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| Topic: Me or Him? | |
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Edited by
iceprincess
on
Thu 12/18/08 08:20 AM
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I don't take anything you say personal so for telling me that you're not bringing me home, I wasn't asking. I was conversing in conversation. I don't feel that someone needs to have 500 to spend on meeting through the internet because of distance. That's quite retarded.
The money is irrelevant. It is you who are insecure so you are assuming that I am insisting that they spend money and that this really has nothing to do with my own personal safety. That is hogwash. How am I personally responsible for them living a great distance from me and requiring a hotel? How will the money they are forced to spend be beneficent to me in any way? They are not spending that money on me but on themselves. I will not allow a man I just met on the internet to stay in my own place of residence for general safety reasons. What if the relationship does not go as he had planned and now he knows where I live? Amy number of dangerous circumstances could arise. Oh no someone who lives 3 hours away from me knows where I live..., I'm gonna die now!!!! Are you serious? Hahahaha. I'm sorry but that is the funniest thing I have read in quite sometime. How many relationships haven't worked out for you? How many lived closer than 3 hours away? Please post these so we all can show you some statistics. You have a much greater chance of being killed by someone who lives closer and that you didn't spend as much time with than the internet guy. That's why I brought up the bar thing. You want to go with the church. should I bring that up? I mean churches go on to other churches for events and sleep overs. You're beyond insecure with that phrase by the way. I want you to really think about this. The guy goes to his hotel, has driven 3 hours, met you somewhere to get to know you which means at least dinner he's hungry I'm sure. He has at the minimum or will at the minimum spend 500 dollars to meet you. But he's not welcome back at your house so again he must spend more gas money *I'm going to guess since you're so uncomfortable meeting this person that you're going to take 2 vehicles everywhere as well* going to places of your choice for possibly breakfast lunch and dinner for the next 2 nights. However, what else are you going to do for activities? I mean surely he didn't come 3 hours and get a hotel for 3 nights to sip coffee all day. Like I said, you're asking someone to spend well over 500 to spend time with you. A hooker charges about 300 if she's good looking per hour and 500 for a night. *my sister's one I sorta know the deal* Not only do they get to degrade this hooker, they **** her, and don't ever have to see her again. However, they just had a night of wild crazy sex and it cost a lot less than meeting you. It would be absurd for a girl who should be at the very least a very dear internet friend by now to ask for that kind of person. I just don't see how you think this compromises your safety. As for money being irrelevant... Oh no it's totally relevant. Unless you're totally lonely in this world, can't get a date from anyone, have absolutely no friends whatsoever, and you have a buttload of cash, that is the only person you're ever meeting that lives over 3 hours away. Which would make them a potential psycho since the above criteria isn't a good fit for a potential lover. Are you actually suggesting that because some guy spent $500 to come meet me ( a request of his btw if you look in the original post)that I should Fu*k him? I'm sorry I don't give a damn what your hooker sister charges I'm worth a hell of a lot more than that and if your not able to afford to pay your own way than drive 3 hours to meet me and turn around and drive your ass home.......better yet save up to do it if your wanting to spend a couple of days |
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Hi Junebug
longtime listener, first time caller sounds to me like he was being pushy and presuming upon you too much trust your instincts and if it feels uncomfortable then keep him at arms length. just because you talk to someone on the internet and or the phone doesn't make you obligated to them |
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I would agree with the "trust your own instincts" recommendation. That is based on personal experience and is a subjective criteria.
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he lives 3 hours away from me and wanted to spend a few days here, but did not want to pay the cost of a hotel room..
That alone sends up red flags.  I refuse to compromise my safety for the sake of meeting any menfolk. That would apply to both real life first introductions or on the internet. You have to ask why can he not afford a hotel room for three days? Its creepy.
