Actually I was wondering who ate the fish heads!

If he was being to pushy...I would have seen all kinds of red flags. I think I would have handled it a different way and not brought up the weight issue. I try not to hurt anyone's feelings, there is no need to do that. I think you did the right thing by not meeting him though, I would never allow someone in my home on our first meeting.
Never let someone make you feel uncomfortable and talk you into anything...I think you were smart by choosing not to let him make the trip. If you start to feel trapped and see red flags..ALWAYS listen to your gut feelings!!!

3 hour drive= at least 50.00 gas

hotel room for 3 days minimum 50.00 a night- 150.00 and that's at a bare minimum most likely 300.00 350 dollars without food ok so now you eat out and since you're the man you pay for dinner eat + 2 dinner good dinner=at the very least probably about another 50.00 for one night dinner, breakfast maybe the hotel offers it for free if you wake up early enoguh *yeah right hahaha* so breakfast and lunch you're going to spend money on for 2 days which will probably be about another 20-30 per day if you ate by yourself so now you're looking at another 60 bucks.

Man I don't know too many people who are going to spend 500.00 on first meet and greet. That's a lot of money.

This doesn't include drinks to get to and from home. 3 hour drive I usually get 2 drinks plus an energy kicker or coffee going both ways I would spent about 10.00 bucks or so. This has no activities planned by the way or any type of gift or anything like that.

Like I said, I've flown across country before and spent 7 days in Houston with a girl, I spent 5 days in Austin with a girl, I spent maybe 7 days on 2 different trips to MD with a girl... I don't recall the amount of days with the mD girl because of the two seperate trips. I stayed at their places all of the times.

Like I said, my safety is worth more than $500 that you can place on a credit card. If it is important enough for the man to meet me, he will take the initiative and not put me into a position to compromise my own safety.

No sob stories or excuses.

I would simply move on as is my prerogative.

His safety is just as at risk that yours is.

Just because you're a woman doesn't mean women don't kill, sodomize men, or have really freaky ways of living in this world. All I'm saying is I would never ever ever ever ever spend 500 to meet someone no matter if sex was included in the deal or not. That is an absurd amount of money.

No one ever said that the man's safety is completely not at risk. The reality is that women tend to have greater concerns as it relates to kidnapping, assault, rape or some other form of physical attack.

Are there exceptions to that rule?

Of course.

If a man wants to meet me, he will accommodate my safety concerns as I would respect his own.

I would never agree to meet you so this is a moot point.

I'm not quite understanding you. Are you saying it's better to say "Even though I have no idea who you are, come and stay at my house for a couple of days so you can save money and I'll take my chances with you being a psycho."

I think "pushy, presumptuous, and dishonest" is more jerklike than "cautious and self-protective."

You have nothing to feel bad about.

I'm glad you used your gut feeling and caution. Kudos to you. Never let your guard down.

First of all I said I would never meet someone after 1 day of talking on the phone. However, I have met people and I have stayed at their house before on the very first time that we ever met. There are a total of 5 people who I have met through the internet that I slept at their house the very first time I ever met them. One person stayed at my house.

Did you just say you don't know... Here's a really funny story for ya truly think about it for a minute. Your mom brought you home from the hospital, she has no idea who the **** you're, all she knows is you're alive and have been living inside of her. There is no way to tell if you will grow up to be the next serial killer. Here's another thing, every person you will ever meet in your life, you will never ever ever know. You will be able to trust them if you let yourself do so, but you will never know them. You aren't a psychic, you aren't god and the only person that knows someone is themself. That is it, everything else can be a lie including the information you submit to your employer.

Also there is no rule that you can't have friends stay at your place to protect you. There is also no rule that you have to meet with him. You could easily say no and like I said it seemed wierd after one phone call or during the first phone call.

