Not once but twice at my house yesterday. My ex husband called me to talk about an incident my son had at school, and I was home sick.

He apologized to me twice, for the first time in six years. He said he always assumed the worst as he was still angry at the person he thought I was and he was sorry. Then he said he'd been using me as a scapegoat and taking his problems out on me, including swearing at me, and for that he was sorry.

Holy cow....I looked up at the sky and saw the oinkers with wings... he must be in therapy or desperate for an ally. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.

don't know the circumstances surrounding your divorce, but it seems he may have realized what he's missing.

just speculation.

Sometimes people do grow and change.

Oh, we've been divorced for six years, he married his paramour who has recently kicked him out. They have two kids, he and I have one.

I was thinking he finally went to therapy.... or without the wife he finally saw I was not at all the person he had imagined me to be. He is an assumer....

Oh, I agree. But sociopaths rarely do. They just pretend they've changed to manipulate.

I am going to TRY and keep an open mind... but as Dr. Phil says, "The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior".

He just got kicked out of the house? Yeah, that has a tendency to force an attitude adjustment pretty quick! Unfortunately, it tends to be as short lived as it is abrupt.

You obviously know the man well enough not to be too taken in by the seeming flip of his leaf. I'm assuming (I haven't checked) that you're still single? I'd give him two weeks before he starts acting normal again.

Change is interesting, don't you think?

Yeah, I am single.

There is no question in my mind that if my ex tried to even befriend me I'd laugh at him. If he tried to physically touch me I might vomit bile all over him.

There is simply no way I could ever forget all that has transpired. I'm not angry or bitter, but I detest and despise the man. He's, well, IMO he is a sub-par human being.

Why did you marry a sociopath, no judgement, I married a meth user, but gee a sociopath. I would like to learn how to manipulate women they way they do.

Don't try to analyze it. Just be happy it happened. And, be prepared for him to go back to being an a$$ just as quickly.

He was very charming.... had both me and my mother fooled. Only after I was pregnant and we married did I see him for who he was. We are all fallible and at risk for such things.

No one is exempt from the potential for being manipulated. I just learned my lesson the hard way. And I get to keep learning it over and over in the joys of forced co-parenting.




Thanks, Ruth.... I'm still in shock!

It's not that easy to spot a sociopath right away. Or even after a while. They are master manipulators. And, generally very charming.

Stranger things have happened Lilith ... good luck with it all and NEVER " turn your back to him" as they say

I like finding out that the guardian angels get together for a good laugh and commiserate over which ones get assigned to me.

Maybe that happens in your life, too. There just have to be days when they say, "This is one to remember!"

My ex has an angel name... what a misnomer!

If you're not angry or bitter, why are saying that you detest and despise him? You do have some feelings for him, perhaps not kind ones at that. You must have been cut pretty deep. Unfortunately because you have a son by him, you'll be faced with dealing with him for a long time. I'm sure that you'll handle it well. Good luck.

I think that is is an incomplete assessment, while its true 'part' of the best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior, current choices and real lifestyle changes taken into consideration can lead to a whole different picture.

I think bitter and anger mean I give him head space, and normally I do not. I am not hanging onto those feelings of negativity. However, when I talk to him do I feel a bit ill? Sure. Do I want to spend time with him or in his vicinity? No......

When it comes to other people I really have only one rule of thumb, trust my inner instinct like it was god. Hasn't been wrong yet Using that as a rule, probably a good thing to avoid him then

luv2roknroll<<<<<giving Lilith401's ex husband shock treatments....

"Now, you better be nice to her @sswhole, or we will be doing this again....GOT IT!".

Awww, thanks darling!




Myyrdin, sorry to say but you dissed Dr. Phil and that puts you in a bad spot....