ok, i could see thrue my wide open eyes, there is more of sharing love thrue a disguise, its like if peoples have to hide their true self just to prove their love, but i put looks and acts they give out the way, above all, the moments one spend time, and cherish every minute with that special someone, for which it feels uneasy to express each and every feelings that you get, it is quite difficult, to look into their eyes, and tell them one thing, when you mean another, what if one has the moment given to get to know each other, from the length of the hair, to the brightness of their smile, or the love you see in their eyes, might it be the beats that sound for every heart pound moment that you spend with that special someone, it all tells you one thing, and im not sure if its true, but for every given moment that you spend time with that person, you could melt in their arms, feel warm within every kiss, feel happy with in every hug, cuddle up and feel the love, like if the world is slowing down just for the two of you, might say that time has frozen, just for you to enjoy.......that given moment.

Poetic flow like a scorpion, stings slow pain runs thrue your vains, steady slow pace run out of luck, list the many dark poets who run but don't get stuck in the action thrue the streets of mud and aggressive passion, disgrace runs thrue across my vision and i take caution, like its quarantine area thrue my heart, I'll show you the passage way from the light of my eyes thrue the dark, i sense a smaller, darker yet stronger self being, like if im super small, super man, super calm being, i care less what others think of me, i like to be small, yet i bring powerful punches to your guts when you hear me call, im the nightmare to your reality defying whats fake or fiction, i come with many hatred life denying contradictions, and i fool you like its full of dark with a small candle illuminating, with my dark poetry so much brothers/sisters out there are hating, cause im light as a feather, yet dark as a tree in the night, light as a piece of paper, dark as the lead on the pencil tip, light as a candle lit illuminating the dark spot of my heart, being dark as the inside of a tornado, like bombs explosive, energy running thrue my arteries, could it be my history, or just my metaphors, lyrically im the temporary dark spot from your light place on your dark heart, meaning, i will light up as many points as i might recall destroying you, my inner self, im spitting out of the ordinary, im so smooth but im changing lanes like im switching planes, or like im twitching from the eye when i see my dame, my girl, for which is the one reason why im a dark poet, my dark poetry spark no light, thrue me, im dark poet.......

yes most of my days, i seen too many switches hit up or par take in too many glitches i sense a double edged knife near my throat and im twitching like if im in need of drugs or if im just flinching, like if all i see are nightmares from the pit of hell, and i ask my self why, why the **** do i hear them bells, and i mean bells from the ghetto streets, flea market soo damn hood, like if im into hood so mean, like if im into the selling drugs, i never touched an ounce of any, never got near to use a gun just got popped by many, never came close to take a life, just gotten beat down by soo many that i counted an army against me like the world is hating, then i came across this stupid situation such a damn menace, showing disgrace to my family or my nation like if im into so much of this f*ck*ng bullsh*t, terror of terror, mirrors all broken, i lost self vanity, i hate my self with no tokens.....

i then came to find myself into a broken blurr, when i gotten mixed up with actions that never felt so good, i fell on my knees and came to my conscious back into reality like if all i needed was someone fighting back, i noticed a young lady across the room, her eyes filled with such beauty like a lake of mirror glass crystal clear image, her smile, when she did i felt a warm presence from her, even if it wasn't towards me, it felt heatin, her beautiful face and i would like to spit game to her, but this sh*t aint a game no more, im on some serious sh*t, naa, no more playing, im on some otha ****, im done with heart f*ck*ng up my life so regret this **** one last time, i noticed her eyes very close to mines, dark, no just brown eyes type like two times the remorse i had in the past, so many things i had committed, i feel like giving up...

so i cool down on my actions, since acting leads to the movie complete, and most of the damn time, the bad guy dies in the end, according to my mislead consequences, im only bad enough to be in hell early, but i feel God giving me chances, so im trying, i feel he sent me an angel to guide me, and give me strength, i just never thought the angel would be this beautiful yet hard to get....