3 hour drive= at least 50.00 gas hotel room for 3 days minimum 50.00 a night- 150.00 and that's at a bare minimum most likely 300.00 350 dollars without food ok so now you eat out and since you're the man you pay for dinner eat + 2 dinner good dinner=at the very least probably about another 50.00 for one night dinner, breakfast maybe the hotel offers it for free if you wake up early enoguh *yeah right hahaha* so breakfast and lunch you're going to spend money on for 2 days which will probably be about another 20-30 per day if you ate by yourself so now you're looking at another 60 bucks. Man I don't know too many people who are going to spend 500.00 on first meet and greet. That's a lot of money. This doesn't include drinks to get to and from home. 3 hour drive I usually get 2 drinks plus an energy kicker or coffee going both ways I would spent about 10.00 bucks or so. This has no activities planned by the way or any type of gift or anything like that. Like I said, I've flown across country before and spent 7 days in Houston with a girl, I spent 5 days in Austin with a girl, I spent maybe 7 days on 2 different trips to MD with a girl... I don't recall the amount of days with the mD girl because of the two seperate trips. I stayed at their places all of the times. Well, I think those gals took a big risk then. As far as the cost, I would have pitched in for such an extensive trip, so that's not excuse in my mind to jeopardize my safety or push me into something I'm not ready for. |
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"Are you actually suggesting that because some guy spent $500 to come meet me ( a request of his btw if you look in the original post)that I should Fu*k him? I'm sorry I don't give a damn what your hooker sister charges I'm worth a hell of a lot more than that and if your not able to afford to pay your own way than drive 3 hours to meet me and turn around and drive your ass home.......better yet save up to do it if your wanting to spend a couple of days "
Nope not at all. It doesn't take 500.00 to meet someone. However, making someone stay at a hotel would unless the other partner was open to ok you spend money for hotel costs and I'll spend money on food and entertainment however that wasn't suggested. As for the other's personal background. I've been assaulted by schoolmates, classmates, I've been raped for 8 years straight by my own family member in my own house pretty much every single day, and uh living 3 hours away there's a less likely chance of it happening. This doesn't mean that there aren't psychos in this world. All I was saying is if there was this bonding between 2 people such as I don't know love for instance spending 500 and getting rubbed off by the person because they don't trust you is soo pathetic. I also said you can HAVE FRIENDS... I guess you have no friends because you can't trust anyone. 1 guy fighting off 5 guys and a girl plus phones yeah I'm thinking the guy doesn't stand a ****ing chance in hell. Then again you're you and I am me. I just think based on my experiences that it would be totally ridiculous for someone to have this mutual friendship/feeling to want to meet and hangout but in order to so they must fork over more money than a cruise ship... I can do a hell of a lot more in life than go meet someone with that kind of money. Like I said, the only people in this world that would spend that kind of money on "meeting" are the complete utterly hopeless losers in this world. Like for instance GO ON A CRUISE! I think I could get to disneyworld 2x in a month with that kind of money. I'd have more fun than sippin on some coffee lookin at you from across the way especially since you couldn't trust me after spending soo much time on the phone, net, seeing my pictures, etc. I did mandate time in this equation and I do mandate that you feel secure enough to finally meet, and I didn't say leave your guard down at all however I just believe that your secluding yourself off from a good portion of this world by asking people to do that kind of thing. It's beyond ridiculous from my standpoint and anyone willing to do that before meeting would freak me the **** out and I'd never see them. |
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There were big red flags, but being the internet I try not to jump to conclusions and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. So yeah, in this case I think I not only did the right thing, but probably dodged a bullet, so-to-speak.
It is so much easier when folks lead with honesty and good intentions, which clearly was not the case here. Thanks everyone for your input on this.  I'm movin on.
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Nope not at all. It doesn't take 500.00 to meet someone. However, making someone stay at a hotel would unless the other partner was open to ok you spend money for hotel costs and I'll spend money on food and entertainment however that wasn't suggested.
Its not about the money. Just because you cant afford to spend the extra cash on a trip is NOT the woman's problem. Cant you get that through your head?  She is not responsible for you living a great distance from her. You are not spending that money on her, but on yourself for a room at her request. That is a standard safety precaution.
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Fck em and feed em fishheads..... I worked with a woman 12 years ago who said this regularly and haven't ever heard the expression again... Wow! What a blast from the past! lol its uber old, i got it from my dad |
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I don't think either of you were being a jerk persay! You were just being honest and exspressing your feelings! Nothing wrong with that! And physical attraction as much as we hate to admit it, is a big thing!!
