you need two more to laugh at this and you get $1000!

A man went into a bar after work and ordered a beer. As he started drinking his beer, he heard a female voise saying seductively, 'You've got nice hair'. The man looked all around him but couldn't see where the voice came from. A minute later he heard the same voice saying, 'You are a handsome man.' The man was really puzzled by this so he asked the barman what was going on.
The barman replied, 'It's the nuts - they're complimentary.'

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".

The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

Here is todays LOOOVE LESSONS from Blueballz. Read the story and learn young uns!

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.


The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll
be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc...

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop ... but at the bar ... you know ... they
have frozen glasses ..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug
out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvre's that are really delicious ... I won't be
long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvre's, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvre's: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know ... there's swearing, dirty words and all that."

The wife replied, "You want dirty words, cutie pie? ... "LISTEN UP, ****HEAD! DRINK YOUR ****ING BEER IN YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER ****ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

... and, they lived happily ever after.

Now isn't that a sweet story?

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".

The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.

You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!

You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.

You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.

You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.

You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"

You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!

Casanova Tazmo, must leave the bar for now ...Leans in and gives another peck on princess's cheeck. And says, I hope I'll be seeing you again soon. My heart is broken but my eyes are opened...and my senses have been lifted to new levels.
Ive enjoyed your touch and kindness, it has my heart beating like a big brass band.

Here is todays LOOOVE LESSONS from Blueballz. Read the story and learn young uns!

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.


The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll
be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc...

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop ... but at the bar ... you know ... they
have frozen glasses ..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug
out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvre's that are really delicious ... I won't be
long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvre's, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvre's: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know ... there's swearing, dirty words and all that."

The wife replied, "You want dirty words, cutie pie? ... "LISTEN UP, ****HEAD! DRINK YOUR ****ING BEER IN YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER ****ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

... and, they lived happily ever after.

Now isn't that a sweet story?

<<Looks around.............any guys wanna dance?????


Callie, i need a shot of crown hon....

Strong arms take control of Nerdy Elvira even before the words are finished. Blueballz starts tangoiing, tossing, twisting and doing one handed lifts....

With his other arm he grabs princess, spinning her across the floor. <jazz hands>>

Princess enjoys Zens strong arms... "wow aren't you a picture of strength and manliness"...