naa check it, stop looking, stop trying to find Love, cause your love will soon cross your path, without you knowing, without you realizing, it could be that person you had an argument or simply hate at the moment, or it could be just a random person you just met, and might be yours in the future,either way, be patience, cause if you look for Love the fast and easy way, it will hurt, and you will be scarred on trying to fall in love again aiight, Much Love and Respect to you guys, God Bless

i always thought that street pain would come and go real easy tho, like stomach viruses just 3 days and out tha door, and i always said to my self i could make it out with pain, dance under the rain, and shower off the intensive blood stain, on my shirt that i had to walk away from, it was either his life or mines and to get revenge i chose his life.....

so let me ask ya something, do ya know how it feels to loose a friend, no a brother, right in front of your eyes, like it was easy drop, pull back, squeeze trigger, fuk that, the desert eagle released an explosion so bad, that the blood of my brother splattered all across the wall, i was across the street, looking at those many shots being recieved by his body, many shots piercing his skin, as if he was a soldier, and the spears jabbed his body like breaking thrue paper with a pen.....

like the ink pen, i broke thrue this paper, slamming my thoughts on this scripture, slamming my mind on these lines, breaking the tips of every pen i had, tear dropping down every day, they always told me to vent my emotions thrue writing poetry, but this one was so strong that i felt that not even God was there, i felt i was alone on this, and the devil was laughing, enjoying every droplets of pain coming out from my body....

i gripped so tight and i let one month go, i was so depressed i dropped a couple of bars alone in a minute, in a second i came out with a heart breaking song, so i kept listening to toni braxtons unbreak my heart, and thats what i was feeling, kept looking out the window, thinking my brother would come back, knowing he was dead, i broke the window and fell out from the two story building, and thats where i broke my left arm and started limping....

so i went into my closet, pulled out my glock i held for so long, put in a clip with only 7 rounds that i had left, from the old days of gang banging, from the old days of conquering, now this aint war, this is revenge i had in my heart, so damaged like danity kane, or what ever bull 5hit they make up now in days, so i went out, it started to rain hard body and i thought to my self....

"just another dramatic effect to this situation, i dont give one, two or three damns of what happens, that dirty a55holes gonna get it" so i was walking down the street, limping, dragging my feet, holding my arm, with each droplet hitting my face, covering up those salty tear drops, coming out from my eyes, and the dirt on my face, so no one knew i was crying, i kept walking, just passed a church, and i noticed his car in the lot, and i was wondering whats this, but i kept walking, then the doors opened, and there he was, i saw him with his family and with his mom, i noticed that they where laughing enjoying time to the fullest

i noticed his mom was telling him, "thank God you converted, thank God you left that gang, i love you my boy, i thank God for everything", but then he saw me, he saw my gun, he looked a bit worried, and i stared at his eyes, with anger, his family noticed as well, and got scared for their own, i pulled up the gun, and said "fuk you and your life, is what your doing now getting better?? aiight, i tell ya what, how bout two rounds in the stomach, one in the head, once i hit you i promise by the last two you'll be dead, i swear, why in the fuking world did you killed my brother?? why did you shot him many times and his body all covered in blood, innocent blood, innocent blood....." i kept repeating, he told me, please, not infront of my family they dont deserve it, " fuk you!!! and your damn family, i hate you, i hate you!!!!" he said please dont, i changed, please, why me??

"dont beg, thats not manly, my brother didnt see it coming, he didnt beg, we didnt beg, we didnt fell out on our knees, and now i see, your lower then me, and im just a soldier, so btch please, stop being such a pu55y and accept this bullet"

so i closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger........

i didnt hear a sound, i opened my eyes, and everything was spinning, i looked at the gun, it didnt fire nothing, i cried out loud, in pain, in anger, but more in sadness, i almost killed a father, a son, a husband, a child of God, so i dropped to my knees and asked why!?!?!

he came rushing at me, and instead of picking up the gun and finish me, he dropped to his knees as well, and picked up the bible, read to me a couple verses, gave me God Blessings, talked to me, and counseled me, and told me everything about the churches, told me how Jesus loves me, told me how God had stopped me, and now God is giving me a chance to repent and regret the devils dance, to accept salvation, and to forget about my past......

and i did, i forgave and forgotten, i repented and accepted, i was always a child of God, but now, im the Lords servant for dying for me on the cross.......

