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| Topic: What's Your Take On This Situation? Is This Girl Into Me? | |
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So we went out this evening. Just got dinner and headed over to a friend of her's to watch some tv. Anyways after we were done I drove her home and before she got out I was like
" So how are you feeling about us, in terms of of being in a relationship" And she was like "I really like the idea of dating and being together and would like to be a couple." So I guess we are a couple now. Just see how it goes haha. Thnaks again for all the advice |
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So we went out this evening. Just got dinner and headed over to a friend of her's to watch some tv. Anyways after we were done I drove her home and before she got out I was like " So how are you feeling about us, in terms of of being in a relationship" And she was like "I really like the idea of dating and being together and would like to be a couple." So I guess we are a couple now. Just see how it goes haha. Thnaks again for all the advice YEAH!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Happy for you. I hope you two have a vey long and happy future together. |
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I just read the first few posts in this topic and jumped to here, want to say glad you got it figured out. I was going to say, just tell her how you feel, be honest :)
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^^^^^ Yea thanks guys. Figure it was time to see we're we stood. Im just glad she was wanting to take it to the next level as well
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well its possible she's looking to be "just" a friend, but had it been you're currently unattached i believe it won't take much to make her your's but you have a gf or you don't particularly dig her anymore? and this business about she texting you all day could potentially cause a rift between you and your gf if she discovers. you certainly have some decisions to make here.
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Guys Im back and looking for a little advice if you have any........
So ever since I made this thread things had been pretty good with her and I. We've "officially" been going out 2 months and never had any problems or fights. Generally we woul text each other everyday. Just seeing how each others days are / flirting. and we always said goonight to each other. everynigt. serious. But so ok then we went out tgether on Sunday. Just to the mall. We had a really great time and she seemed like she had alot of fun. We talked about stuff we wanted to do after the holidays cause she was going home to visit relatves. Anyways though Sunday night she texts me an we text a little back and forth and then she sai goodnight. An everythng seemed good.. And then ever since Monday this week shes texted me less and less an sometimes its hrs before she will respon with a minor text of her own. And she hasnt goodnight in the last 3 days...... At first I assumed she was just busy or stressed over finalssince she has them coming up but then I found out she hadnt even started studying for them.... so what gives? up until sunday everything was great no problems. All of a sudden shes super distant and barely talks at all... is it over? and how do i bring this up with her? Or do I just ignore her and see what happens |
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anyone? ^^^^^^
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anyone? ^^^^^^ Face it squarely and ask if anything's wrong. And texting everyday get tedious keeping up with it. |
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anyone? ^^^^^^ Face it squarely and ask if anything's wrong. And texting everyday get tedious keeping up with it. so maybe just give her a cal today and see whats up? |
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It could be nothing, but you won't know unless you ask. Just be concerned, but not confrontational or needy.
Sometimes when people become stressed, they withdraw from the world around them, just so they can better focus on themselves. It could have something to do with schoolwork, or something could have come up with family coming out of the holiday weekend. But there's no point in speculating if unless you can identify some "clues" you might have missed. Even then, you can drive yourself nuts just trying to be a mind-reader sorting it all out. So you are better off just asking in a supportive way. |
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Edited by
Bushidobillyclub
on
Fri 12/02/11 10:54 AM
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Here's a little update for y'all. Last night I worked and the whole time I was thinking about this situation. I finally decided I was going to call her and tell her how I felt seriously. And let her know that I think we could be really good together but that that was just was how I felt and that I just wante to let her know and that I didnt expect her to necesarrily feel the same way. Anyways well I just called her. She seemed really excited and said she felt the same way and that she was really sorry about missing out on our plans. But asked would I like to get together wednesday after her midterm. She said she wanted to date too and that she was glad I called her and just kind of cleared the air. So maybe not a total failure? And I realize you guys might say oh that was really stupid and you shouldnt have done that. But I thought about it alot and I decided no matter how she felt I at least wanted to let her kno exactly how I felt and not have any regrets afterwards. So yea I little update I try to keep it simple. You are making it too complex. "Hey I really enjoy our time together", can be enough. Then you reach in and kiss her. "Your my girl right?" is plenty. Getting into the nitty gritty details of exclusivity can really put some people off, most people move toward commitment from a feelings perspective and not a rational analysis of the details of exclusivity. You don't have to get all Dr Phill on her and stuff. When people are not sure what they want you can have these kinds of situations, but also you can have this kind of situation when YOU over think things. So rule out over-thinking by making very simple statements about what YOU want. Be clear, NOT dramatic (or whiny) about it, and express your affection with actions NOT words. When the mood is right something along the lines of, " I think we fit pretty well . . ." can be enough. If you are straight up, confident, and accepting of her desires/ or lack there of, you end up with either an answer, or a girlfriend. Personally I would rather an answer and an end to the games ANYDAY, and no amount of waffling and questioning yourself is going to create a relationship when one was not there to begin with. Long ago I lost a great deal of my own insecurities, and that level of confidence (not cockiness) allows a-lot of this crap to roll off like water off a ducks back. (in fact you stop thinking about why she didn't text you in three days, it just doesn't cross your mind when you are secure.) You let your smile, and the hand holding, and the gifting explain your affection, you make simple statements about your thoughts, and if you do not get back what you give, you move on. |
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^^^^^^ Thanks guys. I think I will give her a call later on if I don't hear from her. Your right Im not a mindreader ( though sometimes I really wish I was one) and I have absolutely no clue whats going on.
