jail may not be the answer but it is a deterrent

those comply who don't wish to go to jail

jmo

Merry almost Christmas

did you read my posts listing alternatives

it does not appear as tho you have

and its obvious that jail is not much of a deterrent

No sunshine I did read your other posts, did you read mine. We just dont agree on this matter, still you but we just don't agree

Jail deters some, not all - like court order are followed by some not all, visitation is followed by some not all, etc.

so rather than put them in a work program and make them pay their way

you would rather jail them thus putting a bigger strain on the taxpayer

you can believe that is a better way if you wish

logic does not always come thru

sometimes to me


sometimes to others

rather than come up with ideas

throw them in jail

and thus if the parent refuses to let other parent have their court ordered visitation they should be thrown in jail as well

he11 lets just through everyone in jail

then we would not have to worry about anything

I give you more credit than to play with words with me - Robin please, for I am a very logical woman (just dont agree with your logic) not disrespecting you at all.

Your program who is paying for it, who is hosting it, where is the money come from for this program, who shall work it, how would these people get paid, there are clerical fees, overheads, etc.

Yes, I truly believe in jailing them, the majority of the non custodial parents I personally know - either chose to not pay child support, would rather new this/that than supporting their child.

You steadfastly mention time and time again about those parents (yes there are some) that use the kids as a bargaining tool when it comes to visitation - but you forget about those that do allow the non custodial parent to visit and spend time w/child(ren) and those parents chose not too. We both see the problems but from different views - neither wrong in my opinion - but in your own words, what do I know


Guess it's all dependent on which end of the spectrum one has personally gone through.

I firmly believe all parents have the obligation and responsibility for the upbringing, financial responsibility, guidance, love, etc., of their children.

There will always be instances where one person doesn't agree, another sees things differently, but please do not try and call one's logic another one's lack of purpose or insight.

As for putting everyone in jail - thats just plain silly but will help the overpopulation

i also said if they chose not to be a part of the childs life then they would need to pay a higher amount

where does the money come from to put them in jail

instead have handing billions to corp ceos and such that money could be used to help alleviate the peoples problems

how do they pay for the projects they do now

can all the work be done by those in the program no

but a lot of it could

and this is not the optimal situation i agree

that is why they only get 80% pay and they pay for their life expenses out of that and get a small allowance and the rest goes towards their child support (and the back support)

if they have an outside job then they have to wear a gps and stay in close proximity and be on a parole type program

if they refuse to cooperate with the program then they go to jail

this is for the first time they would have been sent to jail

if they stay in the childs life they have lower support payment

if they choose by no ones fault but there own yes they pay a higher amount of support

if the custodial parent does not live up to their obligations then they loose custody and they enter the program above

if the non custodial parent is not in a position to take custody the custodial parent can have the option of keeping things as they are but will be given a gps unit to where and be enrolled into the probation type program

when it is scheduled visitation and the child is not where they are supposed to be then their is no choice they get put in the program above

Adj4u,

You said "if they stay in the childs life they have lower support payment" and "i also said if they chose not to be a part of the childs life then they would need to pay a higher amount"

That does not make sense to me. The child costs the same to raise in either case. If the person is around and pays lower payments is unfair to the caregiver. Why should they still have that financial burden? If the caregiver is a woman, they traditionally have lower paying jobs too.

Sunshine, we can at least agree to disagree, you have your way of thinking and I have mine. Differences should only make us more knowledgeable and receptive to others motives and actions. Again I stand by that it depends on which end of the spectrum one has lives, knows of others who have lived through and experienced, et al.