Amen(sorry bout the many cussing i posted, just wanted to make it as real)

this story is based on true events, but sometimes not all those events come out with positive consequences, all we can do is wait patiently for the sign of God, Jesus, the Holy Ghost to enter our body, mind, soul, and spirit, God Bless, im out

yeh i can see you like being immature, i see most little kids are, but yeh, Rap aint anything near being gangsta or anythng in that matter of subject, its the artist that make it gangsta, or sound in that way, Rap is Poetry mixed with a beat, lets break down RAP, Rhythm And Poetry, so yeh, and poetry was never founded on being gangsta, so get that one aiight sweetie, now seeing that im in a Nation, yet peoples like to call it a gang, i dont care what others say, i know what i am, im not out there killing peoples, stealing, shooting, dealing or what ever, im just doing me, Rap artist and Poet, aiight, so get that, if anything else hit me up wit a message, i dont like talkin over these posts

lol woow, kids be on some immature things, its not being gangsta, or gangster in that matter, but maybe i shouldnt even explain or waste ma time, ya might still be thinking tha same, so its what ever. Much Love and Respect

Explosion, dark devotion, many art classics dark distortion, abstract, im literal, too many altercations, makes people just wanna die soon

say this, Rage, with an open attitude, say it out loud with the mass magnitude, anger, self destruction violates my code of laws, and im to proud to execute my own simple flaws, its like i cant compete with others whether i try, i cant help my self but loose my Rage!!! its like i cant distinguish others by my side, i feel im loosing it again.....and again, i try to vent and release thrue writing poetry, this one song is one the many lyrics that i hid, but this world needs to listen to my cry or deny, for every damn thing that once tried to hurt me.....

i could only see my self but with a distance, and i try to let my anger go with plea, plead tha fifth, please my thoughts and i shall break free, i cant control my emotions so i leave, let loose the moments that has tempered with me and my, my self destruction i mentioned before i fly, let alone having therapy try to cool me down, i just get angry, more angry till i cry, its a type of emotions that hold me inside, and once i felt so bad i just wanted to die, but im not gone think of any bad thoughts, never say die, was one, and i will never say cry!!!!! my self to sleep because i cant control it, my Rage is up my life and i will burst, at the moment i explode, errupt like a volcano try leaving my sight, because who ever is near me might be in danger, seeking peace, seeking love, seeking live, but my life seeks more pain, more hate, more war......

i cant control my emotions so i break thrue these lyrics, and im crying, and im trying to break more.....

was good ma peoples, this post is for those artist who have albums or soon to be released albums, such as my self, i got one up coming album, to be released September 19, 2008. Im working on my second album as well, but yeh, hit me up if ya want a copy, or just hit me up to get at me aiight, but yeh, artist, post your albums right here, aiight, Much Love and Respect.

Album Title: ReSended to be released September 19, 2008.
Artist: SangRio
Genre: Rap
Who Produced Who?: Self Produced, my own studio, called Point Fi-V Productions.

Any Shout Outs: yeh, shout out to ma peoples, ma fams, ma brother who released a album called Year of Da Gangsta, and this be Royal Lineage Family, Much Love and Respect

very nice poem, i enjoyed reading it, thanks for posting it, it had me thinking, life isnt fair at times, but we must make the best of it, again nice poem, take care, and keep writing more ok, God Bless

you know the ones i see on TV, loving caring family that are always there for you, the kind of family i see laughing with each other, share scary storys with each other, the kind of family that share trouble, yet are strong with each other, the kind of family that doesnt separate, the kind of family that makes life great....

Just a family that would or could have been there for me, a family that i know i could trust with my deepest fear, a family that can relate to my issues, a family that can be there when i fell, not to pick me up, but to encourage me to do so, a family that could spend time with me, a child in a grown mans body, a family that doesnt hurt, discipline is not hurt, you know, when they smack your hands because your about to touch the hot stove....

no that does not hurt, what really hurts is, when they dont smack you, then you find out the real pain by your self, when you live life alone, and grow up by your self, when you go home only to find that your mom is crying on the floor while your dad is yelling, that hurts, when about the only time i felt happy was when i fell down, and hurt my self, reason why, because i seen both of my parents together worried about me, but they where together, not fighting, yes, thats what i want...

