If my years of experience with parenting kids is any indicaton you are probably going to have to have to work this out for yourself OP.

By fifteen a kid may have some idea of which gender they are attracted to primarily but it really has very little to do with how he is "Mothered" or as I think you are really raking yourself over the coals not "Fathered". Even in extream cases of sexual or chronic psychological violence it does not set, or reset, gender identification.

At fifteen they are still in the "experimenting" stage. With the current popularity of bisexuality, even promotion of it in some circles, kids do try stuff.

My guess is you have a 15 year old who is having fun yanking his siter's chain mimicing them rather than being "Gay", maybe even yours, trying to get you to pay for even more macho activities (Danceing/Karate is something he may or may not be outgrowing). Or letting him hang out with his Dad who as an attorney may have more financial resources and or less stringent rules just to get custody changed if only long enough to bust your chops.

If your son has spent years hanging out and learning as a younger child to deal with sisters he is probably quite good at "friending" females but not quite developed or old enough to compete for girl friends. Freshmen males are the bottom of the social pecking oder in Highschool. Depending how much older his sisters are it is not like he is going to be anything but dismissed by their friends and maybe harrassed by their boyfriend's so he may want to make them paranoid to come around. One thing that many ultra straight teens fear is even the suggestion of "gayness" so it is the perfect submissive aggressive behavior. Not necessarily a bad thing if "little" brother knows the sisters are dealing with players. Dangerous solution that should be clearly discouraged since it will hurt their sibling relationship but you kind of have to let them work that out for themselves without taking sides.

Depending on where he is in school it is likely that he has to deal with bullying if he is Gay or Straight so that is always a good topic to talk to him about coping with. Accuseing him of being gay and or telling to "butch up" to be safe is pretty moot at 15 and can definitely lead to a kid who will not talk to you if he is, or is not, gay because you have just abandoned the real situation he has to deal with every day. Espcially if he is well spoken or a dancer; especially a minority that values macho or thug toughness. Sad since being a dancer requires tremendous athleticism and has very little more to do with Gender orientation than say being a nurse, sailor, or any other number of chosen interst that are sometimes assigned gender orientations.

The reality is at 15 your son probably would rathe have his toenails ripped out than talk about sexuality with his Mom, or his Dad . My guess is he has been sexually active at some level or another and just been smart enough to keep you oblivious of it. An excellent reason to make sure he is seeing a pediatrician several times a year privately so he has plenty of opportunities for private information about the real risks of sex with either gender.

But I am going to remind you if your son has friends, teachers, activities, church, even media in his life he is getting lots of input as to what is manly behavior and he will define that for himself not you, or dad , sister's, or even his friends.

One way to sort through some of your own feelings and fears about if your child is possibly Gay is to contact the National Gay & Lesbian Bisexual Task Force and read some of their materials for Parents. Virginia Hilton wrote and excellent book for parents that addresses many of the issues of parenting a gay child includeing religion, sibling relationships, and marital or coparenting issues, and long term health and family issues such as grandparenting. I think it will help you sort out the myths form the balogne and when you have ti figured out it won't seem like that big a deal what ever he decides.

While I don't suggest demanding your child declare his orientation I do think it is critical to talk to your child about the hysteria that does still exist, this thread certainly shows how vehament people can get about this subject, and continuously make it clear that you will love them regardless of who they chose for relationships and you are ready to discuss any subject related to relationships if he wants to.

And has people have said this is such a non-issues when it comes to some of the really terrible problems you could be facing that I hope you keep it in perspective regardless how it works out.

Just for the people who don't know what they ar talking about. While the numbers are not good for any teen population straight teens are having a higher rate of unprotected sex statisticlly than Gay teens and they are less likely to seek treatment if they need it.

Im glad its helping. I cried all night when I first suspected, and another night when I first found out (it was a man nearly twice his age who first got 'involved' with him when he went to college, and there was nothing I could do from across the country).

I can definitely relate to what you may feel.

You have that backwards. The more non-conformists who conform to society, the more the norm shifts and the social dynamic becomes more dynamic. In other words, the non-conformists must conform before society will accept them.



I'm Irish, not Jewish. By birth at least. However, when the jack booted thugs come for the Jews again, I will stand up and proclaim myself a Jew. Anyways, I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm Jewish, but I'll accept blame, because I love the Jews so passionately.

You remember how in the south that blacks were forced to ride at the back of the bus and use "colored only" water fountains? Those were laws created by the Government (okay, Democrats, but let's not get political up in here). If business owners had wanted to do those things, then the laws wouldn't have been necessary. I say this for this reason: You can still be passed over for a loan or job or receive poor service due to your race, just not overtly. I would much rather see a sign that reads "No Blacks Allowed" on a restaurant, so I knew not to eat there, than to have black people treated poorly by owners and staff while I continue to frequent their establishment. And I also feel that if someone doesn't like people of another race or sex or religion, they shouldn't be forced to interact with them. The Constitution gives us freedom of association, which also means we have freedom of disassociation. If some numbskull doesn't want to be around black women or provide housing or services to them, then what right does the Government have to force that association? Basically, the racist / sexist / religious bigot has had to lose freedom, so that some minority group could be ensured that the racist / sexist / bigot has to take their money. This is in essence, a form of slavery. Where one individual is forced to provide services against his or her will.

Are people really saying that its okay to discriminate against people due to the color of their skin and call it a "right" to do so?????????

I find it hard to believe the level of ignorance is that high.


Please tell me that I misread some posts.

Is it really okay with you to go back to the days of a "white" drinking fountain and a "white" school????????

I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help!

Are people really saying that its okay to discriminate against people due to the color of their skin and call it a "right" to do so?????????

I find it hard to believe the level of ignorance is that high.


Please tell me that I misread some posts.

Are people really saying that its okay to discriminate against people due to the color of their skin and call it a "right" to do so?????????

I find it hard to believe the level of ignorance is that high.


Please tell me that I misread some posts.

I didn't say it was "okay", but it is a right granted by the Constitution. Namely the 1st and 5th Amendments.

1) Freedom of Association is also Freedom of Disassociation.
2) Compelling behavior by force is slavery.
3) Forcing someone to hire people or rent or sell because of "civil rights" implies that the Government has a stronger claim on our property (businesses, homes, land) than the actual owners do.

Is there any doubt that "White Only" establishments would quickly die out if they did spring up? Contrary to the narrative presented by the leftists, racism is on it's death bed. I doubt that many racist whites would even consider going to a "White Only" establishment.

What the Civil Rights laws have done is force racism into the underground. That restaurant you love might be owned by rabid racists, but you have no way of knowing. A "Whites Only" sign would steer consumers away from businesses, but as it is, whites might frequent a racist establishment without any idea in the world. Would you want to eat in a restaurant where you weren't welcome? I know I wouldn't. Not only wouldn't I want to give the racists money, but I would be afraid they would spit in my food or do something even more disgusting to it.

the draw is that an establishment is more than one person and cant be so accurately described as 'racist' in itself

owners can be racist, only hire racist employees, and choose to only serve racist people, but the fact that a government funded by racist AND non racist people would not be obliged to provide them the 'welfare' and police and fire,,,etc,,, support that all taxes contribute to,,,

Racists also pay taxes, they are due equal protection under the law.

I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help!

yes, and they still have the protection, to be racist, but not to Discriminate in accepting monies in business when the funds and assistance they receive come from all varieties of taxpayers,,


if they are truly THAT racist, they will decline any government funds,,,

Are people really saying that its okay to discriminate against people due to the color of their skin and call it a "right" to do so?????????

I find it hard to believe the level of ignorance is that high.


Please tell me that I misread some posts.