16 PM
Don't do anything you wouldn't want your partner doing and/or that you can't tell your partner.