Communication is the key....From a very very young age start.....and then it's just becomes a habit.....My 16 year old daughter went through stages...it's part of growing up...hormones are running rampant and they just don't know what to do with it. I have also learned to listen to their language...because as much as we all know that we were there also...It is still different for them then it was for us.

I also have had to get chest to chest. I am 5"5 she is 6" so I have had to do this a few times to show her who is boss. When she get mouthy or disrespectful......it's a no go and she will suffer the consequences of her actions. It is very very very very important to be consistant....But also very important to have respect from your kids. If you want respect you must also give it....

So I would say


Communication


Consistant


And done with love.....never anger.

I have a 13 yr old boy...good luck. Because in our world there is no doctor phil or murray. If there was birth control for boys i would put him on it. I can only stop him from destroying another childs life. No birth control for boys though. You can try to stop and show her luv, but we are on a up hill battle. Either put her on birth control (not the pill or patch) or end up grandma.

He gives new meaning to their motto "to serve and protect", not to mention is an embarrassment to the older, wiser,and more experienced police officers out there.

BOOTCAMP!!!

I can't belive someone would say the above. I have seen far far worse come out of rebellion then this.....for shame whoever wrote the above.....And the prayer warrior is on it.....so get ready mom........will not cease until your baby is well......and remember mom to help yourself.....so that the cycle stops with her.....

like seriously, people have to bash me and call me ignorant? i explained my point, i feel a spanking could help a child. and i really dont believe in adhd or add because its a recent thing...noone really had it when i went to school which was only 6 years ago...no disrespect to anyone or anything its simply my point of veiw. no disrespect to anyone.

I am having a similar problem with my child. If you had said to me what you said to this struggling mom, I would have cried my eyes out; and it would not have helped me. You have to think about what you are saying to people. These are real people with feelings and fears, etc. on the end of these posts. That was her very first post, and she was reaching out. Try to be a little softer in your delivery.

i will appoligize again. i was very very abrasive and mean. and it was typed in a very harsh manor. again i am sorry. i should have rephrased every single thing i wrote in this post. it just really upsets me about kids like that, especially after losing my sister. and especially seeing it be a struggling young mother. again i am sorry

you live and you learn.

I have mellowed a lot in my time here.

Bull. People had it 6 yrs. ago. They had it alot longer than that. They just didn't advertise it to you. It's not something that people brag about, you know. I know people in their late 30's that have been taking meds for it since they were kids.

Please educate yourself on this issue. You work with the public.

ADHD and ADD are documented in medical books as being legitimate diagnoses. Check the DSM - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual book. It contains diagnosis and symptoms. Doctors use this book.

The fact that there are medicines designed specifically and only for ADD and ADHD should at least give you some clue to their being a legitimate disorder.

but you can believe people will suggest to violence to deal with this??!!

i just re-read the whole thread....my comments are mild in light of the cops and marines in here....

Americaman...was more articulate in stating what i have also said...that the problem started long ago and something shifted on a deep level. something drover her from what she always believed was safe and good...now she wants to find it ALL out for herself.

what does that action say?

to me it says i have no more respect for your opinion , rule, standard.

I HAVE A 14 yr old daughter! and a 24 yr old son and a 35 yr old daughter...i've done this puberty thing 3 times in completely different environments and 10 years apart means even the drugs are different as well...luckily my kids are all cool and responsible and conscious...but there was a moment that lasted 4 years when i wondered about my son. he got involved with a girl...his first love and she became his authority on life and EVERYTHING...

i told him they could do their little dance but not under my roof...i almost emotionally lost my son to her... but luckily where we live we don't have the same level crime or hard drug use....


all i can say is look into yourself...you most likely know when you two started to drift apart...

the hypocrisy i mentioned is all around you and her...have you looked at society lately
?? at how people treat each other...how much selfrespect do you have...what kind of example are you for her? does she look up to you? is she proud of you?

i am the example for my kids...i am responsible...not their friends not the society...at the end of the day it is my example my upbringing that will give them the values and strength to live by those values ...no matter who or what interferes...the fact that i walk the walk says most of it to them. i practice what i preach and i don't exploit my kids by having them live up to MY expectations...

i have never used violence and i wholeheartedly am against it on all levels...communication...support..personal integrity and honesty...the same building blocks for any relationship

oh yea and humour...gotta have a strong sense of humour....so before ya'all bash me for my ideas ....

remember i am allowed my opinion and my evidence lives in 3 amazing human beings

so feral we agree......and my post said basically the same thing...it starts early....so if it's going wrong now...well too little too late.

I disagree. A child is NEVER a lost cause. There is always hope.

no one is ever a lost cause. her process just has changed, and as with any 'dis-ease' that has come to a certain level, prevention is no longer an issue, healing is what needs to happen and all parties must be willing to take the medicine

this facilitates in a number of ways, i personally treat the mother first. she is the source, she has capacity.
when the mother is in balance and given tools and education and guidance and support, her energy shifts and is efficient in reaching her children, and real healing transforms the relationship for everyone....
it's not about laying blame on anyone...this is human life, live unplugged and we have to learn how to deal with it and the things i read sometimes in here , the aggressiveness and completely disrespectful attitude towards the spirit of the child, i hesitate to post at all because i guess this seems too hard.

but we as mothers know very well what we go through, so isn't it about time we took the power back? armed with our true instincts and our own developed sustainable communities? with education and information and our 'mothers' skills
and quit relying on indoctrinations, and systems, and EXPLORED the 'truth' with our children? as they are waking up to this crazy messed up world that we have offered them?

and when there are actual chemical issues involved, wouldn't it be important to investigate and be sure that homeopathic or natural alternatives were useless before giving strong pharmaceuticals (that have a slew of side effects)???....when you are confident and comfortable with your decision you offer a stable platform for growth, and a dicipline allows more freedom....
i am not against traditional western medicine, i am just also aware of other methods, many roads to rome,
so whatever is chosen, at the end of the day, MOM, is the one, the first voice...take care of her and the children will heal.

As a single mom, I would hesitate to say that the root of the child's problem lies solely in the mother.

I think the father's involvement or lack thereof has a significant effect on the behavior of a teen-aged girl. My daughter was furious at her father when she was 13; she sought validation from males in the only way a 13 year old girl can. Her rage and consequent path of self-destruction surely had some root in his abandonment of her. I am tired of hearing mom being blamed for everything.

I am a Social Worker myself and it sounds like you have been doing everything you can. I wished I knew of something else to advise you to do. My daughter has a nine year old that back talks us both too and has hit and tries to hit us and she is worried about the effect it will have on her other sons which are twin boys, 8 months old. I know she can really sympathisize with you more than me. I am here to support her and currently we all live together but I was married to her Daddy all the time she was growing up and didn't divorce until she was almost 21.

I agree, Hiker. There is only so much that a mother can do.
There are so many outside influences. Including the personality and any chemical imbalances of the child.

I hope your baby is doing better.

It's about time someone said the real truth as what she should do.

You know nothing about this woman or her child. Perhaps you should refrain from commenting if you do not have anything helpful to say.