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| Topic: CLOSURE | |
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 cant we all just get along
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Um...
Closure... i.e. Please tell me what is wrong so I can agonize over it till I die, argue with you till I'm blue in the face about why you are wrong about your reasons and otherwise never let the thing go. If you allways have sought closure from the person you are leaving behind and it didn't work perhaps it is time to try a new thing. Closure. Its over. Didn't work. Oh well... Anyone ever wondered just how many people of the opposite sex are out there on this planet with over 4 BILLION people. The posibilities for a wonderful find are quite good. |
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I agree
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BxEAudsb9c 
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very eloquently put AdventureBegins
Funny but true 
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Can someone politely explain why people have the need for explanations, reasons, etc., when a relationship dies? While in a relationship if your significant other, your partner, your lover, bf/gf, husband/wife wakes up and decides he/she has had enough and wants out. What good would an explanation, reason, excuse be? What purpose will it fulfill save for validation? I would think it is nice to know the reason or reasons why a relatioship did not work and did not last . If it is our faults we try to change and if it their faults then screw them . |
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Why change simply because someone else did not see in us what we see in ourselves.
If we must change the way we are how are we to attract the person that is right for us. The moment we change for one person we are no longer us. |
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Can someone politely explain why people have the need for explanations, reasons, etc., when a relationship dies? While in a relationship if your significant other, your partner, your lover, bf/gf, husband/wife wakes up and decides he/she has had enough and wants out. What good would an explanation, reason, excuse be? What purpose will it fulfill save for validation? I would think it is nice to know the reason or reasons why a relatioship did not work and did not last . If it is our faults we try to change and if it their faults then screw them . Agreed it would be nice. But is it a necessity or will it help ease the pain, do you feel it is owed? I dont think so.JMO Question, if someone decides they no longer want to be with you, what would assigning blame do? does it matter whose fault it is in the end? would you really take that persons excuse/explanation at face value(afterall they just broke up with you)? |
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Can someone politely explain why people have the need for explanations, reasons, etc., when a relationship dies? While in a relationship if your significant other, your partner, your lover, bf/gf, husband/wife wakes up and decides he/she has had enough and wants out. What good would an explanation, reason, excuse be? What purpose will it fulfill save for validation? I would think it is nice to know the reason or reasons why a relatioship did not work and did not last . If it is our faults we try to change and if it their faults then screw them . Agreed it would be nice. But is it a necessity or will it help ease the pain, do you feel it is owed? I dont think so.JMO Question, if someone decides they no longer want to be with you, what would assigning blame do? does it matter whose fault it is in the end? would you really take that persons excuse/explanation at face value(afterall they just broke up with you)? I think it makes a lot of difference specially if you still love the person . when you know the reasons , if it is your fault you will try to change that but if it is their fault then you just carry on with your life as you can only change yourself but not others . |
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everyone feels emotions to some degree.....yes everyone!!!
not all people show the same ones , but it is still an emotion. when dealing with the loss of a loved one people usually go through the five stages of grief. 1. anger 2.sadness 3.blame 4. loss/ confussion 5.laughter you cant say how you will react.....until you suffer that loss, and each loss will be different. why do you need a reason??? only you can answer that!!!! |
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everyone feels emotions to some degree.....yes everyone!!! not all people show the same ones , but it is still an emotion. when dealing with the loss of a loved one people usually go through the five stages of grief. 1. anger 2.sadness 3.blame 4. loss/ confusion 5.laughter you cant say how you will react.....until you suffer that loss, and each loss will be different. why do you need a reason??? only you can answer that!!!! I ask because I don't need a reason (speaking only of myself); I don't need an explanation; I just don't need the extra info. I have both loved and lost loved ones. When in a relationship, if my partner, lover, b/f, husband no longer wants to be with me, that is all the info I need. I am all for working at all relationships, but feel when one party has expressed their desires to end, it doesnt matter the reason he no longer wishes to be there, that's enough for me. I ask the question regarding the need for a reason because it truly doesnt compute in my brain. |