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Nope not at all. It doesn't take 500.00 to meet someone. However, making someone stay at a hotel would unless the other partner was open to ok you spend money for hotel costs and I'll spend money on food and entertainment however that wasn't suggested.
Its not about the money. Just because you cant afford to spend the extra cash on a trip is NOT the woman's problem. Cant you get that through your head? She is not responsible for you living a great distance from her. You are not spending that money on her, but on yourself for a room at her request. That is a standard safety precaution.
standard safety precaution by you. I've never heard of such a thing in my entire life. You're the very first individual who I've ever talked to request such a thing. Hey check this out at the age of 15 my friend had a 23 year old Japanese kid come stay at his house. He was pretty cool, we have some pictures as well. Foreign tribes all over the world allow people to sleep in their homes. You on the otherhand are a little wierd for demanding that your internet friend who should be a friend couldn't possibly stay over whatsoever... I've had travelling bands stay at friends houses. This is how the world operates. If a guy spends 500+ to meet someone they have a serious problem in life and you demanding that is even more serious. 500.00 I'd get to hangout with my favorite band, get an autographed cd, get vip access to the stage, go out for drinks afterwords, a leather jacket, and a whole bunch of other neat stuff. Not only do I get to chill with my HEROES! but I also get all kinds of extras! That's a pretty cool gift... Meeting you not nearly cool enough sorry you're not that cool and that's my point. If anyone really thinks you're that cool at the very least spends what a VIP all access roadie package costs where you get to go on stage with the band and give them their **** and work with them and hangout with them and party with them yeah I'm going to say it's so not worth it. If you think that you're that important in life that to meet you is worth more than a vacation of a week cruise ship you either are A-totally rich which means getting into your panties will pay off dividends into the future Or B-you're only looking for the richest guys in the land or C the person who is going to do this has absolutely no life. |
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standard safety precaution by you. I've never heard of such a thing in my entire life. You're the very first individual who I've ever talked to request such a thing.
How many ladies would request that a man that they have met fairly recently on the internet not stay in their own place of residence for several days? On their first meeting no less? |
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Nope not at all. It doesn't take 500.00 to meet someone. However, making someone stay at a hotel would unless the other partner was open to ok you spend money for hotel costs and I'll spend money on food and entertainment however that wasn't suggested.
Its not about the money. Just because you cant afford to spend the extra cash on a trip is NOT the woman's problem. Cant you get that through your head? She is not responsible for you living a great distance from her. You are not spending that money on her, but on yourself for a room at her request. That is a standard safety precaution.
standard safety precaution by you. I've never heard of such a thing in my entire life. You're the very first individual who I've ever talked to request such a thing. Hey check this out at the age of 15 my friend had a 23 year old Japanese kid come stay at his house. He was pretty cool, we have some pictures as well. Foreign tribes all over the world allow people to sleep in their homes. You on the otherhand are a little wierd for demanding that your internet friend who should be a friend couldn't possibly stay over whatsoever... I've had travelling bands stay at friends houses. This is how the world operates. If a guy spends 500+ to meet someone they have a serious problem in life and you demanding that is even more serious. 500.00 I'd get to hangout with my favorite band, get an autographed cd, get vip access to the stage, go out for drinks afterwords, a leather jacket, and a whole bunch of other neat stuff. Not only do I get to chill with my HEROES! but I also get all kinds of extras! That's a pretty cool gift... Meeting you not nearly cool enough sorry you're not that cool and that's my point. If anyone really thinks you're that cool at the very least spends what a VIP all access roadie package costs where you get to go on stage with the band and give them their **** and work with them and hangout with them and party with them yeah I'm going to say it's so not worth it. If you think that you're that important in life that to meet you is worth more than a vacation of a week cruise ship you either are A-totally rich which means getting into your panties will pay off dividends into the future Or B-you're only looking for the richest guys in the land or C the person who is going to do this has absolutely no life. stupidest thing I ever heard just because some guy (or you) says she should put herself out just because some guy tells her too? even people I know really well for years and years better be prepared to get a motel room when they come see me. And if they presume to insist to sleep at my house then they wont be welcome No body gets to tell you what you're gonna do in your own house |
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And dont you have a credit card? The sqaonk guy? Just put it on plastic for christ sake. Its not as if you need to come up with thousands of dollars in cash right then and there. Then you make your payments and hope the date goes well. This should not cause you to go spiraling into crippling financial debt.
