give it lots of thought and make the right decision for you and your family.

your decisions will affect your entire family


good luck to you

Listen, you've been bashed, by me as well. I think a lot of us here who come from bad marriages understand your frustrations etc. But, to be perfectly honest, cheating hurts everyone, including and maybe mostly, yourself. You have to live with your conscience and sometimes, that's not an easy thing to do. Forgiving yourself is much, much harder than forgiving someone else. If your wife won't go to marriage counseling, perhaps a few sessions on your own might help you clarify your thoughts and feelings and hopefully steer you away from a very self-destructive act.

"Whatever".. your a married man that created a profile on a singles dating site.. You PLAN on doing SOMETHING.. and I'm quite sure this isn't the only site you have posted to.

And by the way.. just the "thought" of cheating IS cheating!

i wasnt trying to bash you....all i was saying is dont cheat your kids if anything... no i dont condone cheating on a partner either .... but staying together for the kids and doing something so destructive <as cheating> to a family is not right is all i am saying...

jeeze...lots of self-rightous bashing going on here. Im reminded that people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.....

Thanks for all of the insight. It is greatly appreciated.

Agreed that many get on a high horse...but would like to think that most when passionate about such a serious subject would practice what they preach

I was in a similar situation to the OP regarding my marriage, role as Mr. Mom etc, and I never even considered cheating. All I had to do was look at my kids and think of the example I was setting for them.

We preferred to end our marriage rather than continue a charade. We are good friends to this day and my daughters are growing up to be wonderful young ladies who are making good choices.

I do not live in a glass house and have no problem bashing the OP. Wanna fight???

All I can say is, there has been a lot of great feedback here. If you get caught and lose your house, wife, access to the kids, is some 'strange' worth it? Would you not be happier doing everything, and I mean everything to fix your marriage first?

How would you feel if your wife cheated on you?

MsTeddy brought up marriage counseling, which is a superb idea. You cannot fix what is wrong within your marriage by bringing an outside person to one side of it. Especially a paramour.

Sit down with your wife. Tell her how you feel and that you want to fix it. If you don't, get a divorce. But don't seriously say you are considering breaking your vows and disrespecting your wife and family as you have needs that are unfulfilled. Come on.

Having your cake and eating it too results in a need for way more than Pepto Bismol.

I don't live in a glass house..... but I HAVE been cheated on TWICE. I KNOW how his wife would feel.. you can't even describe those feeling into words.

How would YOU feel if your significant other were to be on a dating website??? (if you had one) Would you want people to encourage them or deter them?

im not single anymore and im on here.... but im not looking either lol i have friends on here... as a matter of fact hes on here too i guess you have to have trust and a good relationship... lots of people on here arent single

I have a bag of rocks...

But as you said.. neither of you are "looking" ... this thread started out he was "looking" for married women.

I should've known.... Perhaps we can come up with an alternative solution to our disagreement?

been there...both sides of the coin...not my place to comment or make an opinion about the OPs motives..he just asked a question and everyone got down on him..nobody is better than anyone else...it would behoove us to remember that....

I have a bag of rocks...


I should've known.... Perhaps we can come up with an alternative solution to our disagreement?


theres no disagreement, I actually agree with much of whats been said, I just dont think it needed to be said....

I should've known.... Perhaps we can come up with an alternative solution to our disagreement?


theres no disagreement, I actually agree with much of whats been said, I just dont think it needed to be said....



I did, hence the disagreement. I think he was looking for someone to sign off on the path he is taking.

Good point!

3 sides. Yours, mine, and the truth....

Final thoughts...

After years of marriage and especially after having children.. we tend to lose some of the "spark" in a relationship. We are no longer just husband/wife..we carry the title of "parents".. but it's up to ourselves to bring that spark back. It had to have been there or you never would have married the person to begin with. We sometimes take things for granted, even the smallest things. Try saying "I love you" more.. try doing the smallest things for one another that you know would be appreciated. Take yourselves back in time to when you were dating.. Plan a romantic date, a night out, anything! Have an inlaw take the kids overnight/for a weekend..whatever time you two can spare. There are lot's of alternatives to help a marriage other than cheating.