We can be quit the psychotics and recommend if we come to see you demand we stay at a hotel and we pay.........street runs both ways,

That was never stated. The reality of the situation is that the woman runs a greater risk (statistically speaking) of being physically harmed or kidnapped by a man. Of course there are exceptions to that rule. Dont be silly. I challenge you to scroll back and find where one female on this thread stated otherwise.

There are always exceptions to rules.

Both the man and the woman's safety should be taken under consideration. The hotel room would be beneficial to the man in this respect also.

I find that not an unreasonable request.If you do, you are entitled to that opinion. This is also completely subjective. You have no idea what my past experiences entail so this is why I have set these parameters for my own safety.

If you were to then insist on meeting me and staying in my home (hypothetically), you would be denied this request.

Challenge accepted.



By proxy, you're insinuating that a man will probably wig out if things don't go well and he knows where a woman lives. Seems rather narcissistic to me.



Don't flatter yourself. You'd have a very long wait.

anybody want a moon pie?

double post

I wouldn't expect to stay at someones house when going to meet them the first time. If they asked, that is one thing. If you are going to do the long distance thing, be ready for some expense involved with it, travel, rooms, dining, fun, you gotta pay to play so to speak. A guy may not think nothing of letting a woman stay at his place, but you gotta understand that a woman is just using common sense by being careful.

OP did nothing wrong, if she didn't feel good about it, then don't do it. If the guy had feelings for her then he could show them on the meet without staying at her place. Some women will be able to do that, most, I don't think so. Too many creeps in the world, male and female

First I shall reply to the let's ask the board...

I didn't say it was ok to meet with someone after 1 phone call. That's kind of creepy. I lived 3 blocks from the 2nd to last girl that I dated. We found eachother via myspace and even then with pictures of my dog and me, it took 3 weeks before we were both comfortable with meeting. Mind you, for me she lived 3 blocks away and knew exactly where I lived. Oh by the way even though it wasn't mandatory, I got to sleep over the very first day :). My dog didn't though.

As for expecting to stay on far away trips. The 3 hours is a pretty long drive and if it was me I would sleep in my car if need be but I would want a shower. I definately wouldn't pay 500 to meet someone from the internet. Like I previously said, only complete and utter losers would do such a thing. 500.00 is a lot of money whether you want to see it as that or not, and like I said that would be the bare minimum spent and it has no entertainment value at all. If you think for one second that the world is open to meet you, you're dead wrong. No reasonable person who has a life will spend 500 dollars to meet someone.

As far as having kids I don't know about that. I don't have any. I could see how precaution would totally be acceptable in that case, you would be the one driving :). It just wouldn't work out from my point of view. I honestly don't see that happening for a long distance with kids. I just don't see that as something that would workout but I mean I could be wrong. Me personally I wouldn't let anyone stay in my house if I just met them with kids at home. No way in hell.

Now as for long distance expenses.. It does take money to make a long distance relationship work but only when seeing eachother. Everything else is pretty easy nowadays. When I first started, I was paying payphones to talk on them. Then it got upgraded to 10-10-2-20 and then finally the cellphone. Nowadays it's pretty easy to make a long distance relationship work as long as both people are dedicated to the relationship and are willing to split the costs for meeting. However for hotels hahahaha definately not! At least not for me but then again I stay away from long distance relationships since mine have always turned out bad for me.

Why does a woman run a greater risk at meeting through the internet? For all I know you could actually be a 60 year old man. I mean since we're talking about non trust and safety you must really assume that.

I don't see how a hotel room is beneficial at all for either person. What exactly is the point to sleep safely? So I don't get carved up while I'm sleeping? Women are pretty freaky I mean lorana bobit chopped it the **** off. You tell me the last time you heard a women having her tits or having her vag cut up in america since lorana bobit did her thing.

Like I said, anyone willing to pay 500.00 to meet you is more of a creep than someone trying to do the basics. Unless of course they were substantially rich and money was like nothing in which case like I said you're a gold digger.

