In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them.

It suggested that I halve the strawberries, dust with icing sugar, and pile cream on top.

A word of advice to any-one else thinking of trying this:

Pile cream tastes disgusting!

A middle aged woman walked into the pharmacy and approached the male pharmacist at the counter....

"Do you have Viagra here?" she asked

"Yes madam we do"

"Does it actually work?"

"Of course madam - I actually use it myself occasionally"

"Can you get it over the counter?"

"Oh yes - but I normally have to take two!"

I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a harp.

My friend said "What are you supposed to be?"

I said "I’m a harp."

He said "Your outfit’s too short to be a harp."

I said "Are you calling me a lyre?"

A man goes into a bank and points a gun at the cashier.
"Hand over all your money or you're geography. "
"Don't you mean History?"
"Don't change the subject."

Thanks

Hi

If I have limitations on 'who can mail me', age or distance for example:

If I were to send a message to some-one who is outside these limitations,will that person be able to reply to me if I have written to them first? Or do I need to amend my filters so that they are within the boundary?

Thanks

I arrived at a restaurant rather early for my booking

The manager said "do you mind waiting for a little while?"

I said "no problem"

He said "Excellent - could you take these drinks to table 7"

I've been trying to organise a professional Hide and Seek Tournament.
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Unfortunately good players are hard to find

Nanny

I was having a pint with my neighbour.

He said "Last night I came home and the wife was dipping £20 notes in batter and putting them in the deep fat fryer. I do wish she wouldn't fritter her money away like that"

I was walking along Oxford Street and a tourist approached me and asked "What is the best way to Selfridges"

I said "I'm not too sure - try Ebay"

No recent activity is showing.

I have received mail/nudges/likes etc today but the most recent entry on the recent activity is from 11 hours ago.

I've been on here for an even shorter time than you and I have already reached the conclusion that upwards of 90% of the gay profiles on here are completely fake.

If all the 20-something guys who have 'Liked' me on here were real I could **** a different one each night for the rest of the year. (and then I would wake up).

I'm the wrong side of 50 and intelligent enough that your typical gay guy in his 20s is not going to chase after the likes of me

I've had four guys, all aged 25 or 26 in the past 2 weeks (and another one just a moment ago) all claiming to be from Manhatton NY and asking for my email address to chat.

I only gave it to a couple of the because the email I use is just created for here and doesn't have any personal data that could be hijacked.

Turns out they were all from Russia!

Sorry for waffling on for so long - I have a tendency to rant on a bit when things piss me off.

Basically I'm saying "Yep I'm with you on that and Nope - I don't think I've found any-one honest on here yet.

You live and learn......

I've not been on here long but I am already reaching the conclusion that upwards of 90% of the gay profiles on here are total Fakes.

Either that or I have suddenly become a sex-god and am irresistible to countless numbers of 20-something guys whose profile pictures are to die for.

Unfortunately I'm not.

I'll feel so much better once that's inside me

mmmm point taken. It was meant tongue-in-cheek, but that's my sense of humour

I see how it could be misconstrued though so thanks for the heads up.

Thanks for the advice.

I've reverted to my original picture (I haven't got any full length ones ATM) and shaved a bit off the 'about me'

Any advice for tweaking this (or starting from scratch ) would be gratefully received

Just read these comments, being a newbie myself.

Some sound advice.

I believe in the virtues of openness and honesty and, as such, I was probably (certainly) a little naiive at first.

I created a new outlook email account when I joined, mainly as a security precaution, so although I have given it out to a couple of people (who turned out to be young Russian men and not the fake pictures and profiles of the men I liked the look of ) I hope I'll be safe......

Hi all. I'm pretty new to this site and the online dating thing in general.
I came her to ask what signs you may look for to spot a fake - probably near on impossible though right?