"And you the epitome of womanliness," replied Blueballz,raising his eyebrow seductivly and making googly eyes, now spinning around the dancefloor with the princess tucked into his glorious portliness.

hey johnny do you have anymore dirty martinis

why thank you says Princess while touching Zen's manly arm seductively...

A Texan buys a round of drinks for the entire bar, announcing that his wife has just produced “a typical Texas” baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around, along with many exclamations of “Wow!”

Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says, “Say, you’re the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?”

The proud father answers, “Seventeen pounds.”

The bartender, puzzled and concerned, asks, “Why? What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth.”

The Texas father takes a slow swig from his longneck beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, “Had him circumcised.”

Bluballz Biggie pulled Princess closer, enjoying her warmth. His lucious lips caressing hers with a soft, lingering kiss, contradictory to his enormous size.

Princess blushes.... Unfortunately it is time for her to take care of business needs... she gives Biggie a kiss on the cheek and thanks him for the dance... I'll be back later handsome...

While waiting on the bartender, (and to take the focus off my grand entrance), I ask the guy beside me if he would like to hear a joke.

"Sure" he says...

Well....

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr," the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..........

"I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!"

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.

After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.

After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

While waiting on the bartender, (and to take the focus off my grand entrance), I ask the guy beside me if he would like to hear a joke.

"Sure" he says...

Well....

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr," the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..........

"I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!"

Well hello Danny.....can I buy you a drink?