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| Topic: Should men be "manly"? | |
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While I don't intentionally and specifically go for "manly" men, guys who can actually do things tend to grab and hold my attention better. Farmers, construction types, etc. Someone who is willing to get down and dirty, and isn't lazy about it. So I guess the laziness is probably the bigger issue for me. The more feminine men really don't hold me for long, because they're usually squeamish about things.
That said, my DAD made sure I was able to do things, including basic upkeep in the house. I have my own power tools, do basic construction, plumbing, and electrical stuff and can change the car tires, basics there, and oil. It's a heck of a lot cheaper to do it oneself! Now, I prefer to hire someone out for plumbing and electric. And if my brother happens to be changing mom's oil on her car, I'll ask nicely and he'll usually do my car. LOL! |
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I believe everyone has a strong sense in one thing or another. Just because a man can not do something..doesn't mean he isn't a man. I being a single gal..have learned to fix a lot of things that normally a guy would be doing.
I seen men who can cook better than myself or who iron their clothes and I refuse to iron anything! Some men should not be in a kitchen but on the same token that applies to some women. People are just that. People. |
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In some cultures and belief systems, they are considered masculine traits. That's why the term "traditional" is an apt description, IMO. What is the culture and belief system that you feel is being discussed here that says those traits are masculine? For one, it describes Yang energy within the context of Yin and Yang. As another, it also represents the machismo/feminismo inherent in traditional Spanish cultures. It is most visible in traditional Spanish dances like Flamenco where the male dancer tends to be much more rigid and forceful compared to the female dancer who is more fluid. So you think the person who said those traits were masculine were referring to those cultures? |
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I think men should be human. They are a lot easier to deal with that way.
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If you're married to the guy then it's too late to want a different kind of man, you knew who he was when you married him.
I know how to change a tire / change oil in my car, I can fix things around the house but I hate plumbing and dare not touch anything electrical. I work more with my mind than my hands, my job and the money I make revolves around the computer, email, instant messaging, and taking clients out to get them shnockered at the bar. If you want to marry a construction worker, then marry a construction worker. |
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A manly man is a man who has a really huge johnson motor on his boat to get him to some nice bass quicker.  I thought you were just going to say a really huge johnson - glad I read that twice
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Its not the 'man' who makes contact/asks for date, but the one with 'masculine energy'. So being confident, assertive, and knowing what you want is masculine?
Yes. Surely you realise that women have these traits, so it is not because they are a man, but their comfort with using masculine energy. It doesnt mean a woman is mannish, or butch, just that she is comfortable with masculine energy. Just like nurturing is feminine energy. You realise that there are men who are quite comfortable with using feminine energy, and nurture their children for example. And some women, alternatively, are not. Really? So it isn't feminine to know what you want or be confident about yourself? I have to believe that not everyone thinks that way. I have a hard time believing that it is not masculine to nurture your children. Maybe I'm just lucky but I know a lot of really good dads out there.... |
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Edited by
actionlynx
on
Tue 01/10/12 07:13 PM
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So you think the person who said those traits were masculine were referring to those cultures? I never said that. Although I did point out to her that her explanation did fit the concept of Yin and Yang, though she may not have realized it at the time. The important thing to remember about Yin and Yang is that it is about balancing opposing aspects, and that can be accomplished a myriad of ways, both internally and externally. All people are considered to have both Yin and Yang energy. Men are generally considered to have more Yang than Yin, though the ratio may be different from man to man. The same is true of women, who are considered to have more Yin than Yang. But the ratio is not static. It can change throughout a person's life, much like Testosterone and Estrogen can fluctuate throughout our lives. |
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Its not the 'man' who makes contact/asks for date, but the one with 'masculine energy'. So being confident, assertive, and knowing what you want is masculine?
Yes. Surely you realise that women have these traits, so it is not because they are a man, but their comfort with using masculine energy. It doesnt mean a woman is mannish, or butch, just that she is comfortable with masculine energy. Just like nurturing is feminine energy. You realise that there are men who are quite comfortable with using feminine energy, and nurture their children for example. And some women, alternatively, are not. Really? So it isn't feminine to know what you want or be confident about yourself? I have to believe that not everyone thinks that way. I have a hard time believing that it is not masculine to nurture your children. Maybe I'm just lucky but I know a lot of really good dads out there.... I actually think that X chromosome influences nurturing, and men have it but women have twice as much, so tend to be more 'naturally' and instinctively nurturing |
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Its not the 'man' who makes contact/asks for date, but the one with 'masculine energy'. So being confident, assertive, and knowing what you want is masculine?