I really just want to be calm and upfront. But not in a way that makes me look emotional or really upset ofver sudden change in behaviour.. If I can just ask her if anything is wrong or just be like "hey you seemed sort of distant lately. Just wondering if you wanted to talk about anything" I think thats the best thing I can do for myself. And if she says its over we'll than I guess at least I will know |
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^^^^^^ Thanks guys. I think I will give her a call later on if I don't hear from her. Your right Im not a mindreader ( though sometimes I really wish I was one) and I have absolutely no clue whats going on. I really just want to be calm and upfront. But not in a way that makes me look emotional or really upset ofver sudden change in behaviour.. If I can just ask her if anything is wrong or just be like "hey you seemed sort of distant lately. Just wondering if you wanted to talk about anything" I think thats the best thing I can do for myself. And if she says its over we'll than I guess at least I will know If you really like someone, then instead of trying to imagine what they are thinking, just focus on what YOU are thinking. If you are thinking, hmm if she had a bad day I wonder what would make it better . . . you rent a funny movie and head on over . . . or you call up, ask if she is hungry, she says yes you say, Chinese? and then grab some take out and head on over. I find those kinds of things to be FAR better then the . . . "hey I am here for you" sentimental crap. As men we always here about the romantic stuff (women talking to other women about men ect) . . but its a 90/10 kinda thing. 90% of the time women are extremely practical, and its best for you to be practical as well. Its the 10% that you show up with flowers, or toss out a line of poetry, or talk about emotions. Most of the time when they have had a bad day, they just want to veg out like the rest of us . . . and sometimes that means no one texting them about there day . . . |
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^^^^^^ Thanks guys. I think I will give her a call later on if I don't hear from her. Your right Im not a mindreader ( though sometimes I really wish I was one) and I have absolutely no clue whats going on. I really just want to be calm and upfront. But not in a way that makes me look emotional or really upset ofver sudden change in behaviour.. If I can just ask her if anything is wrong or just be like "hey you seemed sort of distant lately. Just wondering if you wanted to talk about anything" I think thats the best thing I can do for myself. And if she says its over we'll than I guess at least I will know If you really like someone, then instead of trying to imagine what they are thinking, just focus on what YOU are thinking. If you are thinking, hmm if she had a bad day I wonder what would make it better . . . you rent a funny movie and head on over . . . or you call up, ask if she is hungry, she says yes you say, Chinese? and then grab some take out and head on over. I find those kinds of things to be FAR better then the . . . "hey I am here for you" sentimental crap. As men we always here about the romantic stuff (women talking to other women about men ect) . . but its a 90/10 kinda thing. 90% of the time women are extremely practical, and its best for you to be practical as well. Its the 10% that you show up with flowers, or toss out a line of poetry, or talk about emotions. Most of the time when they have had a bad day, they just want to veg out like the rest of us . . . and sometimes that means no one texting them about there day . . . It's an interesting point you make in terms of ways of responding to this. And I dont know whats up with her. Cause all week I've heard less and less from her. And then today nothing at all. I trie phoning her once and no answer. Just kept ringing. Yet my fiend saw her out with a friend yesterday and she was using twitter today. So it just really annoys me that supposedly we are in a relationship together but she has no issue ignoring me. Cause she always has phone so she knows for sure I tried calling. Plus this is the first day ever since we've been going out that I havent heard a thing from her. Even her busiest days she would at least fin time to say hello......I just dont get why if she doesnt like me anymore she cant just say so. Whats the point of ignoring me. |
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Guys you have no idea how fukking and I mean totally fukking mad I am right now. i have never felt this disrespected in my life. So you know today I tried to call my "girlfriend" to see if I get her to tell me what is going on. No reply. So a while later I texted her just saying something like