a family that doesnt fight for the dumbest issues that are happening, a family that cares for you.....yea, thats what i want.......

that was very touching, very detailed, i like this poem, it shows strong emotions, its strong, i like it, keep writing

thanks for the comments, and yeh, all those incidents happened, but i thank God that my grandfather is ok now, that night was a scary night, it was scary because i thought that the last thing that i told him, was indeed the last thing i could have told him, without saying sorry, but yeh, like i said before, i thank God for everything being ok now, and that was a lesson learned

let me start by asking to whoever reads this, have you ever held your tears back so much that when pains pierces your heart like a spear running thrue a soldiers chest, when pain strikes you unexpected, and you wanted to cry for a moment, or maybe for a second, maybe just to drop a single tear drop, and let that tear drop hold the pain of your life, just one single tear drop, powerful enough to take you down, but when you tried, you couldnt, or you just forgot how to.....

yes i tried to, all my life i held my tears back, showing no type of emotion, showing no type of fear, it was my dads discipline in my heart, telling me, no cross that out, yelling at me, saying, a man will shed no tears, a man will not cry, for a man is strong to stand against all kind of pain, so i followed....

yes i tried to, i tried following, and it worked for many years, i mean all i could remember from crying was, i think i was 3 years old, i think it was when i seen my little puppy die, yeh, i was a little kid, and that was my little dog, so i cried in pain, but then he gave me that talk....

yes i tried to, no, i applied it, its like when i fell down the stairs of a two story building when i was 4, i could have cried, but i didnt, i was shocked....

or when my older sister left out of my life, leaving me with my dad and mom fighting each other, leaving me take care of my little sister alone, growing in every blow that came towards me

or when my father came drunk from the club, shredding the place into broken pieces, when the mirror fell on the floor, in front of me, i seen my image, no tear drops from me, i grew angry, but i grew

or just maybe it could have been when i broke the window with my hands, cut so deep i could've had stitches, we couldnt afford it, no tear drops came from me, just blood drops

i let go of my pain when i got jumped into one of the gangs i was involved in, all that anger i had in me exploded, but only a small portion surfaced me, i did enough to survive the beatings

but then......

tell me why, why did i came to see so much pain, that when i had an argument with my grandfather, he then had gotten operated for an ulcer, came back home, we where still mad at each other, but, it was that night, a sunday night, well sunday night going to monday, i noticed a bad smell coming from my grandparents room.....

i woke up, and heard a lot of comotion, i heard alot of talking, voices that seemed concerned, worried, scared, so i walked up into the kitchen, and they told me that his wound had gotten infected, i was like "what", with a blank stare, like if i still didnt show emotion......

i went outside, looking into the stars, and then saw him and the ambulance peoples come out the front door, taking him into the ambulance, which was taking him to the hospital, i got heated, i got angry, i slammed the wall........

i let out a yell that everybody heard in my street, fell on my knees, and looked up into the stars again, instead of light, i saw darkness, i slammed the floor, i slammed it harder, so hard i cut my self, i saw my bloody hands, and i let out......

yes i let out......what i held for so many years in my life, i cried.......

yes i cried, i was down, i was weak, but somehow i became stronger....

yes i tried to, i tried to hide it, but i just cried out even more, and my mom and sister noticed me, they cried with me aswell, not because they took my grandfather, somehow they had hope, i didnt, but they cried because......i was no longer that heartless person showing no emotions.....

that night, i became a man.......

these are 20 questions that i had asked my self onces, i answered 19 of them on my own.....and i was wondering if the other question will ever be answered.....so i will let who ever feel if so they need to ask themselves, go right ahead......the questions are.....

1. has this pain in life got me to grow stronger??
2. or this rain on the city can ever last longer??
3. maybe this strenght can grow from month to year??
but its getting harder for me just to drop one Tear....

4. has these past few years tought me to be brave??
5. or maybe i could fear no darkness from the cave??
6. could this even be an option i would have to take??
i try to sleep at night but im really wide awake....

7. did i absorb the past like if im mourning a loss??
8. or could it be the ice on the door and the window frost??
9. is it warm in the winter and cold during the summer??
this kind of question deserves an answer and so i slumber...

