It is so hard being a single mom! I just don't understand why I have to do it all alone! Nothing has changed for him but I am doing this all alone! Was alone threw the pregnacy and now my son is 10 months old and I am still alone! How can someone only spend 18 hours a week with there child? Any advise to help me?

It's hard but it can be done. It might not always be fun and you might be tired, but look at your kiddo when they laugh or smile at you Do you have family or friends that can help? I'm walking talking proof that it's possible. I've been on my own since day one as well. I hope you can get a break when you need it and at some point it does get easier, I promise

i had my daughter at 19 and i was a single mom, i met my son dad a few yrs later and even after we got married i still felt like i was single my marriage wasent ment to be. and when the divorce was final i felt like wow im alive.
my daughter is now 26yrs old with 3 kids. 12,9,4 (yea she had her first 2 young) but she good mom. she married there dad, a month before she found out she was pg with the baby, and they split up right before there first anneversary (same amount of time i was married to my son dad).. my mom had always been there or my sisters but my mom was more. and even took over in helping me raise my kids.. i cant put her down for that

my daughter's "father" hasn't seen her in over 3 years. You'd think I was asking to much of him just to call her for 10 minutes a week. He's busy...

my ex hubby had not seen our son sense he was 2yrs old.(hes now 22yrs old with a mind capcity of a 12yr old) and when my son was in the hospitol the end of 2006 i ended up calling his dad for we had no idea if he was going to make it. i called his dad so many times i was harassing him, he finally gave in and came down and brought his wife and daughter. i sware his daughter had more freaken brains than he did... and when my son was released from the hospitol you would think his dad would had called to see how he was doing.. nope it was his wife that called to see how he was doing.. we never told my son that hia dad was there for we didnt know if it would do any damage..

Being single parent is rough but it helps if you team up with other single parents. Shareing skills, babysitting, swapping clothes, shareing holidays.

The sooner you let go of the idea that you can make the other parent do what you expect the better. It just sucks out your energy and usually causes more problems than it is worth. Distracts you from being your best as a parent.

The more you harp on it the more of an issue you make it for your child.

I HAVE RAISED MY SON WITH OUT HIS MOM IN THE PICTURE FOR NEARLY 10 YRS, AND THE ADVSIE I CAN OFFER YOU IS THAT HELL YEAH ITS VERY HARD TO DO IT ALL ALONE, YOU CAN NEVER JUST RUN TO THE STORE FOR SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR CHILD "READY" JUST FOR THAT QUICK TRIP THEN HAUL THEM IN AND BACK OUT. YOU MAY END UP CHANGING YOUR INTIRE LIFE STYLE BECAUSE OF YOUR CHILD AND MAY MISS OUT ON THINGS IN LIFE, BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE RATHER THEN GET HUNG UP ON THAT LOOK AT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS,IF HE IS NOT GOING TO BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD YOU GET TO SPEND ALL THE CHILDS LIFE MAKING HIS OR HER BEST MEMORY'S (AND THEY WILL ALL BE WITH YOU IN THEM), AND YOU DONT HAVE HIM IN THE WAY MAKING LIFES REALLY TOUGH CHOICES EVEN HARDING BY HAVING TO ARGUE ON HOW YOU MAY DEAL WITH THEM, ITS ALL YOUR CALL, AND IF THIS UPSETS HIM HE CAN BE TOLD TO BE MORE INVOLVED. BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE BLESSED WITH AND JUST ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE GOOD POINTS TO THIS SITUATION, BECAUSE CHANCES ARE HE WILL NEVER CHANGE HIS WAY

Great words Steely....As for the single parents complaining you choose to procreate with someone that is not responsible nor wants to be,. accept this fact and be all you can be for your child. Many have dont it, you will survive it. I did.
Stop and think of the child first. And all else will follow...

The op isn't complaining, she is asking for advise. Her baby is only 10 months old, this is new for her. I have also done it..completely alone. No child support, no weekends off, no daddy. My boys are all grown up and yes, we survived. Once you have done it and it's done it is much easier than starting out. Give her a break...

I spend 25 years of my life doing it alone..if I want to complain about it, I damn sure will! Didn't years ago and won't now make a difference..I have earned the right to b!tch about it I choose!

Hi im a single dad of three boys oldest not really mine but raised from 2 an a half to 13 yrs old.Now im raising my two lil ones on my own,its not easy but worth every minute!Between work school an boys seems like no extra time.Hang in there !!!!

my older sister met a guy about 25yrs ago and he was a divorced father of 3(actually 2) as the lady he was married 2 prior dump her daughter off on his lap so to speak. so of course he took over and raised her. my sister was married to him for a short time, i dont know exactly what happen in there marriage but my sister still talkes to her ex step kids every so often.

I was pregnant with child No2 when my ex husband jumped ship.I was not in a position to carry on working for very long to say the least, and the years were very hard being on my own raising two children.However, I made a resolution that I owed it to them to have at least one good parent, during my children's time at school I have never had to be called in for any issues concrening behaviour or their performance at school. My son (now 25) thinks his father is a professional idiot and my daughter (soon to be 21 on Christmas Eve) thinks her father is a loser............. I have never coerced either of my children to be impolite to their father.

