I'm a taekwondo instructor, and I've also studied aiki-jujutsu, eight step praying mantis and capoeira.

Taekwondo is Korean, Karate is from Japan, Praying Mantis is from China, and Capoeira is from Brazil. For the record, there are many different styles under each of those headings.

And yeah, it's fun.

I'd like to point out that I've had several serious relationships (most between 3-5 years long), so I don't think that's an issue. I just seem to have an issue with being romantic with someone whom I've had a friendship with first.

Obviously not an issue with other people... hm.

I have a recurring issue that I'd like to get your thoughts on.

Many times, I've met and befriended women- platonically- whom I've been very close to. We spend time together, we share intimate thoughts and experiences, we work out together; the kind of things you would find normal with any good friend.

Regardless of how long this situation persists, eventually these kind of friends of mine "shift gears" and either express a desire for more or make romantic advances on me.

This is the kind of thing you see in the movies all the time, and everyone I've spoken to pretty much agrees that "good friends, then more" is the preferable way of going about "landing a keeper".

I like to think I'm pretty competent when it comes to social interraction, so I'm baffled by my usual response: I fail to register the advance (until much later, thinking back... ugh) and continue treating them the way I always have.

Now, understand... Some of them I've even had intense romantic feelings for. None of them have I found unattractive. They don't make me feel nervous or insecure; in fact, every time it happens a strange sense of calm settles over me. I just completely fail to capitalize on the opening I'm offered. Then, of course, they feel slighted, and we usually part company shortly after.

I can't seem to shift gears! Does anyone else have a problem with that? And what do you do-- I'm tired of letting the ones I really want (and that want me!) get away!

I was alone
I should have known
That, not looking, I'd find Her in the end
I was only looking for a friend
My broken heart, so freshly on the mend...

Only a glance
Just happenstance
The last place that I thought She would appear
I never dreamed that I could meet Her here
So unprepared, She filled me with such fear...

A Woman strong and beautiful beyond my dreams
Experience says that She can't be what She seems
But when She smiles
I'm lost!
I'll pay the cost
For now our hearts have slowly intertwined
I've found an Angel, wondrous and divine
I'll love Her fiercely till the end of Time...

Untitled-
by Tim Hauswirth

Has anyone else heard this?

I've heard a theory that Gravity itself is not a product of masses attracting with a force proportional to the product of their masses, but as a product of the very expansion that's been observed in the Universe; that all matter is expanding, exponentially at the same rate, and that the Gravity we feel is the result of matter expanding outward.

Wrap your head around that, bcuz I need help with it. Cool though, huh?

He just got kicked out of the house? Yeah, that has a tendency to force an attitude adjustment pretty quick! Unfortunately, it tends to be as short lived as it is abrupt.

You obviously know the man well enough not to be too taken in by the seeming flip of his leaf. I'm assuming (I haven't checked) that you're still single? I'd give him two weeks before he starts acting normal again.

Change is interesting, don't you think?

Ok, I'm new here and I'm starting to get a handle on this. I've been informed that part of the Mingle Newbie Ritual is posting for a profile rating, so... you guessed it.

Be gentle... I'm new.

Looks like the passenger compartment is intact. Has anyone heard of a "crumple zone"? The vehicle is supposed to compress to absorb most of the shock the passengers would have had to.

That being said, the H2 does suck, but not bcuz it's weak, just bcuz IT'S NOT A HUMV!

Am I the only person in the world who listens to the wisdom of Henry Rollins?

From "Shine"
Album: "Weight"
Artist: Rollins Band

"If I'd listened to everything that they said to me, I wouldn't be here! And if I took the time to bleed from all the tiny little arrows shot my way,
I wouldn't be here! The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to put you down and you could spend your entire life walking around in the nowhere land of self doubt."

To quote Randy Williams, Wing Chun Kungfu master:
"Fook 'em if they can't take a jut!"

Depending on what method of birth control you're using, there is a high risk that the drugs can make it difficult for your daughters to conceive even once they're ready to try.

I tend to be a firm believer in the idea that solutions to life's problems don't come "in a pill" (speaking metaphorically and literally).

Being involved in your kids' lives and setting a good example are still the best medicine for what ails kids.

Good luck with that!

Hey guy... you should consider adding "... and my alignment is Lawful Good"!

Why do you suppose it is, when someone writes a gleaming account of themselves, they cap it with "I'm not perfect, I have my flaws" and then don't bother to go into them?

My advice would be to take a deep breath, calm your writing style down a bit and leave people something to ask you about. When people see you parading a list of cliche virtues (that you'll see on lots of pages, once you start looking), it starts to come off as a bit fake.