Check this out. How many people per weekend take a chance with a complete stranger who they met at the club or dance hall and took them home? Think about it for a minute seriously. You don't know anyone, not your husband, your boyfriend, your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your best friend or any of your friends. You never know what is inside of their head unless they tell you and then it could be a lie. Every single relationship is built on trust.

You seem to think that you can't use preventive methods to make yourself safe.

For one-why would you let someone drive to your house? First things first this person doesn't drive up to your place, you meet them in public first.

Second-you develop a trust with them in public before you do anything else with them *this doesn't guarentee safety but it helps*

Third-if at anytime during this part you feel unsafe why continue with the journey? Actually if you feel unsafe to begin why did you meet them?

Fourth-Bring friends no ones going to be mad about you bringing friends.

Fifth-develop an understanding of the person before you meet them. Like I don't know the guy says he works for blah blah blah simply ask to speak to his friends or managers to confirm this. It's not hard it only takes a couple of seconds.

Six- I have no idea how you met your previous boyfriends or girlfriends or lovers but chances are if you make a connection through the internet, you take a lot more time getting to know this person than you do with any of the people that you just said.

Seven-you could make it perfectly clear that if this person is lying they're going straight back where they came from. Like for instance their photo isn't real... They showed up as someone totally different.

I'd go on but it's absolutely pointless. The point I will finish this off with. Sure people on the internet do lie, sure people who you meet on the street do lie, but chances are through the internet meeting someone I'd say is about 200% safer than it is to meet someone at a ****ing bar when they're drunk as are you so your senses all kinds of screwed up. If not higher by the way.

I dont see the point to posting all of this? We ALL are entitled to our own standards of safety. As I have repeatedly stated, it matters not to me what you consider too much money to spend in the course of a introductory meeting with a woman.

That is my personal standard of safety and some might agree and others might not.

Why are you attempting to project your own criteria onto others and especially the females on forum? All internet dating methods have a certain level of inherent risk attached to them. We each have the right to minimize that risk as we determine suitable.

I would simply not choose to meet you and write you off immediately for the very reasons I stated.

I've seen some stupid replies made to post before, but this is about as stupid as you can get. How in the hell can you compare bringing home your newborn baby to this????

easily. If Hitler's mom knew who Hitler would become, do you honestly think she'd take him home? How about all of the mother's who have their kids shoot up the nearby school students? Most importantly the girl who just killed her kid and both parents were right behind her, defending her, oh and then they find the body.

Its the "rule of Hitler" Hitler will get mentioned in the course of any thread where a person has exhausted all means of relevant argumentation and rebuttal.

"Oh hey, well you are Hitler"

I don't take anything you say personal so for telling me that you're not bringing me home, I wasn't asking. I was conversing in conversation. I don't feel that someone needs to have 500 to spend on meeting through the internet because of distance. That's quite retarded.

"oh well you're from the internet i'll go whore myself off down the street at the local bar with a guy who will buy me 4-5 drinks of my favorite drink which might cost him 50 -100 bucks, I'll get drunk around a complete stranger and let him drive me home!"

Or how about this "I called a cab and the cab driver took me home now he knows where I live.... dun dun dun"

The paranoid people of this world are truly the most insecure people I've never met :). For good reason to, I can't stand shy people.

I just don't believe that someone should be forced to stay at a hotel if a possible friendship/relationship is forming. I mean that's why we have sleepovers as kids, that's why when we drink at a friend's house, we can crash on the couch, that's why when kids throw parties in college and people pass out on the couch, they aren't thrown into the street.

To be totally honest, I truly believe internet dating is the safest way of meeting people in this world. People are psychos don't care where you live, or who you live with they're ****ing nuts. You have granted yourself an opportunity to get to know a person before physical contact is even made, that's a pretty good sign things will work out because if you can handle distance and you can handle not returning calls on time or being around eachother every single second you generally have a good understanding of what you're for in the future.