I have this feeling that several men on forum would have no problem with this simple request. They are used to it on first meetings when distance is a factor and it normally is. |
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I'D have a problem with it. I don't own, nor have I ever owned, a credit card....by choice!
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Thu 12/18/08 09:45 AM
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Well thats fine for you. I am stating that $500 for a room is not out of the question. I actually agree with quiet on this. Its a practical safety precaution and I think many women would insist upon it.The money is not the woman's problem if he is asking to come visit her.
A man that professes not to understand this request or feels it unreasonable has probably never been attacked, stalked or assaulted as a result of what initially was only a casual, first meeting date. Or has had problems later because a man knew where she lived. |
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And a woman could never be as psycho, right? Gimme a break.
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Edited by
iceprincess
on
Thu 12/18/08 09:59 AM
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Nope not at all. It doesn't take 500.00 to meet someone. However, making someone stay at a hotel would unless the other partner was open to ok you spend money for hotel costs and I'll spend money on food and entertainment however that wasn't suggested.
Its not about the money. Just because you cant afford to spend the extra cash on a trip is NOT the woman's problem. Cant you get that through your head? She is not responsible for you living a great distance from her. You are not spending that money on her, but on yourself for a room at her request. That is a standard safety precaution.
standard safety precaution by you. I've never heard of such a thing in my entire life. You're the very first individual who I've ever talked to request such a thing. Hey check this out at the age of 15 my friend had a 23 year old Japanese kid come stay at his house. He was pretty cool, we have some pictures as well. Foreign tribes all over the world allow people to sleep in their homes. You on the otherhand are a little wierd for demanding that your internet friend who should be a friend couldn't possibly stay over whatsoever... I've had travelling bands stay at friends houses. This is how the world operates. If a guy spends 500+ to meet someone they have a serious problem in life and you demanding that is even more serious. 500.00 I'd get to hangout with my favorite band, get an autographed cd, get vip access to the stage, go out for drinks afterwords, a leather jacket, and a whole bunch of other neat stuff. Not only do I get to chill with my HEROES! but I also get all kinds of extras! That's a pretty cool gift... Meeting you not nearly cool enough sorry you're not that cool and that's my point. If anyone really thinks you're that cool at the very least spends what a VIP all access roadie package costs where you get to go on stage with the band and give them their **** and work with them and hangout with them and party with them yeah I'm going to say it's so not worth it. If you think that you're that important in life that to meet you is worth more than a vacation of a week cruise ship you either are A-totally rich which means getting into your panties will pay off dividends into the future Or B-you're only looking for the richest guys in the land or C the person who is going to do this has absolutely no life. I have a really dumb question...........where is all the class you spoke of being born into and having in previous posts on a diffrent forum topic? I have never had a complete stranger stay (whether I've talked to you online or on the phone that is what you are)at my home in my life. I have children as I'm sure the OP does and I would never put my children at risk.......I don't care if i have friends stay over or not....bringing a stranger into your home and giving them potential future access to said home (they now know where you live) is putting my children at risk. That just being point number one. Point number two is the jist I get from what you are saying in regards to money being shelled out........is you feel you paid to see me therefor you are entitled to some form of sexual compensation...best advice i have in regards to that is have your sister hook you up with a friend of hers........Im sorry but you and your archaic ideas are sorely in the minority. I've yet to meet or talk to a man on the internet that holds your extremely low class position on these matters. |
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(((lilbug))) you are an amazing lady you go with what you feel and what you believe even if he was the best looking on this earth still dosent mean you have to have over nighters you did nothing wrong
 
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I have children as I'm sure the OP does
Nope. |
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