"hey you seem really distant lately. anything you want to talk abot?" she didnt reply to that either. Yet I notice on twittr shes posting things like "my life is boring, my friends are boring, I need excitment! how much is a tattoo?" so that really fukking pissed me off. She knows I texted and called her ut yet shes off ignoring me and on twitter. so then this evening Im with a friend and I was "yo I want to go see if shes at work" so I go to her store and shes there. She's a cashier. so we go to her till and she seemed kind of suprised to see us. but she's like "Hey whats up? what are you guys doing?" I was so fukking livid I didnt really say much ad I didnt know how to confront her cause all her friends that worked there were nearby. so then I asked when she was done at and she said 8:30. so then I was like ok. And after that I gave her a call at 9:20..No fukking reply so then I check her twitter and shes asking her friend how much an hour for tattoo costs. shes actually serious about getting a fukking tattoo. and then she poste pics of some fun leopard pants she has. And Im like WTF IT SAYS YOUR MY FUKKING GIRLFRIEND ON FACEBOOK. Yet you ignore my call this afternoon, ignored my fukking text, looked me in the eye at your work and didnt apologize or anything, and then ignored my call after that. What kind of person fukking actually does this to someone? let alone someone they ated for months who they seem to really like. Im in total shock. Im really really pissed off.. All I wanted was for her to have the deceny to say "we're through" but she fkking ignores me........I cannot understand how someone can be that heartless. I really thought this girl was different. But BOOM a few days later completely different person. So much for thinking she cared about me. Cant even get her to send me a brief text. but oh no she can post about her lopard pants on twitter. *** her. what do I do now...All I wated was for her to say we are done....I seriously cannot describe how mad, hurt, and disresected I feel....This is the same girl who was talking about going clothes shopping after break and holding my hand, And then ignoring everything I send to her......I just cannot rationalize this I really cant...I dont care if you break up with me. *** thats fine. But to not even reply to me at all. *** you seriously *** you |
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anyone? ^^^^^^ did she go home on the holidays boy friend at home is r biggest worry cos after college ends he will still be there when she goes home |
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anyone? ^^^^^^ Face it squarely and ask if anything's wrong. And texting everyday get tedious keeping up with it. so maybe just give her a cal today and see whats up? yes |
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^^^^^^ Thanks guys. I think I will give her a call later on if I don't hear from her. Your right Im not a mindreader ( though sometimes I really wish I was one) and I have absolutely no clue whats going on. I really just want to be calm and upfront. But not in a way that makes me look emotional or really upset ofver sudden change in behaviour.. If I can just ask her if anything is wrong or just be like "hey you seemed sort of distant lately. Just wondering if you wanted to talk about anything" I think thats the best thing I can do for myself. And if she says its over we'll than I guess at least I will know If you really like someone, then instead of trying to imagine what they are thinking, just focus on what YOU are thinking. If you are thinking, hmm if she had a bad day I wonder what would make it better . . . you rent a funny movie and head on over . . . or you call up, ask if she is hungry, she says yes you say, Chinese? and then grab some take out and head on over. I find those kinds of things to be FAR better then the . . . "hey I am here for you" sentimental crap. As men we always here about the romantic stuff (women talking to other women about men ect) . . but its a 90/10 kinda thing. 90% of the time women are extremely practical, and its best for you to be practical as well. Its the 10% that you show up with flowers, or toss out a line of poetry, or talk about emotions. Most of the time when they have had a bad day, they just want to veg out like the rest of us . . . and sometimes that means no one texting them about there day . . . It's an interesting point you make in terms of ways of responding to this. And I dont know whats up with her. Cause all week I've heard less and less from her. And then today nothing at all. I trie phoning her once and no answer. Just kept ringing. Yet my fiend saw her out with a friend yesterday and she was using twitter today. So it just really annoys me that supposedly we are in a relationship together but she has no issue ignoring me. Cause she always has phone so she knows for sure I tried calling. Plus this is the first day ever since we've been going out that I havent heard a thing from her. Even her busiest days she would at least fin time to say hello......I just dont get why if she doesnt like me anymore she cant just say so. Whats the point of ignoring me. for whatever reason she wants space from u |
