I read the last 2 that you have created. To write down what's on your mind, be it great or less then , is honorable. And who is to be the better judge, to each his own. :-)

Im gonna criticize my own writing for the first time, that last post i could have written better with less use of you and i, but o well :-) . I hope it has something interesting within it.

My heaven has gone away but i stand unafraid. Hell began and i was living in it. But no hell in fire or flame can burn through the inner layers of who i am. I pray that when the next time i step out into that beautiful bright and warm sunlight. I feel what i see reflecting back towards me. Even though most of what made my heaven so precious is lost. I still see angels living in this world reminding me hope is always in front of you. If you only take the time to stop and see. Death is inevitable and hard to understand why it happens, and when it happens. Painful memories of what you had will come and go. Although they might end abruptly without a conscious face. Heaven can never be erased. Take my strong hand through this chaotic earthquake in our lives. We may shift and tumble in different ways, but while your hand is holding mine, the fear within this nightmarish mess reality will be ever more so tolerable. You are my angel among many that cannot be killed. If you perish once, and i seem alone within these few minutes called my life. I'll reincarnate together you and i will be rejoined. This outer shell of my skin may change in time or in different lives. But we are angels you and i, a part of heaven, like heavens walls, that can never be torn down. Death will be but a breeze, for you and I.

So many words in my vocabulary, and i don't have the word i seek. Ill go with magnificent. ....

I love it. Gets me lost in thought..

I love to hear words like those. Puts a real smile on my face. One that doesnt fade quick. Thanks !

:-) :-)

All these women in this world, so strangely beautiful. I look at face after face, reminding me there different from the others iv'e seen, and yet so much the same. I used to be caught in that outside appearance, ignoring anything else that is plain. One day I changed, although this didnt happen in just a single day. A super model seems extraordinary to almost any man, but I question her beauty at first glance. Men look at pretty smiles, curvy lines, and perky breasts. I ask myself would I want to be with her because she looks the way she does. I guess ive grown up, because I question her looks. I don't want to be with her unless its real love. Iv'e grown distant from people and from myself. Iv'e started doubting what kind of love all those women see in me through there eye's. Maybe I want love to fast, and maybe I think I wont find it as the way that I see it. Beautiful women smile at me time after time, and I wonder why I dont smile back. Has life crippled me in a way that all I reflect is shame. Has my truest happiness gone away and im afraid for my eye's to be seen. To know other people see in me what is now gone. My blue eyes are dark like the deepest depths of an ocean. Blue in color, yet frightening like looking at blood under the moon. There are times when I can smile, and sometimes I smile to much in fear that when it goes away, I'll be seen with my true frowning face. I can smile a million times a day but why do they end so quick, and I cant hold on to that short moment. Am I sick with pain as if it were the sickest of disease. I can easily hide it, am I fooling myself on purpose. Im shoveling dirt over my own grave and im waiting for the job to be finished. Im to young to feel this way, and yet I am. Im 24 and my mind is dying faster then my body. How far will I go before my heart gives out in distress. I pray day and night telling myself im free, i can move on if I try. My own demons are consuming me far to much. Theres to much weight iv'e been living under, to be pulled out. Is medication a solution , herbs and drugs to fool the mind. Id rather live knowing this hell of mine is real, rather then living in a false dream thinkinking its real. Tommorow will come and its beautiful when I first awake. My eyes start to adjust after I stretch and that beautiful sun light seeping in, slowly turns into a still picture, another image from a different wall.