If you got money like that be my guest. Then again I still think I'd be freaked out that you would be willing to spend that much on let's plane fare was involved as well. That would be sick and I would either hand you half the money or treat you to some awesome entertainment. So in this case the girl is going to get pampered for visiting but the guy visiting a girl will not get pampered so it doesn't really work out.

I mean if you shelled out 500 bucks and all he did was buy mcdonalds for you and took you to a coffee shop and a park would you ever think of going back? Seriously think about that because that's exactly what it would be like for the guy.

my point is that the street runs both ways we expect you to shell the expense of visiting us so in turn if we visit you we should be expected to shell. Who says guys are always more generous monetarily then women? Thats a bit stereotypical don't you think?

It's not like that at all. However, with my personality my friends don't pay for dinner, and my girlfriend most certainly doesn't pay for dinner and most of the time doesn't cook dinner either. Either we go out or I cook. As for entertainment yeah maybe the person would shell out money for stuff to do. I've had females buy me some play tickets before because no one ever went with them to broadway musicals. However, it's not often that I let women do much for me. It just feels wierd to me. My friends are generally like this as well with their gfs.

3 hours isnt all that maybe to spend a day together, if he wanted to stay 3 days he should of saved the money for a motel if he was that serious about it.... myself that would of put up a red flag... u did the right thing he didnt

I think that is fair, however in my case, I refuse to travel to visit the man for a first meeting. That is another safety precaution that I feel is reasonable. For myself only. Most men will be understanding of this and acquiesce to this requirement without issue.

Although some guy on this thread referred to me as a "narcissist" for taking precautionary measures in regards to my own safety...so.

The dude sounds like a loser

Aye, I work at 7-11 and have afforded a hotel room for a bit to see buffry...something not right about not being able to afford that.

I'm referring to any visit should it be first or tenth.........he who instigates pays. that is just my philosophy

In regards to squonk..........I'm not sure whom you've been dating but if you always seem to be the party cooking or shelling out for a date them maybe you should change a your criteria and find a more independent woman. As for feeling uncomfotable if she pays....that is a personal problem. Don't judge us for your issues and say you or your sex is the more monetarily generous. We can only give what your willing to accept in that regard.

No one was a jerk, but you went with your instincts and THAT is a very smart thing to do babe.

First in-person meet I ever had the guy asked to stay in my home. I was stupid enough to agree. He took advantage of my kindness & even ran around in boxers in front of my children. A-hole.

I know, I know. I was stupid enough to have him here when the kids were here too. UGH. Learned a lot since then. Have met probably 80 guys from online sites in person. Not ONE has ever stayed in my home since. They even ask & I get a red flag.

As to the weight, I'm with you. Not attracted to truly overweight guys. Just me. Not judging just nothing there. So ya .. thank God you found out.

*sigh*

Is this him?

See now for women having to travel I totally see the precaution of not going. I still don't agree that a long distance person must shell out over 500 just to meet you. That's where the personality disorder comes from. You're completely self indulged that you're worth meeting for 500 or more. Psh I don't give a **** if you were a celebrity, I don't shell out 500.00 to meet someone whether I'm getting laid or not. That's why everyone laughed when my favorite artist as well as everyone on the forum laughed when they asked for 500 bucks for a ticket, a meet and greet, a signed album cover, a chance to be introduced on stage, a chance to chill with them, a jacket, a digital camera, etc. That's with like your heroes you know it's not a girl on the internet... You make me cringe just thinking that you expect this of people that would be long distiance because you might have been hurt by men in the past or were hurt by men in the past. Hun I've been hurt by plenty of people, that doesn't mean I look at the world in the same light nor does it mean I am fearful of every living creature on this planet. *shudders*

Im not attracted to overweight men either. Its nothing against them on a personal level. Im just saying from purely a sexual attraction standpoint, not going to happen.