10. no more what if, i'am just trying to ask why i cannot cry??
11. is it cause the macho ways i was raised to release no tear nor even try??
the harder it gets for me to cry, yes i feel numb....
12. precisely what i wanted from the begining but is that dumb??

13. did i really want emotionless go thrue my life??
14. did i really enjoy the moments that i wanted to die??
15. did i even felt pain when these voices told me...?
you might think im crazy, but i felt that i was blind, then i could see...

16. did i really wished that my family would have died??
17. did i really asked God......Just tell me why???
18. was my questions directing towards God, or myself??
i had ignored many warnings from everyone else...

19. how can i even call my self a Christian believer??
when indeed i had helped to bring down those who never was free, NO!!!
20. How dare i even tell myself alone that "I'm a Man"??
when my knees started to tremble and i couldnt stand!!!

When my ankles felt so weak, i wanted to collapes!!!!
When my hands shook like this earth and i couldnt grasp!!!
When my throat was extremely dry that i started to choke!!
When my heart was pounding fast, a heart attack provoked!

20. maybe i called my self a man because i was afraid....
19. maybe i called myself a believer just to see what i was made...
18. maybe i answered my own question, and God helped me out..
17. maybe telling me why wasnt it, but telling me how.

16. im pretty sure i was afraid of Love because i wished death.
14. and i think that enjoying life is a gift at its best
13. emotions running thrue my vains even if i tried ignoring
12. not for you or for myself to make sense of distorting

11. i tried my best to drop one tear but it never fell down
10. i even read sad storys but all that left was a frown
9. during the winter the family is together, summer time it falls apart because of the warm weather
8. its like a metaphor, "Stiff like a Board, Light as a Feather"

7. i miss the past but the future is ahead so i wait
6. patience will determine the true from the fake
5. i must not lie and tell the truth, yes i'm terrified
4. but i know of these words that i must abide

3. it all depends on what is my focus on what i call strong
2. heavy or light rain will never drown out God's song
1. i think it may but what is my strenght when im wise and grown
for once i said i was born one, and only one but im not alone

and as i started to finish this poem i notice on the paper a wet droplet, soaked the very word Love. I looked up and saw a picture on my kitchen wall, and it was Jesus in the Last Supper and all the rest looked small. I looked at Love and seen another droplet next to gift, and i was wondering is this a message from him to me. Then one last look at my poem and i noticed "drop one tear..." and one more dropped on God, but i noticed that with him.........im not alone.....stand up he told me.

Amen

Lenin aka SangRio
Get At Me
5 Alive!!!

Yea strongly to live lifes an image in the mirror and the broken glass broke thats an image of the broken blurr, the broken heart and the shattered pieces as a puzzle to connect into a broken Love, all into muscles....

This broken image stared at me long enough for me to listen of the innerspace and streets are all in one....

this statue of a ghost rendered thrue my heart glaring at my face just to remember what im all about....

I see a mirror split in two, with a image out the blue, shattered pieces and i cannot see the life in it no more, sensing the broken window glass, more abouts done in the past, when i had put me in blast, sensing one thing and another action done into it now.....

as i continue to look into the mirror i try to put piece together, and the image starts to get more clearly visible to my eyes, my pupils try to focus on it, yet no thoughts of whats about it, and i cant stop thinking it starts looking close to me, the eyes of the image hatred, many times i stared at it, it glared at me back....

I feel like it cant make it, thrue the gates of living lies, thrue the water of disguise, thrue the flames of life and whys.....

i tremble into it, and start to shake cause image i see is more like a ghost that trys to fly.....

as if i was only an image of a ghost, the return into this world, the psycological reason to be afraid of life, and i would turn away the sins, if i had to live life clean, yet alot of this world returns me into living life in hell, no.....thats not it......

Yes no, i think its a mistake, rather looking in the image i think i could see a face, looking into harder i could feel my hands to shake, i get nervous when i see some truth an image of disgrace.....

more looking in it, i see some dark brown eyes, those eyes are filled with hate not love and yet with tears and crys dispise, the image looking stronger and i focus in it harder, and what scared me the most, i did not see a ghost, it was me.....
damn...

