Agreed dr pepper is the way to go.

Waffles

Yes, we hold our kids hostage and wonder they rebel.
We parents hold everything over their heads..even the family home.

"While your in MY house you follow MY rules."
I always thought that was such a stupid thing to say to a kid.
Is it NOT their house too?

Giving with restrictions is not giving at all.
Giving a gift with full intentions of taking it back at will,
is not giving at all.

We're supposed to love our children unconditionally.
Most people parent with MANY conditions, cause they THINK their smarter than their kids.
LOL..the kids know better.

Parents who resort to terrorism to teach respect...DO NOT deserve their children's respect.

You can smack em all day
take EVERYTHING you ever gave them...
at the end of the day, they still won't have any respect for ya.
But, YOU will have won the round, cause YOUR in CONTROL!!!

I agreed with all the rest but want to highlight this part

I keep thinking back to to the judge video. I cannot get my head round how ANYBODY in this day and age in a developed country can condone this barbaric method of discipline.

Yea, i know.

Turns my stomach.

I guess it depends upon the definition of 'hostage'


but I doubt folks in, lets say, the middle east, would have felt quite so bad with meals of their choice, interaction regularly with peers and family, free internet, cable, telephone, transportation, housing, heat, a/c....you get the point,,,,

lol,,hostage indeed


quite the contrary, do you know what 'conditions' taught me?

that a RELATIONSHIP runs both ways, not just one way(isnt that called selfishness, when its only about what ONE person wants and needs?

that love may be unconditional, but that it doesnt require the one doing the loving to ACCEPT whatever happens without any reactions except to continue giving and being used (perhaps why I havent remained in nor would never consider being in an abusive relationship or with a selfish man?



that my parents CARED enough to give me guidelines , not only those that were for my immediate safety, but those which taught me valuable lessons to apply as a grown up so life wouldnt be as hard or disappointing,,,



,,these are what 'conditions' taught me,, and I felt plenty of love to boot,,,,


if others felt like hostages, perhaps it was for reasons beyond whether they were 'spanked'

parenting is about a BALANCE and not any one element, and pain comes in many ways , emotional and physical, as does discomfort,, but pain is also a valuable tool, as is discomfort

in teaching us the reality that life will not always be about what WE Want and that some choices initiate a string of very uncomfortable and sometimes painful reactions

I had a BALANCE that was just fine, with conditions, and with discipline, and with love, and with support


what other people had or have, is their personal business, and they should use it to decide what will work for THEM

being spanked on the GLUTEUS MAXIMUS (one of the most well padded muscles in the body) is not barbaric

being punched would be, being slapped repeatedly about the body might be, being put in a cage would be,,,lol

but I doubt the barbarians are so called because of giving 'spankings'

Keep listening to your pastor when he tells ya all that and keep telling yourself it's ALL true...

GLUTEUS MAXIMUS..my arse


Beating a child with a weapon says more about the parent than the child.

yep , it says that parent has chosen spanking as a disciplinary option

LOL....


I was spanked, with a belt,,,(not more times than I can count on one hand,, but it happened)

and my parents were WONDERFUL

didnt learn it from a pastor, learned it in ANATOMY...lol

You may be a Masochist.

or ,, a very loving, 'normal', productive, non violent, respectful, respectable, african american woman,,,,

spanking is for the purpose of inflicting pain.

for some

for others it is a learning and disciplinary tool

spanking is for the purpose of inflicting pain in the hope that the person being spanked will fear being spanked enough that he will avoid getting caught the next time.

I'm getting loving, normal, productive, non violent, respectful, respectable.....and stubborn!!

Hey Harmony!!!

very broadly, any NEGATIVE consequence is 'painful' on either an emotional or physical level

but that doesnt mean the PURPOSE of discipline is the 'pain'


why did nature cause it to hurt so damn much when we put our hand over an open flame? because that 'sensation' of being in discomfort/pain is a great deterrent from doing something that is causing HARM to our body that we may otherwise not realize until after the damage was done

consequences have a purpose, whether they are good or bad, to teach a lesson of some sort,,,

Hey buddy


I love my folks man and appreciate every effort and sacrifice they made to give us stability and security and love(even if it was something they were 'supposed' to do, Im able to know how to APPRECIATE It not just with a word but through ACTION)_


so,,,,I guess I am a bit stubborn when folks who dont know them make sweeping judgments about what kind of parents they are based on nothing but knowledge of being 'spanked'

Well, I meant stubborn in a good way ...and I agree, sweeping judgements about parenting methods are almost always wrong....It is the same with any sweeping judgement one makes about another's relationship with ANYONE....Only the people directly involved know the "total" context of the relationship...