In your dreams baby!

I dont need a pimp!

Anyone tries to get crazy with me, will end up with their face on a milk carton, with, "a reward for information leading to the disappearance of".

Dear Luvtorockenrollerby;

My new girlfriend is cheating on me.
Every night we play a few games of strip cribbage, and she always wins. I know she's got to be stashing cards somewhere. I mean Penn and Teller couldn't pull cards like she does.
What should I do?

ONLINE LIVE with Mowtown...ty for the call.............

Hmmmmmmmm,

this one is kinda tricky,

because to be quite honest,

I have never played strip cabbage.


It does sound like a good way,

to have some kinky fun though.

Lose a hand, lose a leaf,

until someones just holding a stem.

Wooo Hooo!

How naughty.

I think im gonna play that tonight by myself,

and when I get down to the stem,

im gonna it, and then make soup,

and serve it to my friends.

NOW THATS ORIGINAL!











And taking YOUR calls LIVE and ONLINE.......................

Hello Dr. Luv.., I was listening in on your talk show the other night and I do believe that I over heard you say something about you were serving f..king soup. Dr. Luv is this something new on your Thursday night talk show ?

ONLINE LIVE with Alookat.........ty for calling.........



I had,

a tooth pulled,

last week.



Now,

I have,

a dry socket.



Vicodins,

are very good!

Especially,

when you take,

4 at a time!












And taking YOUR calls LIVE and ONLINE.............................

Cribage, CRIBAGE, criBage,

Not cabbage!!!!!!!!


But I do have a big slab of corny beef cooking if you're hungry.

Dr Luv,

My middle leg is making me walk funny. Any ideas? And no, I'm not dreaming.

ONLINE LIVE with Mowtown.....ty for calling.................

Im sorry!

Cribage!

So you and your girlfriend,

are playing strip cribage,

and you think shes cheating.


First,

let me ask you this?

How do you,

both get inside of a crib?

Now a playpen,

I could understand,

kinda.

It would be a tight fit,

but if its a large playpen,

you could do it.



But im not seeing how,

both of you,

are fitting into a crib.



Is it like a giant crib?

Made for abnormal like,

"elephant man" babies,

with really large heads?

Or tall cribs,

made for long, future basketball playing,

babies??


Plus,

How can she possibly be cheating,

on a game your playing,

when your both stuffed into a crib?

Wouldnt you be a little too close to her,

for her to cheat,

and be able to see her do it.



I suggest the two of you find a more adult game.


























And taking YOUR calls LIVE.........................................

ONLINE LIVE with Hippie....ty for the call.................


No problem.

Just come down,

to the studio,

and I have a friend,

right here,

right now,

that can fix that!

Hes very,

very skilled,

with human bodies!







Fire it up Tex,

we got a visitor coming!

:

OMG, HE on this thread!!!!

That very rarely happens on this thread.

Thank you, Alookat!

Its good to know im not the only one laughing at this crazy chit!

Dr Luv,

If I saved up my belly button lint into a huge ball and gave it to her would she like me?

ONLINE LIVE with Hippie........ty for the call...............

Probably not.

But she could crochet you,

a spiffy hat,

and matching scarf and mittens.




























And taking YOUR calls LIVE and ONLINE.............................

And now a word from our sponsors.......................................

Mom, its just like some days, I just dont feel TOTALLY FRESH, you know, down there.



Its o.k. honey, ya smellin a little fishy, huh?



Yeah mom, like rotten tuna.


Whoaaaaaaaaaaa, you need some of this....and quick....





"SUMMERS EVE".

MAKES YOU FEEL FRESH, YOU KNOW, DOWN THERE!





Oh yeahhhhh, ive heard of that mom, it makes you smell "fresh as a spring daisy, on a country lane, right?



I dont know bout all that, but at least you wont smell like, low tide at "Venice Beach", or a dumpster, at a "Long John Silvers!!".



Wow! Thanks mom!





"SUMMERS EVE".

MIGHT NOT MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE A SPRING DAISY, ON A COUNTRY LANE,

BUT AT LEAST, YOU WONT SMELL LIKE, ROTTEN TUNA!





*not available in Bum Phuck Egypt*

Dear Luvtorockenrollerby;

My girlfriend always smells flowery,

uh, you know, down there,

between her feets and her elbows.

I am allergic to pollen.

So when we are, uh, pollinating

I sneeze a lot.

How can I get her to smell like a nice

steak sandwich or something?

ONLINE LIVE with Mowtown....ty for your call..................

I would say,

try putting your meat,

between her legs,

and that should,

change her smell,

entirely.













And taking YOUR calls LIVE and ONLINE............................

Dear Luvtorockenrollerby this just made my day