Lenin aka SangRio
Get At Me
5 Alive!!!

gotta hold back my fears, push back my tears, front paint the floor, with nerve sweat and Years of blood poured out to, this type district fooled, me and im trying to go for the gold at the end of the rainbow.....
soul searching now, floor painted shadow mixed with the sunlight and im mixed with nerves, they kill me softly, stress gets me lovely how i face these situations i face the effectively....

as i tremble between issues facing reality, these stress forces me to write creatively...
trauma gets to me and focusdly im trying to get rid of the next issue leaving me.....

trying to check on the other side of day, half past noon, still no clue what will drive me totally crazy....
checking for pulse after one, these issues has just begun but after two i have to run.....

the sun looks for shadow to shine bright, my shadow cast a light, and feels like im alright, but really truth despite, matter of it is night, for the shadow is half past dead, im living in shadow red, blood pouring from my bed, seeing its my past of living dead....

Stress gets to me, just last friday i cussed some one out and put in missery, seems like i try to be cool, i hurt the peoples, and seems like i want to make my mark down into history...

Live life seen all thru distantly, living life is history, past is past i know, but for every second is past the living spree....

Lenin aka SangRio
Get At Me
5 Alive!!!

yea trying to spill the blood over the lunar eclipes when natives tried to end my row, when my life has no meaning, when my likes of just screaming dont leave nothing else but my painless blades just streaming, like if i never knew i had a hole in my heart, like if i knew i had the right to depart from my brainless stroles, since i control my emotions, so i command them not to love no more, cause im afraid yea, but i shed no tear, the only ones i shed was one blood drop year by year, and if only i had a purpose, you guys will take no courses im just hear of flowing heart before im breaking out no lie, my aching pain, my drops of sweat, my dreams has been shattered, to pieces of peace of lease of evictions and of release, of convictions, of anger problems or of to please, the way of my life no more i have no love left in me......

Many things had put anger in me but i continue to strive, since my addiction of my poems never made me live life yet i managed to hold onto the greatest things i ever held, and to me its loveless since my love just went and fell right in hell, the endless pit of flames which describes my heart, for every night i try to sleep heartburns just wake me up, and try to cover my pain with excuses of my going to the bathroom alot, but only i know the truth is that i wake up from the flames of hell and rot, yea from the torture of flowing right into a depth of which the moments time to spread the truth is when the rain drops go spinning, and the tear drops go dry, from the blood shed is winning, cause more vengence is why, so alot of men and women try to end another life, No Love No Hate for which i managed to apply, yea i dont got love for no one for the reason i dont love personal, but i do got love for my brothers and sisters who are there to support me......

Lenin aka SangRio
Get At Me
5 Alive!!!

semi automatics click clock the addics flip flop, the matrix slip drop, the clips, the full caskets drop down the hole, burried under dirt, flip down side the hurt....

most of the problems, slip down to solve an issue, from the start of any beef, and most of them soldiers drop down the ground, lay down to the downside of life....

its in this world, either fight back up, stay up top, or lay down and stay down, lay rest your crown, most of this issues faces teenagers to drama, baby daddy or mamas, ya regreso la calma....

to this day rappers lay at rest, trying to be the best, so long top this world with a cresent moon, fills up with power, most deaths happens to influences type and issues lead to killing...

and what im saying is, hear the news, and feel the spirit, and feel the song, and to this day i say So Long....

Lenin aka SangRio
Get At Me
5 Alive!!!

that was sweet, i liked it....

let me see if i could think of something real quick to go with that.....

Dreams or day dream, commas nor unconscious i could only remember the breathe slow breathing of the drama between loving one another yet hating upon dont bother me with stupid words that come from your heart cause all i get is attacks from the silent yet deadly feeling of whats called love. And i cannot remember the day i had gone away from you, but the farther i get i could only get sheer visions and the thoughts are cleared too, can i try to forget what i tried to remember before, can i afford to forget what had cost me much to assemble, to remember the emotions that we put in together, can i forget the dreams i had with you forever i tried to forget in time it just haunts me, so i hate you!!! yes......I hate you cause i love you, i cant forget you, there for i hate you!!!