Hey Pumpi.

I'm no Angel

Aatheera, Thank you for giving it a read and sharing your thoughts.

Did anyone else notice that this thread was started in 2009, and just now got some responses?

$100.50

I love this feedback. Thank you both!

My analytical mind likes how as Bastet suggested, removing one word allows the closing line to resolve back to the title, and the metaphor.

My appetite, and my intent to provoke images of desire and vigorous pleasure, favors the original closing line.

Yeah, it kinda sums up the intent. Thanks, Velbar.

Thank you, Julie.

Thank you, Robin.

Well... I think the way music or poetry is interpreted has the elasticity to be expansive, like lycra. Thanks for sharing some feedback.

I enjoyed reading this poem, Velbar. The theme is particularly appealing to me. "dream fuel" and "reality drive" are clever phrases.

I appreciate that you like the original ending.

Bastet, I'm glad it was a fun read for you. I hoped that's how it would be received. Your suggestion is insightful. I agree that simple adjustment makes a significant impact on the continuity of the theme. Also, I think it's a more tasteful way to close. If it were possible, I would edit the line in this post. I have made that change on poetry sites where it's posted. Thank you.

Hey Carebear. Thanks for checking it out and for your kind feedback.

As always, your acknowledgement is appreciated, Julie.

Thanks, Robin.

Yeah, I think it flows like a song too. Thanks for checking it out, I'm glad you loved it despite it's raunchiness.

I'm grateful
to separate from
grating attitudes.
Shred me a plate full
of cheesy platitudes.
Oblige the abolition
of abominable certitude.
Backfill and ditch war
with the entrenched.
No longer flinch before
tossing a wrench
into the unworkable.
Grant myself the fortitude,
to disallow sullen brood,
from seeping in
and souring my mood.

Wrap around my body like clothing.
Warped weave is gently closing.
Tailored to be snug fitting.
Stretch around me, snuggle in.

Sew me into your fabric.
I'll zip you up tight.
Your silhouette is fantastic.
You fill that dress out just right.

Tease my dangling fringe,
comb it with your fingers.
Oh please allow me to binge you!
Your scent excites me and it lingers.

Stitching a tear with needle and thimble.
Those undulating curves mmm... so damn nimble!
Watching you dance ignites my passion.
Sexy swerves, that's my kind of fashion.

Let me take-in your waist... just a hair.
Caressing your hips till they're threadbare.
Slip out of that silk and under Egyptian cotton.
I wanna wear you out from top to bottom.

A pleasure to read. I appreciate the positive nature of this poem.

I appreciate this expression.