Community > General Discussion

Topic: Hmmm.....Just Wondering
izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Wed 07/23/08 08:59 AM Edited by izzie on Wed 07/23/08 09:13 AM
ok... wow.. ihave a lot to say about this thread. to the OP first, if you arenot happy, before you concider cheateing, ESPECIALY BECAUSE of the children, talk to your spouse, go to counceling, do anything that there is to do to fix the marage if you are determined to stay. second, again BECAUSE of the kids, do NOT cheat!! leave the relationship first. no matter the age, if the cheating is cought then your children grow up thinking that ether "everyone cheats, whats the point in a relatinship" or "everyone cheats so its ok if i do to" third.. remeber that EVERY choice that you make is a decision that is made for a FAMILY!!! that was the choice you made when you said I DO. if you want to cheat on your FAMILY then go forward with what you are doing.. if not.. fix it or leave!!! adn fourth... if you cannot or are not wlling t fix it.. LEAVE!!! do not put your children through that horribleness that will result if you do choose to cheat!! as for everyone else.. not everyone here would be throwing stones in a glass house here.. i have NEVER cheated in a relationship in my life.. yet have been cheated on in EVERY past relationship that there is.. and yes.. my children saw the effects of that cheating on me.. i currently have a wonderful bf who i honestly dont think could cheat on me if he wanted to.. hes to honest.however, if he did.. he would find himself in the same place as the rest of my exes.. GONE! jmo

sparkleplenty424 Joined Mon 07/21/08 Posts: 463	Wed 07/23/08 09:02 AM
Maybe she just doesn't love him anymore and just wants to stay married for the kids. Maybe he is lonely and justs needs some human contact without having to pay for it by losing his home, half his salary and 401K, and the right to live with his kids every day and spend all holidays with him. He wants to feel human again without disrupting everyone's lives. people are so judgemental.

wiley Joined Thu 12/13/07 Posts: 19738	Wed 07/23/08 09:02 AM
Maybe she just doesn't love him anymore and just wants to stay married for the kids. Maybe he is lonely and justs needs some human contact without having to pay for it by losing his home, half his salary and 401K, and the right to live with his kids every day and spend all holidays with him. He wants to feel human again without disrupting everyone's lives. people are so judgemental. Prostitution is legal in Nevada. Just saying.

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Wed 07/23/08 09:03 AM
Final thoughts... After years of marriage and especially after having children.. we tend to lose some of the "spark" in a relationship. We are no longer just husband/wife..we carry the title of "parents".. but it's up to ourselves to bring that spark back. It had to have been there or you never would have married the person to begin with. We sometimes take things for granted, even the smallest things. Try saying "I love you" more.. try doing the smallest things for one another that you know would be appreciated. Take yourselves back in time to when you were dating.. Plan a romantic date, a night out, anything! Have an inlaw take the kids overnight/for a weekend..whatever time you two can spare. There are lot's of alternatives to help a marriage other than cheating. dates are always needed even after the children have gone

sparkleplenty424 Joined Mon 07/21/08 Posts: 463	Wed 07/23/08 09:06 AM
Maybe she just doesn't love him anymore and just wants to stay married for the kids. Maybe he is lonely and justs needs some human contact without having to pay for it by losing his home, half his salary and 401K, and the right to live with his kids every day and spend all holidays with him. He wants to feel human again without disrupting everyone's lives. people are so judgemental. Prostitution is legal in Nevada. Just saying. so if your spouse no longer desires you, your only option is prostitution? That is kinda sad. He is in a very lonely place, and yes, what he is considering is technically "wrong"; but we make many decisions on a daily basis that skate on the edge of right and wrong. He does not want his kids to have to split the holidays or deal with parents who live in two different homes; that is commendable. But he also does not want to go the rest of his life without ever being touched again. Cut the guy some slack.

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Wed 07/23/08 09:07 AM
Maybe she just doesn't love him anymore and just wants to stay married for the kids. Maybe he is lonely and justs needs some human contact without having to pay for it by losing his home, half his salary and 401K, and the right to live with his kids every day and spend all holidays with him. He wants to feel human again without disrupting everyone's lives. people are so judgemental. Prostitution is legal in Nevada. Just saying. Cut the guy some slack. Nope.

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Wed 07/23/08 09:08 AM
Cut the guy some slack. The only person who has the ability to cut this guy anything is God, himself, and his wife.