My daughter recently told me she did not see why she had to visit him when she was younger and refuses to speak to him now because her father's partner told her the gory details of our divorce. It was quite hard being a single parent but at the same time there is no conflict in child rearing when raising children on your own. I say good luck and well done to all single parents of this world.

my mom was married to my dad for 21yrs. and that whole time she took over the house and took care of us. my dad was hardly ever home. and she even stated she felt like she was never married.. the song cats n the cradle that song has been played by my sisters and my daughter on the piano.. that is one fav song. it fits to the t of my dad... hes around but you know not like a parent or grandparent... for my dad wasent even around really for the grandkids. and heck he lives in the same freaken town.... come on... when my daughter got pg with her first child i had called my dad to let him know and my daughter talked to him, and she really spoke her mind what she felt. and he thinks she owes him apoligy. .i dont think so...

Its hard and it sucks yes!!!!! my kids have seen their dad ONCE!!!! He left when I was prego with my daughter and my son was 7months oh and he took EVERYTHING!!!!!! Most of the time it sucks, I wish he would take him here and there, what about some $ to help, they are his kids doesnt he care? then I realise if he were involved I would miss out on a whole heck of lot. am I willing to sacrifice christmas and bdays, 1sts for a break? for a lil $? Nope not a chance!!!! I wonder why all the time, fact is its him not me, my kids or anything we did. I have friends who share custody and they are always complaining about how much they have to do, I think yah right you have no clue, but fact of the matter is I wouldnt change it for the world. When my kids are older they will get to make their own decisions about him, I dont say anything good or bad about them unless they ask, which at 4 and 5 they have but not often. They say my dads name is grandpa :D. When I get upset they dont have a dad, which happens alot especially when we go out to family things they tell me "dont worry mommy we are family just us three" :D Gotta love em'

I try to focus on the positive. Someone told me recently to write things down that bother me on one side of the page and then write but flip the page and write the opposite on the other side. This is a very simple yet powerful tool that has changed my life. I hope that helps. A personal example of this is: I do not like it when my ex husband does not spend very much time with his children but I love that I do not have to fight for time for my children and that I have greater influence on their lives than he does.

Just grin and bear it! I can tell ya first hand.Even when times are tough,They are worth every moment. My kids are 26-17.And we love each other with all our hearts.So awesome.Would not trade it for anything!
Hang in there.You will be fine.

just keep your head up and let him see the baby as much or little as he wants because if you say no then he may always say it was you stopping him and then it will be hard on the kid when hes older trust me i know 20 yrs later and my parents still cant get along and i am stuck in the middle PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO YOUR CHILD !!

its hard but we have to do it for are children no matter what are children need us mom or dad its not just hard for single moms its hard for single dads too. and we can only hope that the other parents thats not there now well come around some day.

All single parents feel this way sometimes. I never expected to be a 28 year old single mother of two toddlers when I got married but life doesn't work the way we want it to. Their father neglected to tell me that he had seasonal bi-polar and would rather drink and do drugs than take medication when we got married. I found this out two years later and tried to make it work. Unfortunately bi-polar people don't like to do things on any terms but their own. I had to walk away from the relationship to better my children. He is now in jail for violating restraining orders. Sometimes things happen that we think are terrible but they end up helping us. As bad as it sounds, my children will be better without their father and I'm sure that your child will be too. I live every moment of my day making sure that I am the best parent and role model that my children need in their lives. They also give me the strength to want to do something better with my life. Even though I had to do it alone, I got my bachelor's degree without any help. I worked a graveyard shift at night and left my kids with their grandmother, picked them up when I got off at 6am, kept them until I had to go to school at 5pm, then from school I went to work and repeated the whole day again. It is hard, but it is the hard work that makes us strong. It is easy to want the greener grass on the other side of the fence. It is harder to be the gardener that makes his brown grass green, but it can be done!

i loved being a parent.. single or when i wasnt made no difference to me. i had 3 children... sure i went without , i did not care . even being not single is hard sometimes when it comes to parenting... really to me there was no difference... i never had that 18 hours of free time when my kids were 1 and 3 yrs old.. i had my kids all the time.. and cherished every moment... for 2 yrs straight... count your lucky stars... and i never got any childsupport either.... from my first two kids father. myself i looked at it this way what a pleasure it was to have these two children.. and i never regreted having them, when i gave birth to them i never expected anything else other than to always be there for them, and to take care of them...

Sam - it's hard but then again it would be hard were he there with you.

prioritize things
dont let the small things get to you
have fun w/your child
provide guidance
feed
clothe
play
shower with love
etc.

Anything worthwhile is usually hard, as the child grows enjoy them and make the best of it.

Dont focus on absent parent - focus on the child and yourself

be the very best you, you can be!!!

Good luck