Chess is a game, a science, life spent learning, yearning to be the master Ive devoted so much of my time to its studies, and yet im still a novice

I to am a fan of chess
What great move can I think of
My mind goes beyond E 5
2 moves ahead of E 5
To many variations
In my head to be counted
Can you see past your defense
Exchange for exchange perhaps
With 1 wrong move can i loose
Questioning my own offense
With 1 piece taken removed
Im at a disadvantage
Do you play this game to win
Emotions can be your sin
Fear not my much older friend
To loose we can play this again

Chess is a game, a science, life spent learning, yearning to be the master
Ive devoted so much of my time to its studies, and yet im still a novice


I to am a fan of chess
What great move can I think of
My mind goes beyond E 5
2 moves ahead of E 5
To many variations
In my head to be counted
Can you see past your defense
Exchange for exchange perhaps
With 1 wrong move can i loose
Questioning my own offense
With 1 piece taken removed
Im at a disadvantage
Do you play this game to win
Emotions can be your sin
Fear not my much older friend
To loose we can play this again

I read every word of this and what a piece it is. What this piece is saying to me, is that the world is falli
ng. And look at me standing in it. Everything that once stood straight and tall is now beyond crooked.
You were my gravity against the harshest of turbalance. Gravity is gone and im going with it.
But here you are are you not? Is good enough for now.. and later heaven will be reunited. Simple words of mine and nothing to compare to what happened at the time of this piece.

Very nice poem, what it says to me as i read, is where is my sweet serenity?

I like your last verse, intense and visually captivating, very nice

Who can write a powerful image, with use of very little word. Must be a hard thing to accomplish, something i wish to learn more.

With so many poems on here, and so many people, do i have enough time to read them all. Probably not but i am reading this one. And it is very wonderful and inspiring.

Even God's envy man. To live forever leaves you unworried. To see your death slowly coming, is like no other compared. Music inspires me to write. I wrote this listening to Kaskade

Hells Demon

I'll tell you one thing about me you dont know
Iv'e seen the devil's eyes through this blizzard of snow
When you reach hells rage caught in it's burning cage
A masquerade of death smiles and lies in it's false perade
Ive gone to that place That makes the hair on your body stand up
I cant tell you what lies beneath that blood filled cup
How far down are you willing to go just know you will get cut
So take my hand you naieve child
Into this insidious hell where your raped and defiled
To get to this land where blood lives in the sand
You evolve into the devils hideous eyes and hands
Dare not become what i am
Stay as you are innocent mortal man

Even God's envy man. To live forever leaves you unworried. To see your death slowly coming, is like no other compared.
Music inspires me to write. I wrote this listening to Kaskade

Hells Demon

I'll tell you one thing about me you dont know
Iv'e seen the devil's eyes through this blizzard of snow
When you reach hells rage caught in it's burning cage
A masquerade of death smiles and lies in it's false perade
Ive gone to that place
That makes the hair on your body stand up
I cant tell you what lies beneath that blood filled cup
How far down are you willing to go just know you will get cut
So take my hand you naieve child
Into this insidious hell where your raped and defiled
To get to this land where blood lives in the sand
You evolve into the devils hideous eyes and hands
Dare not become what i am
Stay as you are innocent mortal man

In the end, only 1 immortal man's judgement is laid out. Through his eye's only may you find its solice. To disbelieve is everyone's right, and who would not want to think past there own earthly star's.

Merry christmas. :-)

Why am i living in this life stripped away from everything i hold dear. You can cry an ocean of tears. Drown your yourself in its cesspool. Or you you can take the lesser road traveled. Alone as i am, i am my own king. I'll be reborn again a fierce warrior to be reckoned with. But for now i meditate seeking my own mortal clarity.

To my father i pray
To my father i pray, i hope your up in heaven or somewhere with everlasting peace. Before i judge you, i judge my own self. Im not mad with anger. Im not holding anything in. Not anymore at least. No matter what your thoughts were before you left, life is how it is. I do love myself and i know my life is worth living for. From the entire depths of my young heart, i can and always will be able to forgive you . I live with pain, but don't we all. I do have memories worth keeping. If i did send you this message tell your godyou deserve to live on as a king. I do make mistakes and im trying my best to learn from them. Before i go as well, i do wish to make you proud. Im not a super star or a movie star, but i am a son. When you see my mother some day, tell her these words and more. You had a wife once, she must of thought you were a hell of a guy. Part of me thinks ill never find that kind of thing. I hope you believe different for me. For all the good and bad in me, please forgive.