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| Topic: The Six Week Rule... | |
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Having been in a relationship where we didn't really have sex I now know how important it really is. If you're dating someone I think it's important to find out sooner than later if you are sexually compatible or not. In my case I was so into the guy I thought we could work on it or "fix" the sex issue, but that never happened and only left me that much more heart broken in the end. Now, I have had that happen to me in the past as well...  THAT is why I have noooo problem talking about my needs & desires...but I think a lot can be told by a kiss...
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Curious insight, I certainly have not thought of it quite that way...
 best wishes for the future!
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I have a feeling that when two people get The Fever they aren't going to check out a calendar first.
 
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Having been in a relationship where we didn't really have sex I now know how important it really is. If you're dating someone I think it's important to find out sooner than later if you are sexually compatible or not. In my case I was so into the guy I thought we could work on it or "fix" the sex issue, but that never happened and only left me that much more heart broken in the end. Now, I have had that happen to me in the past as well... THAT is why I have noooo problem talking about my needs & desires...but I think a lot can be told by a kiss... At least I can say I learned A LOT about what I don't want from that relationship. |
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It's going to be different for everyone. If two people feel it's right to have sex quickly, there's nothing wrong with that. If two people feel it's right to wait a while, there's also nothing wrong with that. The same thing isn't going to work for everyone.
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for ***'s like u its six minutes
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I don't see how you could possibly know enough about a stranger in six weeks, even if you spent the majority of the time together, to know wheather it was a smart move to be physically intimate. Even if they gave you huge access and a health check. Maybe if you have serious mutual friends but there is so much to learn about a person. I don't see skipping over all the "steps" that lead up to really great romance and sex by jumping the gun. I mean think about it some things are worth getting right.
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It's gonna take longer than six weeks before I share my goodies
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So, what do ya'll think about a person who wants to wait for 6wks before they become physically intimate with their partner? Is it prudent...or prudish? Disclaimer: I already KNOW this topic has been done before...  Six weeks? I go with the six minute rule.
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Edited by
robert1652
on
Wed 09/30/09 08:14 PM
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Being a good catholic based on the scripture which says
"On the third day He rose" I say "On the third date he rode" 
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I don't see it being a bad idea. If they really like you, they'll be willing to wait. But, as has been said, things can change. Also...what about time spent talking on the phone, or online?? Does that time count in the ' getting to know ' part?? Good question... Obviously most of us have been involved in one way or another with someone from the Internet... If it's an LDR type thing, of course there's gonna be a lot of talking & emailing before the first "meeting"... But if the relationship is "local" & you have the luxury of seeing each other often...what's the harm in waiting a lil bit before all the hormones get involved? I don't see any harm in it at all. |
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That is the biggest mistakes most couples make. Learning about the new friend is very important and you will know if you hit it off. Emails and phone calls assist in building bridges process.
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Talking, chatting and weekly renedevous should help build that physical relationship. Are friends with benefits an option or are you looking for a deep relationship??
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I stick with the you'll know it's right when it's right and won't define feelings to a time frame. However if he was the one by chance wanting to wait it would sorta make me wonder how bad he was at it
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I stick with the you'll know it's right when it's right and won't define feelings to a time frame. However if he was the one by chance wanting to wait it would sorta make me wonder how bad he was at it What I can't figure out is why that would even be something to enter a woman's mind. I mean...aren't women ( for the most part ) always saying how they are tired of guys that only want sex??? I mean....guys simply can't win. If we go for sex as soon as possible...we're " typical pigs ". If we want to wait a bit...it's thought that we are just crappy lovers and want to make you like us some other way first. That or there is just " something wrong " with us. |
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steve harvey views it as a probationary period at a job...90 days if you want the job benefits.
if a man wanted to take his time but i was definitely turned on by him i could wait...if i wasnt i wouldnt. i do think within the first month is highly reasonable...by then you should know more about a person and if youd like to become intimate with them and are considering them a serious potential. lately i just go with the flow...some past relationships we hit it right off the bat...others we really got to know one another better. i will say this...in MY personal experience sex ive waited for or my partner has waited for has ALWAYS been phenomenal...as has some sex right off the bat...but not ALL sex right off the bat...and most men i sleep with right away i dont keep around. i was just "sportsfishing" when i tossed them the keys to the cookie jar  i.e. with keepers we wait til whenever is right between the two of us...and there is no time limit to that. however dont expect someone to wait around FOREVER without putting forth ANYTHING in todays world. i find recalling that helps me realize if i really want them in my bed or not...much less anywhere else we plan to have one another!
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I stick with the you'll know it's right when it's right and won't define feelings to a time frame. However if he was the one by chance wanting to wait it would sorta make me wonder how bad he was at it What I can't figure out is why that would even be something to enter a woman's mind. I mean...aren't women ( for the most part ) always saying how they are tired of guys that only want sex??? I mean....guys simply can't win. If we go for sex as soon as possible...we're " typical pigs ". If we want to wait a bit...it's thought that we are just crappy lovers and want to make you like us some other way first. That or there is just " something wrong " with us. [/quote Weird double standards I know, just can't help feeling doubts about it since in the experience I have anytime it was with a man who put things off when we were both feeling the chemistry it had negative results. But as always you can't lump everyone into the same category in a broad generalization because there are always exceptions  |
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So, what do ya'll think about a person who wants to wait for 6wks before they become physically intimate with their partner? Is it prudent...or prudish? Disclaimer: I already KNOW this topic has been done before... I have never been able to wait that long....  The most I have waited has been three weeks. I think it should be individual but I see nothing wrong with waiting that long. I don't see it as prudish or anything. To each their own. Of course none of my relationships worked out so maybe they know something I don't ...lol |
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steve harvey views it as a probationary period at a job...90 days if you want the job benefits. if a man wanted to take his time but i was definitely turned on by him i could wait...if i wasnt i wouldnt. i do think within the first month is highly reasonable...by then you should know more about a person and if youd like to become intimate with them and are considering them a serious potential. lately i just go with the flow...some past relationships we hit it right off the bat...others we really got to know one another better. i will say this...in MY personal experience sex ive waited for or my partner has waited for has ALWAYS been phenomenal...as has some sex right off the bat...but not ALL sex right off the bat...and most men i sleep with right away i dont keep around. i was just "sportsfishing" when i tossed them the keys to the cookie jar i.e. with keepers we wait til whenever is right between the two of us...and there is no time limit to that. however dont expect someone to wait around FOREVER without putting forth ANYTHING in todays world. i find recalling that helps me realize if i really want them in my bed or not...much less anywhere else we plan to have one another! That was a good book. |
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I stick with the you'll know it's right when it's right and won't define feelings to a time frame. However if he was the one by chance wanting to wait it would sorta make me wonder how bad he was at it What I can't figure out is why that would even be something to enter a woman's mind. I mean...aren't women ( for the most part ) always saying how they are tired of guys that only want sex??? I mean....guys simply can't win. If we go for sex as soon as possible...we're " typical pigs ". If we want to wait a bit...it's thought that we are just crappy lovers and want to make you like us some other way first. That or there is just " something wrong " with us. Naaaa, not all women think that way...I don't think most do. Maybe some. I do like to get through at least a few get togethers before it comes up. I think women saying guys just want sex is when the topic comes up on the second date..or even worse, on the first date before the dinner is even over. 
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