Mikey117 Joined Mon 11/20/06 Posts: 23736	Wed 07/23/08 09:11 AM Edited by Mikey117 on Wed 07/23/08 09:13 AM
the last 3 years of my marriage was not pleasant but I NEVER once considered cheating, not only for my family but for myself!! When it did end, I could honestly look back and KNOW I was faithful to the end!!!

wiley Joined Thu 12/13/07 Posts: 19738	Wed 07/23/08 09:12 AM
Maybe she just doesn't love him anymore and just wants to stay married for the kids. Maybe he is lonely and justs needs some human contact without having to pay for it by losing his home, half his salary and 401K, and the right to live with his kids every day and spend all holidays with him. He wants to feel human again without disrupting everyone's lives. people are so judgemental. Prostitution is legal in Nevada. Just saying. so if your spouse no longer desires you, your only option is prostitution? That is kinda sad. He is in a very lonely place, and yes, what he is considering is technically "wrong"; but we make many decisions on a daily basis that skate on the edge of right and wrong. He does not want his kids to have to split the holidays or deal with parents who live in two different homes; that is commendable. But he also does not want to go the rest of his life without ever being touched again. Cut the guy some slack. Yeah you're right. Homewrecking is obviously the better option. What was I thinking?

izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Wed 07/23/08 09:12 AM
Cut the guy some slack. The only person who has the ability to cut this guy anything is God, himself, and his wife. and if she knows about any of this, i dont know that he wouldwant her to have any sharp objects near him

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4886	Wed 07/23/08 09:14 AM
Are there not any married women on this site who are looking? Seems as tho when I posted that I was a MWM I became a untouchable. Aren't we all looking for the same? Something missing in life. ie: Passion, touch, desire, want, etc. I think there are a lot of seperated people...thats about the same thing. Good luck

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Wed 07/23/08 09:14 AM
Well, teeth are a sharp object, right?

wiley Joined Thu 12/13/07 Posts: 19738	Wed 07/23/08 09:15 AM
Random acts of bludgeoning also work.

izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Wed 07/23/08 09:15 AM
Well, teeth are a sharp object, right? to true... but i think of teeth as more of a "tearing" than a cutting...

broncosrock Joined Wed 06/25/08 Posts: 300	Wed 07/23/08 09:18 AM
I dated a guy for 2 YEARS that said he was divorced, and he was as married as can be, and lived with his wife, right in this same town! We were out of town every weekend, and he wanted to do something every night (I need my space). He's VP of the second largest company in this City, and I'd been to his office, met some of his friends, etc. I found out purely accidentally FINALLY that he was married, the SOB! I couldn't believe it! I ended up feeling like the one with no morals, due to his deception! At least if people cheat, they should let the person know they're married, so they don't turn someone into an adultress that didn't want to be! There are plenty of people with equally loose morals that would date them whether they were married or not, so leave the rest of us alone. I wanted to call his wife anonymously and apologize---I felt so awful! Boy, could I have loaded her up with 2 years of love letters, mushy cards, etc. that the jerk gave me. Can't have been much of a marriage as little time as he could have spent with her, but it was still a marriage! Jerk! Think I'll run a background check on anyone before I ever date again. Sorry, still makes me livid when I think about it!

Jules0565 Joined Fri 06/06/08 Posts: 4485	Wed 07/23/08 09:21 AM
the last 3 years of my marriage was not pleasant but I NEVER once considered cheating, not only for my family but for myself!! When it did end, I could honestly look back and KNOW I was faithful to the end!!! Great guy!!

Jules0565 Joined Fri 06/06/08 Posts: 4485	Wed 07/23/08 09:21 AM
Final thoughts... After years of marriage and especially after having children.. we tend to lose some of the "spark" in a relationship. We are no longer just husband/wife..we carry the title of "parents".. but it's up to ourselves to bring that spark back. It had to have been there or you never would have married the person to begin with. We sometimes take things for granted, even the smallest things. Try saying "I love you" more.. try doing the smallest things for one another that you know would be appreciated. Take yourselves back in time to when you were dating.. Plan a romantic date, a night out, anything! Have an inlaw take the kids overnight/for a weekend..whatever time you two can spare. There are lot's of alternatives to help a marriage other than cheating. dates are always needed even after the children have gone Agreed

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Wed 07/23/08 09:23 AM
Well, teeth are a sharp object, right? to true... but i think of teeth as more of a "tearing" than a cutting... Ohh, good point.

Jules0565 Joined Fri 06/06/08 Posts: 4485	Wed 07/23/08 09:24 AM
I dated a guy for 2 YEARS that said he was divorced, and he was as married as can be, and lived with his wife, right in this same town! We were out of town every weekend, and he wanted to do something every night (I need my space). He's VP of the second largest company in this City, and I'd been to his office, met some of his friends, etc. I found out purely accidentally FINALLY that he was married, the SOB! I couldn't believe it! I ended up feeling like the one with no morals, due to his deception! At least if people cheat, they should let the person know they're married, so they don't turn someone into an adultress that didn't want to be! There are plenty of people with equally loose morals that would date them whether they were married or not, so leave the rest of us alone. I wanted to call his wife anonymously and apologize---I felt so awful! Boy, could I have loaded her up with 2 years of love letters, mushy cards, etc. that the jerk gave me. Can't have been much of a marriage as little time as he could have spent with her, but it was still a marriage! Jerk! Think I'll run a background check on anyone before I ever date again. Sorry, still makes me livid when I think about it! umm.. had you ever gone to his home??

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Wed 07/23/08 09:24 AM
Married? WTF?? Why don't you try putting the "SPARK" back into your MARRIAGE.. I'm SURE your WIFE would appreciate it!!! I think I saw his wife on that LONELY housewife site!