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| Topic: I think my son is gay | |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! You said..... "I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as ANY normal grown up man one day." "I don't know what to do."... See him! Take "any" out of your thinking and replace it with "only"........gay or straight, both are normal... There is nothing to do except continue to love, nurture, guide, and support your son ..... 
Thanks, as I mentioned I always do, If any of the parents who were on the same boat as me. How did they approach it. Only thinking if there are ways to treat and or correct it. Treat and correct what??....Is you son getting into trouble? Is he failing in school? Fighting? Drinking? Using drugs? All you have said is he is smart, he is in a dance troupe, doing well in Karate, hangs out with young ladies his age, and thinks about his life and what he wants to do as an adult....He sounds like a great kid to me!!!! |
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Edited by
Ladylid2012
on
Tue 11/29/11 12:50 PM
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected? 
correct strait-ness... 
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Don't push him away. Oh no I don`t. I am just worried that he is still young and don`t want him to be bullied along the way. One of my greatest fears is that some youngsters or students will eventually picked on him and that would lead to my worst nightmare. Hopefully not. |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not Mighty moe is very against gay people, so apparently it has not gone away. My guess is he doesn't think his being straight is a condition that can be treated. Which would be totally true, just as someone being gay isn't a condition that can be treated. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. The only difference is that my son was with three women, where we do so many feminine things at home; dye our hair, paint our nails, shave and so on. When we laugh we cover our mouth, when we sit we close our legs and many feminine touch. I see him doing the things we do, it is not that I want him to be dirty, I just wanted him to act like a man not like us that was so feminine, but I guess that`s only an addition to the point. Just like any common family, every one want a son to be a man not another woman. But if in the end that would be his situation, I have no problem dealing with it, but for now, it was very unwelcoming to act like that, the society and people we are in were so judgmental and conclusive, to add that my greatest fear lies on how his peers, schoolmates and people around him will treat and respect him. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. The only difference is that my son was with three women, where we do so many feminine things at home; dye our hair, paint our nails, shave and so on. When we laugh we cover our mouth, when we sit we close our legs and many feminine touch. I see him doing the things we do, it is not that I want him to be dirty, I just wanted him to act like a man not like us that was so feminine, but I guess that`s only an addition to the point. Just like any common family, every one want a son to be a man not another woman. But if in the end that would be his situation, I have no problem dealing with it, but for now, it was very unwelcoming to act like that, the society and people we are in were so judgmental and conclusive, to add that my greatest fear lies on how his peers, schoolmates and people around him will treat and respect him. Being around females DOES NOT make a guy gay. Kids can be mean, hell, grownups can be mean. My son was called a 'fag' in school and he isn't gay. People can be jerks!! From the posts here, looks like your the only one judging him. Sorry, that's how it appears here. |
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If he was with his father and turned out be like his father would that be a good thing? What was his father like? His father is a good man. He is an accomplished lawyer and I believe he can be a good role model to him. |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. |
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Edited by
Seakolony
on
Tue 11/29/11 01:14 PM
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. The only difference is that my son was with three women, where we do so many feminine things at home; dye our hair, paint our nails, shave and so on. When we laugh we cover our mouth, when we sit we close our legs and many feminine touch. I see him doing the things we do, it is not that I want him to be dirty, I just wanted him to act like a man not like us that was so feminine, but I guess that`s only an addition to the point. Just like any common family, every one want a son to be a man not another woman. But if in the end that would be his situation, I have no problem dealing with it, but for now, it was very unwelcoming to act like that, the society and people we are in were so judgmental and conclusive, to add that my greatest fear lies on how his peers, schoolmates and people around him will treat and respect him. That wouldn't cause a straight guy to be gay. A straight guy will be a straight no matter his environment. A gay guy would still be gay with all the manly ideas, sports, and male bonding around him.The environment doesn't change who you are sexually anymore than it changes your gender. |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. being straight is the natural way, the way nature intended... why would you try to fix something that isn't broke? |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. No, I would never tell anyone that their 'gayness' is a correctable and that there is something wrong with them. I have NO right to do that to others! |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not Mighty moe is very against gay people, so apparently it has not gone away. My guess is he doesn't think his being straight is a condition that can be treated. Which would be totally true, just as someone being gay isn't a condition that can be treated. your just being ridicules now...
i take it you go get your tv fixed when it is not broke? |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. No, I would never tell anyone that their 'gayness' is a correctable and that there is something wrong with them. I have NO right to do that to others! but you have a right to tell me how wrong i am? hypocrite.. |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. being straight is the natural way, the way nature intended... why would you try to fix something that isn't broke? Natural for YOU!! For YOU..does not mean for everyone. What is so ****ing complicated about that? |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. No, I would never tell anyone that their 'gayness' is a correctable and that there is something wrong with them. I have NO right to do that to others! but you have a right to tell me how wrong i am? hypocrite.. i didn't say anything about you being 'wrong' |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. being straight is the natural way, the way nature intended... why would you try to fix something that isn't broke? Natural for YOU!! For YOU..does not mean for everyone. What is so ****ing complicated about that? i'm sorry you don't understand how nature works, maybe someone will explain it to you someday... |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. No, I would never tell anyone that their 'gayness' is a correctable and that there is something wrong with them. I have NO right to do that to others! but you have a right to tell me how wrong i am? hypocrite.. i didn't say anything about you being 'wrong' yes you have, more than once...and in not so many words, your doing it again now... |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. Thank you, I always do. I am still hoping if there are still other ways for me to address and if possible avert his condition. avert his condition stop his 'gayness' huh Your input were much appreciated really. I was just wondering if there were parents with the same situation, on how they address them and accept things as they were, to gather additional info. He is just 15, it is not that I wanted to stop him for being gay. My worry is on how his peers accept his condition. What was alarming was that his male friends stop calling for few months now. |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?
correct strait-ness...
i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. being straight is the natural way, the way nature intended... why would you try to fix something that isn't broke? Natural for YOU!! For YOU..does not mean for everyone. What is so ****ing complicated about that? i'm sorry you don't understand how nature works, maybe someone will explain it to you someday... Thanks but NO thanks!! 
Been inside the head of haters before... Ugly place |
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I lost both of my children to auto accidents...both were in their 20's all I can say is love them while they are with you......I miss mine so damn much!!!!! sorry to hear that bonne, thank you for sharing. |
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