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| Topic: Women asking men out - question for the men | |
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You dont need to agree with her. that has nothing to do with it. She doesnt have to feel the same way as you. Its her prerogative. No need to tell me who I should or should not agree with  . I know I don't need to agree with everyone. If you don't agree with her, that's your choice. I didn't really see any name calling, unless you were talking about childish. I read it as calling the behavior childish. But, who knows. Great then you can recognise her choice not to agree with you too, and no need to call her names for disagreeing with you either then, yes? I have not called anyone names. Well, girl what the heck are you waiting for? Call me a name so I can disagree with you unless the name you call me fits?  
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A woman asked me out and bought me a root beer. I am surprised we aren't married, yet.
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Mon 11/07/11 01:52 PM
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I asked Stephen this question,in response to these threads.... 'Would you have preferred to have asked me out, or for a walk, or whatever, than me having done the asking?' 'Was it emasculating to have me ask you, and to let you know how I was feeling about you?' To the first question, his response was...' No, it was refreshing, to have a confident, comfortable in her own skin woman, share her feelings, without any attachment to the answer. I felt quite relieved to know how you felt, as I could then share with you how I was feeling, for you.' he went on to say...'At our age Lee, (him,53 and me, 47)...we have out grown all the games attached to courting, and don't need a heap of confusing contradictory signals, to express what it is we want. Imagine taking the whole game playing behaviours of courting into the intimacy part of a relationship, how quickly it would unravel.' he laughed at my second question, and responded with...'Emasculating? Remember I am a Leo, with a Scorpio moon...my masculinity does not evolve around a woman playing fair maiden, if anything, I was flattered, and pleased with your confidence, I felt MORE male.' I wonder if other men, feel a similar thing to Stephen....? Thanks for asking him! I like hearing mens' opinions on this subject. There are no wrong answers on this subject. But for myself, it's nice to hear that people are getting away from the way things used to be and not playing so many games anymore. Being straight forward, whether man or woman, is usually appreciated. Congrats on the new grandbaby . I like this thread....it is informative, for both men and women, and sharing dialogue, opinions, helps us learn more...(or in some cases less   )...of how people see the whole dating thing. I knew I wanted to know more of Stephen, I knew I was drawn to him...I didn't know if it was reciprocal...unless I asked HIM...I still don't assume...and hope I never do...he is away for a few days, so these questions were posed over the phone. I also asked him, prior to him leaving, to reflect over the past six months and really look at his life he is making here, and to ask himself, is it (and I) still of his choosing, if it has become obligation, or habit..? I try hard to not take him, or 'us', for granted...everyday is a new day, with new choices...for both of us. This may not fit anyone else, but I know for ME it is what I require. (And Lara Lee is the most amazing miracle in the whole world, and the most beautiful baby ever born!! ..but then I am a blind biased granny)
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Mon 11/07/11 01:54 PM
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A woman asked me out and bought me a root beer. I am surprised we aren't married, yet. I could do better; I would buy you a rootbeer and hamburger but it would be from A & W. 
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I have had a guy stutter and offer to buy me something and I will say, "Are you trying to ask me out?" Does that count as asking the guy out?
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The amount of times I have been asked. l reject all offers. Only time I accepted was when I was asked if I would date her friend. And that went no where I must have broken many hearts :) Oh, you nasty heart breaker. When I asked guys out; they were shocked but flattered. Who me?
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The amount of times I have been asked. l reject all offers. Only time I accepted was when I was asked if I would date her friend. And that went no where I must have broken many hearts :) Oh, you nasty heart breaker. When I asked guys out; they were shocked but flattered. Who me? Yes; you bad boy. Guess I won't ask you out as you would break my heart; well thats if I had one. 
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Edited by
RainbowTrout
on
Mon 11/07/11 02:22 PM
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A woman asked me out and bought me a root beer. I am surprised we aren't married, yet. I could do better; I would buy you a rootbeer and hamburger but it would be from A & W. Oh. Wow. I just love A & W hamburgers. You should have saw me when I used to be the great root bear. I lasted almost five minutes taking orders. You want a Papa burger with onions, pickles, mayonnaise and hold the meat? Listen, lady, I just got two hands and one of them is flipping burgers and the other one is letting the fries down. Where am I supposed to hold the meat? I am almost made it through the first order and the next thing I know I am the new great root bear doing security in the parking lot. It was in the hottest part of the summer, too. They gave me this pointed stick to pick up trash. But the kids just loved me. "Look, mommy, its the great root bear." I will never forget wearing that bear suit.
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its been a great pleasure to be here
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i say if your interested, let the guy know...i never know what a woman wants, unless she tells me...i like women that are direct, because most men are not mind readers, and being direct will eliminate a lot of confusion.  Most guys are clueless. You have to slap them and say: "Hey you...yeah you...ask me out already!"  wahooo! a woman that gets it!!!!  MOE!!!!!! Will you have coffee with me tomorrow??!!??..........Plaaaaaaaleeeezzzzzzz!!??? 
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A woman asked me out and bought me a root beer. I am surprised we aren't married, yet. I could do better; I would buy you a rootbeer and hamburger but it would be from A & W. Oh. Wow. I just love A & W hamburgers. You should have saw me when I used to be the great root bear. I lasted almost five minutes taking orders. You want a Papa burger with onions, pickles, mayonnaise and hold the meat? Listen, lady, I just got two hands and one of them is flipping burgers and the other one is letting the fries down. Where am I supposed to hold the meat? I am almost made it through the first order and the next thing I know I am the new great root bear doing security in the parking lot. It was in the hottest part of the summer, too. They gave me this pointed stick to pick up trash. But the kids just loved me. "Look, mommy, its the great root bear." I will never forget wearing that bear suit. I can play the A & W song on my clarinet but I love thier chicken. Yum. So what ever happend to the lady that bought you the rootbeer? Didn't she like A & W?
