Yep, have had that happen but I look at it this way, his loss, I moved on and found a good man

I'm with you bad_girl

Honestly, if its over its over. No-body owes anyone an explanation at all. I do know that if it ends really fast and if you were getting along really good...sometimes it does leave you asking question about why it ended. Obviously both of you were not on the same page about the relationship so don't keep beating yourself up about it.
Sometimes you just have to let things go and pick yourself up and move on

Can someone politely explain why people have the need for explanations, reasons, etc., when a relationship dies?

While in a relationship if your significant other, your partner, your lover, bf/gf, husband/wife wakes up and decides he/she has had enough and wants out. What good would an explanation, reason, excuse be? What purpose will it fulfill save for validation?

Hmmmmmm. Why do we need closure? Because there's nothing more worse, degrading, and embarassing than an ex showing up at your front door at 3am in a leapord miniskirt drunk, crying, mascara running yelling "WHY? WHY? WHY?" Wounded animal syndrome doesn't go over well in my neighborhood.

for instance a silly example... she says its cause you dont put the toilet seat down... well so whos fault is it? his or hers? cause in that case he may think she is just plain nit picky... facts are who cares? whos fault that is?

hiya {{{lilith}}} thanks for participating, closure queen

Quick hypothetical question, if you are not given the explanation/excuse or reason you seek, can you still find closure?

Absoluteky I can. I find it within myself and through conversations with friends. I suppose closure, to me, is part of my wanting to make sure things are right and that I exhibited the behavior that I would want shown to me. The golden rule, I suppose.

Closure is when the court documents are signed. Judgements are reached. Affidavits and sworn statements are finished. And declarations and restraining orders are posted in the paper.

....after that if you need to know anymore "Why's?" I feel you need to see a clinical psychologist.

I have an idiot savant freind who has been argueing with his ex for 17 years over closure and reasons they broke up. A few months ago they tried to put me in the middle of the arguement. That flew like a lead balloon. They asked me why they broke up. I looked at him and said "Because you're a drunk." and I looked at her and said "Because you're a whore." They haven't asked me one question since. He wakes up with a beer in his hand. She's slept with everything with a penis and a heartbeat in the area and got caught 50 times. Yeah its hard to keep a straight face when their daughter walks up and says "Daddy? What's a venerial disease?" "Why would you ask that honey?" "Because I got a call from the doctor saying moms got one again." ouch!

but once again its just my opinion from what I've observed. Nothing funnier than two drunks argueing on a street corner at 3am about why their marriage broke up 10 years ago and neither will let it go- they have been argueing about the "Why's?" for the whole 10 years. Neither moves on.

I have an idiot savant freind who has been argueing with his ex for 17 years over closure and reasons they broke up. A few months ago they tried to put me in the middle of the arguement. That flew like a lead balloon. They asked me why they broke up. I looked at him and said "Because you're a drunk." and I looked at her and said "Because you're a whore." They haven't asked me one question since. He wakes up with a beer in his hand. She's slept with everything with a penis and a heartbeat in the area and got caught 50 times. Yeah its hard to keep a straight face when their daughter walks up and says "Daddy? What's a venerial disease?" "Why would you ask that honey?" "Because I got a call from the doctor saying moms got one again." ouch!

...I told him "Have another beer, you will feel better."