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Guys you have no idea how fukking and I mean totally fukking mad I am right now. i have never felt this disrespected in my life. So you know today I tried to call my "girlfriend" to see if I get her to tell me what is going on. No reply. So a while later I texted her just saying something like "hey you seem really distant lately. anything you want to talk abot?" she didnt reply to that either. Yet I notice on twittr shes posting things like "my life is boring, my friends are boring, I need excitment! how much is a tattoo?" so that really fukking pissed me off. She knows I texted and called her ut yet shes off ignoring me and on twitter. so then this evening Im with a friend and I was "yo I want to go see if shes at work" so I go to her store and shes there. She's a cashier. so we go to her till and she seemed kind of suprised to see us. but she's like "Hey whats up? what are you guys doing?" I was so fukking livid I didnt really say much ad I didnt know how to confront her cause all her friends that worked there were nearby. so then I asked when she was done at and she said 8:30. so then I was like ok. And after that I gave her a call at 9:20..No fukking reply so then I check her twitter and shes asking her friend how much an hour for tattoo costs. shes actually serious about getting a fukking tattoo. and then she poste pics of some fun leopard pants she has. And Im like WTF IT SAYS YOUR MY FUKKING GIRLFRIEND ON FACEBOOK. Yet you ignore my call this afternoon, ignored my fukking text, looked me in the eye at your work and didnt apologize or anything, and then ignored my call after that. What kind of person fukking actually does this to someone? let alone someone they ated for months who they seem to really like. Im in total shock. Im really really pissed off.. All I wanted was for her to have the deceny to say "we're through" but she fkking ignores me........I cannot understand how someone can be that heartless. I really thought this girl was different. But BOOM a few days later completely different person. So much for thinking she cared about me. Cant even get her to send me a brief text. but oh no she can post about her lopard pants on twitter. *** her. what do I do now...All I wated was for her to say we are done....I seriously cannot describe how mad, hurt, and disresected I feel....This is the same girl who was talking about going clothes shopping after break and holding my hand, And then ignoring everything I send to her......I just cannot rationalize this I really cant...I dont care if you break up with me. *** thats fine. But to not even reply to me at all. *** you seriously *** you ditch her and find someone whose values match ur she is a waste of anyones's time |
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So I met this girl last spring in one of my classes. One day I got to class early and was minding my own business. Anyways this cute girl comes in and there were chairs all around me open but she sat down right next to me. Anyways I proceed to introduce myself and we chatted. So the rest of th term we would sit together and talk. Just general stuff. How our weekends were, homework stuff like that. But I had a girl I was ind of seeing at the time and just wasn't really intreste in this girl that much. At the end of school though I added her on facebook and she went back home which is about 3hrs away for the summer. Anyways fast forward and about 2 months ago or maybe a little less she messages me on facebook out of the blue saying "Hey whats your cell #" We talked occassionally on facebook some but never alot. Anyways we started texting each other and if I don't text her for a few days she'll always message me and if I reply she'll generally mssage me all day. The thing is is I've started liking this girl alot. Like really think she might be gf material. It's just hard to tell how she's feeling though. She is single but we've only been txting this summer and havent seen each other at all since school. When we text we basically just talk about each others day or whats going on. But I dont know since we havent ever really talked about dating or anything I never know how flirty to be. I mentioned today that I was going to try and have a party before school. And she messaged back saying "we'll dont have until after the 1st" And I asked her whys that and she said "because maybe I want to come :P and my roomate too" I dont know. Shes a really cool girl. But the thing is is I dont know if shes interested in me as in dating or as a friend. She doesnt know a whole lot of people here I dont think and Im one of the few she does. So I dont know if she wants to be friends when she gets back or if she likes me more than that. Would it b wrong of me to ask her if shes into me or how should I go about it? Women often flirt with men to whom they are not attracted. They do this to test if they should be attracted to you or not. My advice, for what it's worth: If you like her and want to date her, ask her out. If she says "no", then say something like "That's cool". Don't stop being her friend and don't act weird about it, she might come around. |
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