But hey... what do I know? I'm just a putz!

I'm neither for or against the issue, but I have learned something pertinent to your statement.

The separation of Church and State that Thomas Jefferson wrote of in his letter to the Danbury Baptists in 1802 was not meant as a statement of excising religious observance from government or state administered institutions.

His words, "a wall of separation between Church and State" were not meant to remove religion from all government or civic settings, but to prohibit religious sectarianism. England had a State-sanctioned National religion(sponsored is a misleading word to use here), and the Founding Fathers were opposed to that.

The Danbury Baptists had written to Thomas Jefferson seeking reassurances that their religious liberty was to be guaranteed, not that religious expression on public grounds should be banned.



Are you implying that "we free Americans" have the freedom to suppress? I find that surprisingly obtuse, considering that no one was required to participate in prayer. When a public school administrator decides to teach the Bible in school as a requirement to everyone, that would be wrong.

It's tempting to get anxious when you're interested in an internet woman and she wants to meet you.

Messaging again after a week to someone you've only recently made acquaintance with is reasonable. I wouldn't get too worked up about her, though. It's a bad way to start things off.

He pays for everything and is distant when you hang out. How long have you known this guy?

Paying for everything is an attempt to impress you with his financial stability.

He seems distant because he's restraining himself from telling you how he really feels. He's afraid you'll either be freaked out or won't feel the same way.

If you really like this guy, give him a break-- come out and tell him that you like him and ask how he feels about you; he'll warm up real quick.

If you're not sure how you feel about him, get him to tell you about himself. Guys feel better when a beautiful woman shows interest in who they are.

Let me know if I was right, hm? I'm curious!

People like to say "What's good for the goose is good for the gander". Myself, I think that's a bunch of hooey.

Just because you do something for me doesn't necessarily mean I should do something for you. It can be a nice gesture, sure, but if you want me to do something I don't want to do just because you had no problem doing the same for me, it implies that there's a price tag attached to anything you do for me. Where's the love in that?

So what do I suggest you do it that situation? You certainly can't control the other person. And if you could coerce or manipulate them, that's just a sick way to conduct a relationship.

All you can really do is ask yourself- is this person important enough for me to just deal with, or not? If they're supposed to be with you, you shouldn't have to change them... not that you ever could.

Umm... limerence? Am I being dense? I've never heard that word before.



Like ol' Will Shakespeare wrote: "This world is not for aye, nor is it strange that even our loves should, with our fortunes, change".

If only love were never-ending! But yer on the right track. The true test of love is in its longevity and its reciprocity- basically, you'll never know for sure you're in it until the knowing is a moot point.

Pardon me for being dense... what do you mean by "the superhero above you"?

My secret passion is superheroes, so I'll bite.

Dennis Leary once said, "Happiness comes in small doses, folks. It's a cigarette, a chocolate chip cookie, a five-second orgasm. You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, and then you go to work... that's it, end of @#%!% list."

I just thought that was funny.

In the movie Hudson Hawk (that only I seemed to enjoy!) Darwin Mayflower said "Happiness comes from the achieving of goals."

I tend to agree with that to a greater extent.

My momma used to sing me a song when I was child, saying "Happiness is the Lord."

She's a God-fearing lady, but I've never been sure she believed it herself.

I think happiness, true happiness, requires a lot of (some would say too much) sacrifice. I think it requires that you be willing to actively craft those elements in your life that you have direct control over into exactly what you want, no compromises (which means you have to give up a lot that you want that would get in the way).

Your happiness can't depend on things outside yourself, or you'll never be happy. Because if you pursue happiness with no compromises, you're likely to end up alone.

Can we agree that people often use underhanded means to score what they want from other people and leave it at that? So dating can suck- get a helmet.

As for our prose about a broken-hearted lover... it's easy to say what one should or shouldn't do to get over someone they felt strongly about. It's hard for someone outside looking in to gauge your personal factors, like maturity, neediness, self-discipline, self-love.

Running on the assumption that the post was meant as a poetic expression of someone's personal difficulty, my advice would be to make some small changes in your life. Spend some more time with friends, pursue some new interests, just get out of your normal routines in general for awhile.

Our lifestyles help us hold on to the things we care about most. When you break it off hard with someone important, breaking the routine can help ease the transition.

It hurts when someone you like changes their mind on you. You really can't afford to beat yourself up as to why, though. All you can ever do is communicate honestly and live your life the way you always would.

I'm sure you'll agree, we all have enough problems without trying to worry about the indecisive ones too, hm?