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Can someone politely explain why people have the need for explanations, reasons, etc., when a relationship dies? While in a relationship if your significant other, your partner, your lover, bf/gf, husband/wife wakes up and decides he/she has had enough and wants out. What good would an explanation, reason, excuse be? What purpose will it fulfill save for validation? I would think it is nice to know the reason or reasons why a relatioship did not work and did not last . If it is our faults we try to change and if it their faults then screw them . Agreed it would be nice. But is it a necessity or will it help ease the pain, do you feel it is owed? I dont think so.JMO Question, if someone decides they no longer want to be with you, what would assigning blame do? does it matter whose fault it is in the end? would you really take that persons excuse/explanation at face value(afterall they just broke up with you)? I think it makes a lot of difference specially if you still love the person . when you know the reasons , if it is your fault you will try to change that but if it is their fault then you just carry on with your life as you can only change yourself but not others . Sam, I believe it takes two people in love to make any relationship work. When only one party is in love or loves the other it becomes quite dysfunctional in my eyes. Nothing wrong with loving another thats actually a great part of life. You are not the first to mention make changes to yourself,but why accept another's explanation as good enough to make changes to yourself. Why assume this person is judge and jury over the person you are or should become? Least that's just how I see it, if wrong please elaborate. |
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everyone feels emotions to some degree.....yes everyone!!! not all people show the same ones , but it is still an emotion. when dealing with the loss of a loved one people usually go through the five stages of grief. 1. anger 2.sadness 3.blame 4. loss/ confusion 5.laughter you cant say how you will react.....until you suffer that loss, and each loss will be different. why do you need a reason??? only you can answer that!!!! I ask because I don't need a reason (speaking only of myself); I don't need an explanation; I just don't need the extra info. I have both loved and lost loved ones. When in a relationship, if my partner, lover, b/f, husband no longer wants to be with me, that is all the info I need. I am all for working at all relationships, but feel when one party has expressed their desires to end, it doesnt matter the reason he no longer wishes to be there, that's enough for me. I ask the question regarding the need for a reason because it truly doesnt compute in my brain. !!! for you just told me you have never truely loved at all.......
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everyone feels emotions to some degree.....yes everyone!!! not all people show the same ones , but it is still an emotion. when dealing with the loss of a loved one people usually go through the five stages of grief. 1. anger 2.sadness 3.blame 4. loss/ confusion 5.laughter you cant say how you will react.....until you suffer that loss, and each loss will be different. why do you need a reason??? only you can answer that!!!! I ask because I don't need a reason (speaking only of myself); I don't need an explanation; I just don't need the extra info. I have both loved and lost loved ones. When in a relationship, if my partner, lover, b/f, husband no longer wants to be with me, that is all the info I need. I am all for working at all relationships, but feel when one party has expressed their desires to end, it doesnt matter the reason he no longer wishes to be there, that's enough for me. I ask the question regarding the need for a reason because it truly doesnt compute in my brain. !!! for you just told me you have never truely loved at all.......
no sunshine, you totally wrong. I have truly loved with every ounce of my being, still love him (just not in the same way now), but that's my own personal saga 
And please never feel sorry for me, for it will take you away from doing positive and fun things in life. I have no regrets in life all were learning experiences.
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Fran, maybe some relationships end on a note where no closure is necessary. Maybe we have just not seen those situations where we might feel a need for closure yet. I hope we never do. Personally there were no questions as to the ends of my past relationships, so there was nothing to question.
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Fran, maybe some relationships end on a note where no closure is necessary. Maybe we have just not seen those situations where we might feel a need for closure yet. I hope we never do. Personally there were no questions as to the ends of my past relationships, so there was nothing to question.
I was starting to feel as though I was weird or strange, people were quick to judge me but that's ok. |
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I don't think your weird Sista ((((Fran)))
I think it is a well thought out topic,,how refreshing 
Doesn't compute in this simple hippie mind either. Although, I will confess in my emotional insecurites of back in the day, I ALWAYS wanted to know the "reason" Now I realize, yes, I want a reason, but not from someone else. From me. My "core" Was it a standard I wouldn't compromise? Or maybe a wart on my core I had to dig the crap off of? Or simply not that grain of sand that will wash up beside me on the shore someday Peace
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I don't think your weird Sista ((((Fran)))
I think it is a well thought out topic,,how refreshing
Doesn't compute in this simple hippie mind either. Although, I will confess in my emotional insecurites of back in the day, I ALWAYS wanted to know the "reason" Now I realize, yes, I want a reason, but not from someone else. From me. My "core" Was it a standard I wouldn't compromise? Or maybe a wart on my core I had to dig the crap off of? Or simply not that grain of sand that will wash up beside me on the shore someday Peace
Thank you soo much {{{{Peekinin}}}} while many have misunderstood my lack of need, some have even commented on my personal life  without knowing me good thing I don't let things get to me.
thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I am not alone!!!!!!!! There are others like me
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Two of us?
 
That could be a SCARY thing    
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Two of us?
That could be a SCARY thing
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The world is not ready for more!!!
You rock!!! I think our count is up to 3 not 2..
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