Yes. Surely you realise that women have these traits, so it is not because they are a man, but their comfort with using masculine energy. It doesnt mean a woman is mannish, or butch, just that she is comfortable with masculine energy. Just like nurturing is feminine energy. You realise that there are men who are quite comfortable with using feminine energy, and nurture their children for example. And some women, alternatively, are not. Really? So it isn't feminine to know what you want or be confident about yourself? I have to believe that not everyone thinks that way. Im talking about the behavior rather than the feelings. Confident is not what I referred to. I accepted the whole package which included 'assertive'...I recognised it as the 'hunter' behavior he described. Using feminine energy when you are a man is not an insult Using masculine energy when you are a woman is not an insult We all use both unless theres something wrong. I'm not saying they're insults at all. But when you explain it this way, I just don't agree. I don't think you have to be masculine to be confident, assertive or know what you want. I don't think you have to be feminine to be nurturing. You're just stereotyping. |
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So you think the person who said those traits were masculine were referring to those cultures? I never said that. Although I did point out to her that her explanation did fit the concept of Yin and Yang, though she may not have realized it at the time. The important thing to remember about Yin and Yang is that it is about balancing opposing aspects, and that can be accomplished a myriad of ways, both internally and externally. All people are considered to have both Yin and Yang energy. Men are generally considered to have more Yang than Yin, though the ratio may be different from man to man. The same is true of women, who are considered to have more Yin than Yang. But the ratio is not static. It can change throughout a person's life, much like Testosterone and Estrogen can fluctuate throughout our lives. Ok, but I was asking what was discussed in this thread that specifically had to do with other cultures. Your response didn't make a lot of sense, as I didn't see anyone referring the cultures you referenced. |
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Its not the 'man' who makes contact/asks for date, but the one with 'masculine energy'. So being confident, assertive, and knowing what you want is masculine?
Yes. Surely you realise that women have these traits, so it is not because they are a man, but their comfort with using masculine energy. It doesnt mean a woman is mannish, or butch, just that she is comfortable with masculine energy. Just like nurturing is feminine energy. You realise that there are men who are quite comfortable with using feminine energy, and nurture their children for example. And some women, alternatively, are not. Really? So it isn't feminine to know what you want or be confident about yourself? I have to believe that not everyone thinks that way. I have a hard time believing that it is not masculine to nurture your children. Maybe I'm just lucky but I know a lot of really good dads out there.... I actually think that X chromosome influences nurturing, and men have it but women have twice as much, so tend to be more 'naturally' and instinctively nurturing That just doesn't support what I know to be true. I think men are equally good nurturers - adn TBH - nuthin's gonna change my mind on that one just call me a stubborn biotch 
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I think men are equally good nurturers - adn TBH - nuthin's gonna change my mind on that one just call me a stubborn biotch
Great....now quit flapping your lips and go pour my bubble bath...and make it snappy. Chop chop. hehehehehehehehe |
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So you think the person who said those traits were masculine were referring to those cultures? I never said that. Although I did point out to her that her explanation did fit the concept of Yin and Yang, though she may not have realized it at the time. The important thing to remember about Yin and Yang is that it is about balancing opposing aspects, and that can be accomplished a myriad of ways, both internally and externally. All people are considered to have both Yin and Yang energy. Men are generally considered to have more Yang than Yin, though the ratio may be different from man to man. The same is true of women, who are considered to have more Yin than Yang. But the ratio is not static. It can change throughout a person's life, much like Testosterone and Estrogen can fluctuate throughout our lives. Ok, but I was asking what was discussed in this thread that specifically had to do with other cultures. Your response didn't make a lot of sense, as I didn't see anyone referring the cultures you referenced. Honestly, Singmesweet, I'm not trying to offend you, but sometimes you over-analyze things way too much. I was just pointing out that what someone described as masculine qualities is actually how some parts of the world define masculinity. So yes, there are people who do believe that confidence, assertiveness, and getting what one wants are masculine traits, not feminine ones. Therefore, women who possess those traits will be regarded as a bit too manly in some countries. In some parts of the world, women who demonstrate a strong will may be punished severely by the men in their families. It happens in India, throughout many regions of South America, in parts of Africa, and many other places. In many Asian cultures, women are expected to be demure and to serve their men. It has long been more acceptable for men to be unfaithful than it is for women, for it was regarded as a fundamental difference in nature between the two genders. Look at Sharia Law in some Muslim regions, and how they will punish by stoning to death a 14 yr old girl for allowing herself to be raped. Some parts of the world still have some backward thoughts concerning gender roles. It has only been in recent decades that women in such countries have begun to rebel and reject these traditional ideas. Talk to women from the Philippines. You'll find there is a split in opinion concerning traditional values, yet the majority of young women still cling to the tradition of abstinence prior to marriage. However, whereas their mothers and grandmothers refused to leave an abusive or cheating husband, many younger women will no longer put up with such behavior from a man. So, you are reading too much into what I wrote. And sadly, when you do something like this you paint a false picture of another person for anyone who enters the thread to see. That is part of the reason why some people become upset with the questions you pose. You sometimes make a false assumption, and don't even seem to realize you've done so until someone points it out to you. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Tue 01/10/12 08:01 PM
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Honestly, Singmesweet, I'm not trying to offend you, but sometimes you over-analyze things way too much. This? From the king of over-analyzing?