I truly cannot follow nor rationalize your thoughts as they jump around so much (but it could also be my liquid lunches effecting me )

Putting non compliant parents in jail - prevents them from making money, spending money, having fun, and having freedom (ie, freedom to neglect their financial obligations/their children) I speak for myself, but if I was on the edge of a cliff and was told if I took another step I'd fall off the cliff, I'd not take that step; but what do I know

no it is not because they can help with the extras

they pay the basic costs to care giver

if the child wants extras then the child has a relationship with both parents and both parents can supply the extras

if they are in their life they will want to have a better relationship with them

and they will have the joy of seeing the smile on the childs face when they give it to them

------

plz do not take this wrong

but if they know for a fact it i going to the child because they are doing it

they will feel better about doing it

how does jailing them pay the bill

does the support obligation stop when they are in jail

and under my plan jail is still a threat

and

their should not be two ends of the spectrum

to be objective you must look at it from the middle

it appears i jump around so much because i have to keep repeating things (and possibly from the liquid lunches)

""""""""""I speak for myself, but if I was on the edge of a cliff and was told if I took another step I'd fall off the cliff, I'd not take that step;""""""""""""""""

that line makes my point

if they are in the program and have the gps the next step is jail (the step off the cliff as you say)

Winx, like I mentioned to ADJ, guess it all boils down to what we have experienced, seen others experienced, and/or heard of the experiences of others.

For I agree with you, seems as if we should just issue the non custodial parent a free pass just by providing a check and that's supposed to make it all ok. But we know better as we lived it.

Children need more than money (yes money is needed to raise/rear a child and all parents should pony up on this obligation!), guidance, attention, love, nurturing, etc.

Good luck to all, for I am glad, happy and proud to say I did it all by myself. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fair, but I did what had to be done to make sure mine had hers.

Would I want any other custodial parents to go through the hardships I faced? NO.

""""""""Children need more than money (yes money is needed to raise/rear a child and all parents should pony up on this obligation!), guidance, attention, love, nurturing, etc. """"""

i agree 100% with that

they need both parents

and we need to figure out a way to make that happen

as it is now

it does not happen enough

there are still punishments for not paying

i gave no one a free pass

you saying that show 1 of 2 things

you are not reading the posts completely

or you can not understand them

if they can't make the money to pay their child support they shouldn't be allowed to make money for any 'extras' (money spent on other things besides their children)

do any of the bills we incur stop because we stop making money - no - should it then not be in our best interest to make sure we pay all our bills?

After all if you dont pay your light bill, guess what they are going to cut your lights off, if you don't pay your rent, you will be evicted, if you don't pay your mortgage, you will be foreclosed - this is my way of thinking.

Objectivity is not gained by viewing things in the middle as I have a knowledge of somethings, you on others, neither one of us wrong.

And to further add, two people can view the exact same thing and get two diverse, different views, whether you look at it straight, at an angle etc., our experiences do prejudice our beliefs. No sunshine, I was only kidding about the liquid lunch (water is all I drink ). I just don't agree with your train of thought. Personal attack absolutely not, personal opinion definitely.

never been accused of having a simple mind - but what do I know

read all posts - stand by my opinion just as you do yours

maybe you can type slower so I can understand better

I think it is you that don't want to understand my version or my opinion, but that too is ok

What you consider extras, I do not. It's part of raising the child.

"If the child wants extras then the child has a relationship with both parents and both parents can supply the extras."

It is not up to the child!

Fran,

I've done it all too. It changed about a year ago. The Dad pays support now and half of the sports, scouts, etc. This is of his own free will.

Things are easier now. But..child support, as we know, doesn't even pay half of what it costs to raise a child.

It stinks that jail has to even be considered but unfortunately it needs to be that way. It's called consequences for one's actions. That's called being an adult.

I'm glad he chose to participate that's great. There should be more like him.

Fran,

It took over 10 yrs.

I'm not asking for arrears though.

I hear you, it's not easy, took over 10 years but you have come to the decision not to seek arrearage, personal choice, I respect it.

Good luck to you and all others doing what's right on behalf of your/the kids -

I finished (yayyy, never truly finish) but she's an adult, a great 23 year old, hardworking, conscientious and responsible young woman.