I dont believe in a 'genetic' predisposition to sexuality other than the human preservation code which drives us to mate which is heterosexual. I do believe there are prebirth conditions which may somehow cause that drive to be deficient, allowing environment to have more of an influence over it.

Environment and sexual orientation is research into possible environmental influences on the development of human sexual orientation. Some researchers distinguish environmental influences from hormonal influences[1] while others include biological influences such as prenatal hormones as part of environmental influences.[2]

Research has shown that it is a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences,.[3] Research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, but no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.[4] Research suggests it is biological in nature, determined by a complex interplay of genetic factors and the early uterine environment. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles.[4]

Equalling Genetic Predisposition

I read that too.

I have a sister who is gay and to this day it still drives my mom crazy..it goes against everything her religion has taught her.
My mom still swears on her own life that my sister is not gay, just confused, that she just has some unresolved issues (don't we all)
and that she probably needs therapy.

My sister could give a rats *** what society thinks of her. Any pain she has suffered over her gayness, is the way my mother feels about it, the ever present energy of un-acceptance.

What hurts her is being told she is just confused, maybe you should go talk to a shrink, i'm sorry you have to go through this, you were a 'normal' little girl..what happened?

She doesn't want to be fixed, she's not broke. She's actually whole again because she is being true to herself. There is nothing more arrogant and condescending than being told by someone else who and what ya are. Everyone deserves the freedom to be who they are.

..you are wrong to think you have any say in a strangers personal sexual preference (or any preference of a stranger) as long as said stranger isn't boinking anyone that would cause direct affect your life....yes, you are wrong!

My opinion has nothing to do with you, your lifestyle or beliefs.

Someone could be having sex with the sheep in the dark room in the back of the barn every monday night after cheese cake and coffee and I wouldn't care..,.I wouldn't voice my opinion on how wrong it is, it's none of my business as long as it's not my man or my sheep.

I have no right to do that..it would be (don't really use the terms right and wrong, but) 'wrong'

Boy is my face red. All this time I thought you were my sister. Well, if you aren't my sister, it's time to turn on the ol' SpiderCMB charm...How you doin'?

Out of all I said, that's all you addressing? No debating anything? Just a come on? Sorry about your child. I have son with Asperger's and Epilepsy.

I've got to get ready for bed now, but I'll do a detailed reply tomorrow, if you'll write "That SpiderCMB is a tall drink of water".



I'm sorry to hear that, although I do find that I love my son all the more because of his condition. I think that God fills us with extra love we can bestow upon our special children, because He knows that the world will not be kind to them.

If my years of experience with parenting kids is any indicaton you are probably going to have to have to work this out for yourself OP.

By fifteen a kid may have some idea of which gender they are attracted to primarily but it really has very little to do with how he is "Mothered" or as I think you are really raking yourself over the coals not "Fathered". Even in extream cases of sexual or chronic psychological violence it does not set, or reset, gender identification.

At fifteen they are still in the "experimenting" stage. With the current popularity of bisexuality, even promotion of it in some circles, kids do try stuff.

My guess is you have a 15 year old who is having fun yanking his siter's chain mimicing them rather than being "Gay", maybe even yours, trying to get you to pay for even more macho activities (Danceing/Karate is something he may or may not be outgrowing). Or letting him hang out with his Dad who as an attorney may have more financial resources and or less stringent rules just to get custody changed if only long enough to bust your chops.

If your son has spent years hanging out and learning as a younger child to deal with sisters he is probably quite good at "friending" females but not quite developed or old enough to compete for girl friends. Freshmen males are the bottom of the social pecking oder in Highschool. Depending how much older his sisters are it is not like he is going to be anything but dismissed by their friends and maybe harrassed by their boyfriend's so he may want to make them paranoid to come around. One thing that many ultra straight teens fear is even the suggestion of "gayness" so it is the perfect submissive aggressive behavior. Not necessarily a bad thing if "little" brother knows the sisters are dealing with players. Dangerous solution that should be clearly discouraged since it will hurt their sibling relationship but you kind of have to let them work that out for themselves without taking sides.

Depending on where he is in school it is likely that he has to deal with bullying if he is Gay or Straight so that is always a good topic to talk to him about coping with. Accuseing him of being gay and or telling to "butch up" to be safe is pretty moot at 15 and can definitely lead to a kid who will not talk to you if he is, or is not, gay because you have just abandoned the real situation he has to deal with every day. Espcially if he is well spoken or a dancer; especially a minority that values macho or thug toughness. Sad since being a dancer requires tremendous athleticism and has very little more to do with Gender orientation than say being a nurse, sailor, or any other number of chosen interst that are sometimes assigned gender orientations.

The reality is at 15 your son probably would rathe have his toenails ripped out than talk about sexuality with his Mom, or his Dad . My guess is he has been sexually active at some level or another and just been smart enough to keep you oblivious of it. An excellent reason to make sure he is seeing a pediatrician several times a year privately so he has plenty of opportunities for private information about the real risks of sex with either gender.

But I am going to remind you if your son has friends, teachers, activities, church, even media in his life he is getting lots of input as to what is manly behavior and he will define that for himself not you, or dad , sister's, or even his friends.