Thanks for the laugh! So, you are reading too much into what I wrote.
And sadly, when you do something like this you paint a false picture of another person for anyone who enters the thread to see. That is part of the reason why some people become upset with the questions you pose. You sometimes make a false assumption, and don't even seem to realize you've done so until someone points it out to you. I ask questions to find out more about what someone says, especially when they don't make sense. I have explained this to you before. More than once. I do understand that some people don't like to be questioned, or get offended by it. But, that's me. I'm not going to change just because it bothers someone. But yes, I'm well aware that some have issues with it. I'm not reading too much into what you've said. I commented on it based on what I had said already. That's all. It does seem that you are reading too much into my response, though. If someone believes I'm too masculine for being confident or knowing what I want, that's fine. It's not going to change who I am. So no, I'm not offended. |
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I think men are equally good nurturers - adn TBH - nuthin's gonna change my mind on that one just call me a stubborn biotch
Great....now quit flapping your lips and go pour my bubble bath...and make it snappy. Chop chop. hehehehehehehehe  What - there's a whole HELLUVA lotta gum flappin' on here but, hey, it ain't me babe...
bubblebath = heck ya! jump in OK OK soufie too 
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So you think the person who said those traits were masculine were referring to those cultures? I never said that. Although I did point out to her that her explanation did fit the concept of Yin and Yang, though she may not have realized it at the time. The important thing to remember about Yin and Yang is that it is about balancing opposing aspects, and that can be accomplished a myriad of ways, both internally and externally. All people are considered to have both Yin and Yang energy. Men are generally considered to have more Yang than Yin, though the ratio may be different from man to man. The same is true of women, who are considered to have more Yin than Yang. But the ratio is not static. It can change throughout a person's life, much like Testosterone and Estrogen can fluctuate throughout our lives. Ok, but I was asking what was discussed in this thread that specifically had to do with other cultures. Your response didn't make a lot of sense, as I didn't see anyone referring the cultures you referenced. Honestly, Singmesweet, I'm not trying to offend you, but sometimes you over-analyze things way too much. I was just pointing out that what someone described as masculine qualities is actually how some parts of the world define masculinity. So yes, there are people who do believe that confidence, assertiveness, and getting what one wants are masculine traits, not feminine ones. Therefore, women who possess those traits will be regarded as a bit too manly in some countries. In some parts of the world, women who demonstrate a strong will may be punished severely by the men in their families. It happens in India, throughout many regions of South America, in parts of Africa, and many other places. In many Asian cultures, women are expected to be demure and to serve their men. It has long been more acceptable for men to be unfaithful than it is for women, for it was regarded as a fundamental difference in nature between the two genders. Look at Sharia Law in some Muslim regions, and how they will punish by stoning to death a 14 yr old girl for allowing herself to be raped. Some parts of the world still have some backward thoughts concerning gender roles. It has only been in recent decades that women in such countries have begun to rebel and reject these traditional ideas. Talk to women from the Philippines. You'll find there is a split in opinion concerning traditional values, yet the majority of young women still cling to the tradition of abstinence prior to marriage. However, whereas their mothers and grandmothers refused to leave an abusive or cheating husband, many younger women will no longer put up with such behavior from a man. So, you are reading too much into what I wrote. And sadly, when you do something like this you paint a false picture of another person for anyone who enters the thread to see. That is part of the reason why some people become upset with the questions you pose. You sometimes make a false assumption, and don't even seem to realize you've done so until someone points it out to you. AL, I commend your patience and tact. |
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Honestly, Singmesweet, I'm not trying to offend you, but sometimes you over-analyze things way too much. This? From the king of over-analyzing?
Thanks for the laugh! So, you are reading too much into what I wrote.
And sadly, when you do something like this you paint a false picture of another person for anyone who enters the thread to see. That is part of the reason why some people become upset with the questions you pose. You sometimes make a false assumption, and don't even seem to realize you've done so until someone points it out to you. I ask questions to find out more about what someone says, especially when they don't make sense. I have explained this to you before. More than once. I do understand that some people don't like to be questioned, or get offended by it. But, that's me. I'm not going to change just because it bothers someone. But yes, I'm well aware that some have issues with it. I'm not reading too much into what you've said. I commented on it based on what I had said already. That's all. It does seem that you are reading too much into my response, though. If someone believes I'm too masculine for being confident or knowing what I want, that's fine. It's not going to change who I am. So no, I'm not offended. And thank you for taking a jab at me when I did not take a jab at you. 
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