Yikes this kind of thinking makes me crazy! This gal is clearly interested in you or she would not be making and effort to make life pleasant to be around her. Many women want to like someone as a friend first but if you keep discounting your potentional then eventually she will. Assumeing that because she is recieveing attention from younger men that is her only choice or you are quite likely falling on your own sword for no reason. They could be coworkers, extended family, team mates, or just friends that make it safe for her to be in a bar and not be hassled. You express polite attention so it sounds like she is not trying to discourage your interest.

Other women I can not speak for but I do not rate or compare the men I date as competitors are virtually any level.

Certainly not looks. They might have an edge if they are peer age since that is my preference; having someone with similiar experiences but that is not set in stone. Sexy, attractive, interesting comes in many sizes, shapes, and styles. I can't speak for other women but I DON'T date a cutout type. That would be really boreing.

And I certainly do not pick and choose money wise. For one I have my own so in a casual dateing situation I am not even thinking about what money a guy has. I am much more likely to pick someone who appears to live within his means than guys who flash the cash or status and will burn out. True I have to wonder what a guy who is unemployed is doing dateing but as long as he is not putting stress on me to support his play I wouldn't see that as terminal to his dateing status. Especially if a guy is still living from his own means such as savings.

If men would make dateing more casual but invitations a little more sturctured; example Jane I would like to buy you lunch with me at the (specific name) cafe on -----(couple days in the future). Then she knows what she is getting into and you are not assumeing she is available at that last minute. Nine times out of ten if she isn't available she will say thank you and suggest a more workable time if she is interested.

Gheez guys it is just a date not the rest of your life. You can wow her later if it takes off.

I agree! I don;t see the confusion there either. Often I have dated younger only because they are the ones who would MAN up & ask....not because it was a preference. I actually would have preferred (at the time - a few yrs ago before my last ex) to date closer to my age but the men my age I met either were married pervs or simply did not ask. Now, at this point I have no age preference within a few years either way, but I will not longer date any younger guys who are into casual sex OR who I observe behaving in that manner. But I still hang out with them sometimes as buds...so the comment you made about having younger guys to hang out wiht for company or safety is true. If a woman is your friend and makes any effort to talk with you - especially one on one or privately - that is her way of asking u to ask her....or she wouldn't bother.

I hate to say it, but the real bottom line with women asking men out is how the man feels about the woman doing the asking...If she is someone he finds attractive, someone he sees as special, he will be flattered, turned on...If, on the other hand, he sees the woman doing the asking as bold, pushy, unattractive to him...he will back off, he will be turned off...

About the same as a woman would feel depending on who is asking.

Zackly......All about perception....

hmmmmmmmm although in my fantasy world women want me n ask me out all the time honestly it would be kinda cool to be asked out for once

I just wanted to add a thought. This isn't directed to any one person, it was just a random passing thought.

Over the past 100 years, with women wanting equal rights (drive, vote, jobs, military, etc) why shouldn't women take control when they have an attraction to a man. Why should it normally be expected of the man to make the first move? I know there are women out there that do take the first step, but not that many. OR at least that's my assumption. There are too many reasons that either a man or a woman may not know of the other liking them, or wanting a relationship with them. I've learned a long time ago, If you want something, Go for it. If a man asks the woman, or the woman asks the man, The worst they can say is no. At least then you could move on to finding another person of interest.

Also on a side note, I have no personal problems with women's equality. Like I said, this was just a random passing thought.

From what I've seen and heard about, a lot more women are ok with making the first move these days. And most men seem fine with it as well.

With as much difficulty as a lot of people have starting or getting into relationships, I say take it how you can get it. You ask them, or they ask you, it never hurts to get to know someone, no matter where it ends up.

Its a turn on for a woman to ask me ask. If she out ranks me that is like a double turn on. If she then accepts when I ask her out it is really awesome. There is like this logic of, "Okay, it just not a fantasy or just me. There must be some kind of chemistry or connection."

so any woman wanna ask me out?