You say there are risks. There are risks everywhere. You eliminate them to the best ability possible but if you're truly interested in someone it shouldn't matter how much money they have in their pocket. I just don't agree with having to spend over 500 dollars for a meet and greet which may go really badly on the third day you never know.. I also don't think you're any safer by him staying at a hotel unless you never intend to bring him anywhere near your home but that means he needs well over 500 unless you planning on going to his hotel? Are you a ****ing princess I'd love to meet someone who would spend well over 1,000 to meet a girl **** prostitutes don't make that much.

The money is irrelevant. It is you who are insecure so you are assuming that I am insisting that they spend money and that this really has nothing to do with my own personal safety.

That is hogwash.

How am I personally responsible for them living a great distance from me and requiring a hotel? How will the money they are forced to spend be beneficent to me in any way? They are not spending that money on me but on themselves.

I will not allow a man I just met on the internet to stay in my own place of residence for general safety reasons. What if the relationship does not go as he had planned and now he knows where I live?

Amy number of dangerous circumstances could arise.

It's always best to go with your gut feeling.

Myself if I was going to meet someone that lived 3 hours away I would want to meet them half way instead and plan a late lunch around 1-2 pm that way you could have lunch and time to talk and both would have plenty of time in order to drive back home. First meets can be awkard at times and best to not make the first time you meet a lengthy one.

I can see a weekend type situation if they live farther away and you have to fly or a very long drive but even then you don't force yourself upon them to stay with them.

But regardless anytime you feel as if your being pushed in a corner and something does not feel right most likely there is a reason why you are feeling that way. We should never ignore our gut feelings.

Oh no someone who lives 3 hours away from me knows where I live..., I'm gonna die now!!!! Are you serious? Hahahaha. I'm sorry but that is the funniest thing I have read in quite sometime.

How many relationships haven't worked out for you? How many lived closer than 3 hours away? Please post these so we all can show you some statistics.

You have a much greater chance of being killed by someone who lives closer and that you didn't spend as much time with than the internet guy. That's why I brought up the bar thing. You want to go with the church. should I bring that up? I mean churches go on to other churches for events and sleep overs. You're beyond insecure with that phrase by the way.

I want you to really think about this. The guy goes to his hotel, has driven 3 hours, met you somewhere to get to know you which means at least dinner he's hungry I'm sure. He has at the minimum or will at the minimum spend 500 dollars to meet you. But he's not welcome back at your house so again he must spend more gas money *I'm going to guess since you're so uncomfortable meeting this person that you're going to take 2 vehicles everywhere as well* going to places of your choice for possibly breakfast lunch and dinner for the next 2 nights. However, what else are you going to do for activities? I mean surely he didn't come 3 hours and get a hotel for 3 nights to sip coffee all day. Like I said, you're asking someone to spend well over 500 to spend time with you. A hooker charges about 300 if she's good looking per hour and 500 for a night. *my sister's one I sorta know the deal* Not only do they get to degrade this hooker, they **** her, and don't ever have to see her again. However, they just had a night of wild crazy sex and it cost a lot less than meeting you. It would be absurd for a girl who should be at the very least a very dear internet friend by now to ask for that kind of person. I just don't see how you think this compromises your safety.

As for money being irrelevant... Oh no it's totally relevant. Unless you're totally lonely in this world, can't get a date from anyone, have absolutely no friends whatsoever, and you have a buttload of cash, that is the only person you're ever meeting that lives over 3 hours away. Which would make them a potential psycho since the above criteria isn't a good fit for a potential lover.

Obviously this is coming from a man who has never been attacked or stalked or physically assaulted. That risk is quite real. What do you not understand about this?

Besides, what does YOUR PERSONAL criteria for preventative safety measures have to do with me? You are entitled to do whatever you please. I am asking that you not tell me that my own precautions are unwarranted. Perhaps I have had an issue arise. You would have no way of knowing what my past experiences have entailed exactly and why I take this position currently.

So....how 'bout them Packers!