One way to sort through some of your own feelings and fears about if your child is possibly Gay is to contact the National Gay & Lesbian Bisexual Task Force and read some of their materials for Parents. Virginia Hilton wrote and excellent book for parents that addresses many of the issues of parenting a gay child includeing religion, sibling relationships, and marital or coparenting issues, and long term health and family issues such as grandparenting. I think it will help you sort out the myths form the balogne and when you have ti figured out it won't seem like that big a deal what ever he decides.

While I don't suggest demanding your child declare his orientation I do think it is critical to talk to your child about the hysteria that does still exist, this thread certainly shows how vehament people can get about this subject, and continuously make it clear that you will love them regardless of who they chose for relationships and you are ready to discuss any subject related to relationships if he wants to.

And has people have said this is such a non-issues when it comes to some of the really terrible problems you could be facing that I hope you keep it in perspective regardless how it works out.

Just for the people who don't know what they ar talking about. While the numbers are not good for any teen population straight teens are having a higher rate of unprotected sex statisticlly than Gay teens and they are less likely to seek treatment if they need it.

Im just curious how they would conduct such a statistical study in any reliable way? Do they just ask a random sample of teens and take them at their word?

"Have you tried talking to him about it? "




I did actually, he just plainly said, he just don't want to hang out with them (male classmates), his excuse was, he doesn't want to be friends with kids who were less serious with their studies. I learned to accept that, but not even one male friend was alarming, I saw him twice eating lunch on his own at school, That made me really really sad.

I can clearly relate with you, even at the school bus service stop, kids rarely talk to him, how painful sight was that?

Pardon, I'll continue with my responses later, 'need to go to work I never thought that asking for opinions will be these consuming, I was really drained. Thank you for your time and the wonderful contributors of these thread. That was really informative. You guys are simply the best!

Im glad its helping. I cried all night when I first suspected, and another night when I first found out (it was a man nearly twice his age who first got 'involved' with him when he went to college, and there was nothing I could do from across the country).

I can definitely relate to what you may feel.

I'm glad we agree.



We don't have to, there is a certain elasticity to the social dynamic. There is a world of difference between how a quirky person is treated and how a "strange" person is treated. I would encourage anyone to moderate their behavior to remain this side of "strange", in order to avoid ostracizing themselves.



I posed a question, I did not make a statement.



I don't and it wouldn't.



Okay.



An educated option is still an opinion.



And what did you learn?



That not only contradicts what you posted earlier, but it's counter intuitive. Society is a collective of people who gravitate towards a norm in behavior, it is the responsibility of those who wish to be part of the society to shift their behavior towards the norm, not the responsibility of the society to shift it's norm to suit the individual.



A member of a sub-culture of social outcasts is still an outcast.



Absolutely disgusting. I am repulsed by pandering to any group. Laws and protections should apply equally to all people or they shouldn't exist. Any other arrangement is foul and tyrannical. The Government can only give special benefits to one segment of society by injuring another. It's disgusting and corrupt to it's core.



Awesome.

I do not know how to do that address each issue that way....crazy anyways, SO you will find them under your comments.

You have that backwards. The more non-conformists who conform to society, the more the norm shifts and the social dynamic becomes more dynamic. In other words, the non-conformists must conform before society will accept them.



I'm Irish, not Jewish. By birth at least. However, when the jack booted thugs come for the Jews again, I will stand up and proclaim myself a Jew. Anyways, I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm Jewish, but I'll accept blame, because I love the Jews so passionately.

You remember how in the south that blacks were forced to ride at the back of the bus and use "colored only" water fountains? Those were laws created by the Government (okay, Democrats, but let's not get political up in here). If business owners had wanted to do those things, then the laws wouldn't have been necessary. I say this for this reason: You can still be passed over for a loan or job or receive poor service due to your race, just not overtly. I would much rather see a sign that reads "No Blacks Allowed" on a restaurant, so I knew not to eat there, than to have black people treated poorly by owners and staff while I continue to frequent their establishment. And I also feel that if someone doesn't like people of another race or sex or religion, they shouldn't be forced to interact with them. The Constitution gives us freedom of association, which also means we have freedom of disassociation. If some numbskull doesn't want to be around black women or provide housing or services to them, then what right does the Government have to force that association? Basically, the racist / sexist / religious bigot has had to lose freedom, so that some minority group could be ensured that the racist / sexist / bigot has to take their money. This is in essence, a form of slavery. Where one individual is forced to provide services against his or her will.

We as parents want the best for our children. If we see something that was unusual or not right, we immediately correct them to avoid further damage. I only wish there are other ways for me to at least educate him further and keep him away in any pain and trouble. If you could only see what's in my heart right now. You would clearly understand what I actually mean.

Being raised in a very conservative religious family, it was very difficult to deviate the values away from religion and faith. I wish there were easier ways to raise children that will not go against the commandments of God. I don't want to incorporate religion to the topic I am just trying to explain how religion plays important role in raising and molding our children.

I hope you understand how young he is and mostly, the communities he is in for or basically deals with do not have the maturity and understanding of what is he is experiencing and going through.