'wwll part of the reason for me that I am big is due to in part I am slightly disabled, and for me I have to exercise less rigerously. I am going to the gym and working out and learning to eat differently. I will always be big however. If they do not like me as me to bad. 'but I am finding it helpful to hear what others have to say.

I do find it strange the way so many men are vilified simply for having a preference. We are "shallow" and "superficial" and "manipulated" just because we're not attracted to what someone else thinks we're supposed to be attracted to.

And I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm simply not attracted to the ones people think I should be attracted to. I don't understand how they think they're in any position to dictate to me what it is I'm supposed to like.

I'm not saying they have to agree with it, but at least don't act like I've committed an unpardonable sin by not being attracted to this one or that one.

The fact is, I'm not attracted to very many people at all. Only a few, only a couple of very well-defined types. That's it. I'm not saying the others are bad people. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them. All I'm saying is that, on a very fundamental, visceral level, there's no attraction there.

I wish people would stop taking this so personally. I like what I like, and name-calling is not going to make me change that.

That is not fat. that is what the average women looks like.

But but but her thighs touch! With some men, that's a big no no.

Yeah, most men have a lot maturing to do. The vast majority of women do not look like a waif. Sorry guys. Killed ya dreams. Sorry shallow peeps, 'tis the truth. Cut to them waking up in a nursing home, stolid and alone. They deserve it quite honestly. Maybe its the LA thing, but to me, if you're more concerned about the numbers on the devil invention that is the scale, then wowch. I am so TIRED of looks being the front row seat to a "good" life. We are still children in the playground. This is what we've grown into. Men: the media has bought you off. They told you how to think, congrats for taking the bait.

I think you and your sister are very strong people. I am just learning to love me for me. Its been hard to figure out who I am and to love myself when I let others define me for most all my life. I used to depend on otersopions more and want to helpothers understand to love you is just as important if not more so.

dinopoodle,

Absolutely. We have to love ourselves or at least know who we are (the good and bad) and own it. That (IMO) is more attractive and will shine through

My sister is disabled with a blood disease. She used to be on a morphine drip and now takes the pain meds they give a 3rd degree burn victim. She is pretty much bed ridden and only gets out of the house for the doctor and special occasions....like Christmas. She has gained a lot of weight because she can't do anything. Her muscles are weakened. She can't even go into the sun for more than 15 min without blistering. But she knows who she is (she's also been happily married for 20 yrs)

She was the one growing up that was on the heavy side (after mom's side of the family) and I was always skinny (after dad's side)

We always envied each other growing up. We have each battled eating disorders when we were younger, for different reasons. I had it the worst and almost died from it. I was 5'7 and under 100 lbs. But we realized the grass isn't greener on the other side and we are now happy with who we are.

HOWEVER....that being sad lol....questions like the topic is kind of a loaded question because people like who they like and sometimes gets trashed for their preferences.

I've been here for over 4 yrs and have seen threads like this all the time (this is actually tame compared to how they went when I first started)

Plain and simple...be happy with you. What you aren't happy with, work on fixing it (whether it's mental, physical, emotional, etc) but always know that there is someone out there that likes each of us. Let it confidence shine through and rock it out girl

I don't think it matters if you are a plus size or an average size; the media still portrays that these skinny anorexic women are beautiful and more desirable. I have suffered from eating disorders myself as men have made me feel horrible about my weight. I still struggle with food even now because of being made to feel like crap. The only men that haven't attacked me because of my weight are my male friends who accept me just as I am; its been the guys that I dated that made me feel overwieght. I do blame the media for this way of thinking as it not only affects the way men think but also women.

14 years ago I would have answered this much differently. Back then, I was in my late teens, and to me, you had to have a super model body PERIOD. Since then, I have found that it's more in who the person is and what they represent, not their size. I'm divorced from a woman who weighs less than 100 lbs. soaking wet. (From my shallow model chasing days) She was NOOOOO model.. FYI

I have since met quite a few women that would not have qualified as models, but have definitely gained my interest. I will say though, For me, I'm an active, outdoors, motivated, always on the go kind of person, and I want a woman who I can share those things with. Hiking, Canoeing, Biking etc. And I know that women over 220 lbs can do such things, I've had friends and Family members join me on some of these activities, and they aren't skinny. But you also have to have self-esteem and confidence. Don't worry what anyone else thinks. Just do what makes you happy.