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She is one of my bosses at work. She is a new nurse at the home. She knows I go to AA and has this alcohol problem. My job was make sure she stayed sober. She doesn't want to lose her license or her kids. They are both important to her. But she really loves to party. It is the old story. Boy meets girl. Girl gets pregnant. Boy meets new girl. Boy takes off. Girl raises kids. Girl learns how to be super girl. Super girl burns candle at both ends and in the middle. Super girl stresses out. Super girl parties. Super girl gets great job with impossible conditions and expectations asked of her. My job is to see Super girl doesn't go postal. Look up in the sky. Its, Its...Hell, if I know what it is?
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turn on an a compliment doesnt mean yes but still love to be asked.
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turn on an a compliment doesnt mean yes but still love to be asked. There's never a guarantee when asking someone out. |
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I feel like if a guy is so easily intimidated or dense he can't pick up on the fact that I am either disinterested, dislike them, or like them enough to at least float an inquirey about a casual date then he is not going to have the perceptiveness to support a relationship.
Since I have NEVER been part of making a guy suffer for making a polite flirtation or invitation I don't see myself as that intimidateing. I work from the premis that an invitation for a date is a compliment and should be refused in such a manner as to reflect that. How hard is it to say Thanks but no thanks so someone can have their dignity? I admidt I have had some fellas mistake being friends as mildly interested but that is rare. But then I am not a big flirt as a general practice. |
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Boy, when I saw this thread tonight it jumped off the page at me. The last couple of days I've been in pity land wondering why I am in the situation I am in and if there are clear answers for me concerning the possibility of being with someone. I won't get into details about my current almost relationship except to say it has me thinking about the big picture.
I don't ask out women. If I was a regular 9 to 5 guy this might be different, I don't know, but the woman who is thinking about being with me would have to be able to see life through glasses that are not the norm and I think most live in the norm and it would just be a waist of their time. One, I don't like the dating scene at all. I would rather a woman just set the stage together with me to talk about what is real life to them and see if we are a pair and pass that weird scene all together. With both of my wives we cut right to the chase and got down to business. I have to say from what I have seen I am so happy that I never had to go through the dating torture. This includes asking someone out. Am I setting myself up for a lonely old age? I have no idea, but I do know that I want the woman who is to be with me to be very happy and content. |
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Boy, when I saw this thread tonight it jumped off the page at me. The last couple of days I've been in pity land wondering why I am in the situation I am in and if there are clear answers for me concerning the possibility of being with someone. I won't get into details about my current almost relationship except to say it has me thinking about the big picture. I don't ask out women. If I was a regular 9 to 5 guy this might be different, I don't know, but the woman who is thinking about being with me would have to be able to see life through glasses that are not the norm and I think most live in the norm and it would just be a waist of their time. One, I don't like the dating scene at all. I would rather a woman just set the stage together with me to talk about what is real life to them and see if we are a pair and pass that weird scene all together. With both of my wives we cut right to the chase and got down to business. I have to say from what I have seen I am so happy that I never had to go through the dating torture. This includes asking someone out. Am I setting myself up for a lonely old age? I have no idea, but I do know that I want the woman who is to be with me to be very happy and content. I dont want to make this spiritual or religious but my personal opinion is that God must have someone absolutely amazing in store for you. Thank goodness I enjoy my own company and I no longer let myself be concerned with whether I will be 'lonely'. ...lol Being partnered isnt the only way to live a happy life,,,andI have come to believe we were not ALL meant to have partners (not saying that is your case at all) |
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Am I setting myself up for a lonely old age? I have no idea, but I do know that I want the woman who is to be with me to be very happy and content. I have to agree with msharmony that being partnered isn't the only way to make one happy. I have several friends that have beem married for years and they feel very lonely in their relationship. Myself; I don't worry about being lonely as there is so much to enjoy in life and I can do it on my own. I do hope you can find what you are seeking though.
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Thanks for these replies. They are very timely for me.
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Boy, when I saw this thread tonight it jumped off the page at me. The last couple of days I've been in pity land wondering why I am in the situation I am in and if there are clear answers for me concerning the possibility of being with someone. I won't get into details about my current almost relationship except to say it has me thinking about the big picture. I don't ask out women. If I was a regular 9 to 5 guy this might be different, I don't know, but the woman who is thinking about being with me would have to be able to see life through glasses that are not the norm and I think most live in the norm and it would just be a waist of their time. One, I don't like the dating scene at all. I would rather a woman just set the stage together with me to talk about what is real life to them and see if we are a pair and pass that weird scene all together. With both of my wives we cut right to the chase and got down to business. I have to say from what I have seen I am so happy that I never had to go through the dating torture. This includes asking someone out. Am I setting myself up for a lonely old age? I have no idea, but I do know that I want the woman who is to be with me to be very happy and content. I dont want to make this spiritual or religious but my personal opinion is that God must have someone absolutely amazing in store for you. Thank goodness I enjoy my own company and I no longer let myself be concerned with whether I will be 'lonely'. ...lol Being partnered isnt the only way to live a happy life,,,andI have come to believe we were not ALL meant to have partners (not saying that is your case at all) I think people who are happy with themselves ultimately attract more positive people into their lives. Not necessarily partners but a mosaic of people. If you go around feeling empty, it's almost like it repels people from you. Nobody wants to feel like they are being sucked into a vacuum in someone's life. |
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