That is another problem, the 'hero type'... I just dealt with my ex doing that to me... I told the guy I give him 6-8 weeks before he figures her out... She knows the negatives of sending him after me, but I guess he is trying to impress her... Hope they figure it out before he goes through a dramatic weight loss program...lol.

The problem with that is some of these people would rather have an unknowing 'idiot' at home paying their bills. They want the reward without the risk of the unknown, so they stay in relationships and seek out someone, until either 1) they get caught, 2) they find someone else they can get support from, or 3) they end up doing something too stupid to take back... The reality is people are scum when they want to be, be they male or female.

I remember one of my sister's ex's saying that he had no control... To this day he flinches whenever someone rings the doorbell, but I will not say why...

If you need excuses, you are an addict and need help; and it would be hard to say someone simply 'made' you do anything. That is the beauty of human nature; to reject things we know to be wrong.

I did not see anything wrong with any of them. However, I am neither shallow or picky; I would rather get to know the person insie before I judge. Not that that is what we are doing, but since I have a right to weigh in...

Now that is just funny...

It really depends on what your relationship is with A) the ex, and B) the new person. If you are serious with the new person, and the ex undermines the relationship, then it may be time to break the relationship with the ex off. However, if either the new relationship is casual, or if it is a matter of simple control, then the new person may be the one with the problem. We all get jealous; having said that, my best friends in Toledo are two of my ex's. We decided that we worked out better as friends, and it is for that reason that we are. I have had some women try to put 'the boot' to me, explaining that the ex was a problem, although she had never met the new person. I explain to them that I had been faced with the ultimatum before, and as far as I am concerned, if a woman says the following without explanation, she will lose. "It is her or me." This is a good way to end a good relationship, however I will not throw a 7 year friendship away over a maybe with someone I have known for a week or two. If I were to see that my ex is undermining the relationship however; telling old stories, inside jokes, and stuff like that, designed to ramp up jealousy in the new partner, then the ex would have to be talked to, and in lieu of a solution, they would be the one out the door.

Personally, my take on the subject is also from vicarious as well as personal experience. First of all, I agree that hitting is NEVER the answer. Having said this, I was once upon a time a battered husband (I know, 6'6" and 350...) but I was also raised never to hit a woman. I saw my sisters go through it, and vowed never to hit a woman. The result is that one of an unstable minority got to me instead, using my weakness against me. I left her within a week.
I will never stand for it again, nor will I tolerate anyone who does. As of today, first, I tell my sisters, call me if it ever happens(and most of their boyfriends/husbands have seen me in person...) but you had better be calling from somewhere else, second, if you go back, knowing what they are capable of, do not cry to me if it happens again (not for lack of compassion, but I am not flying to NY every two weeks for nothing...), and third, I treat everyone equally; I will not raise my hands to anyone, except in self-defense... Basically, we are all here for a reason, all of our feelings are valid, but anger is dangerous, and if left unchecked, can do untold damage to a relationship.

Actually, having said that, it is among the desires of mankind to seek out someone who makes them feel good; this validates us and causes us to be better than we would otherwise be. Positivity in any form is a good thing. It is just like people who are religious; they feel 'filled' with something that may not be there, but that they believe exists to nurture them, to comfort them, and to help them to understand the unknown.

Plus it feels great to be held, loved, and adored for who you are!!!

I believe that 'love' is the euphoria we all seek. It is a 'drug' of sorts. It is something that is designed to bring us out of the mundane and everyday status quo. It is the desire to treat something in such a way as to make it special, of a higher caliber, or even greater than average. Just like celebrating holidays, or other people's joy; celebrating our own brings us out of the humdrum of everyday existence.

Oh, I did not see that one, yeah, personally, I do not like to be stood up, and will ignore the advances of a person who I think is stringing me along. Try to explain your situation, especially if you are shy, then give him time to respond.

It is entirely possible that he is extremely busy during this time of year, and further possible that he has not read your responses yet. Do not overreact, try to message one more time, after all, if he was worth the date, he may be worth some patience as well.

People want to put their best foot forward when describing themselves. One of my ex's called it the four person phenomenon... There are four people on a first date, the person I am, and the person I want you to see, and the reverse is also true.
Not to mention, it is all about value, intrinsic value or what is important to you personally, and extrinsic or percieved value.

Some of these people want the 'pretty boy' or 'airheaded bimbo' because they believe society wants them to find the prettiest person to be with; then the woman ends up with a bad boy type, simply because he makes her work for his affection. She doesnt realize that she will ALWAYS have to work to keep him, meanwhile, the nice guy (and we ARE OUT HERE) sits and listens to you cry time and time again...
Likewise, the man wants the 5'7" blond 'bimbo' type when in reality this could not be further from the truth. Men generally have an idea of what attracts them, but in reality, a lot of women make it seemingly impossible to approach them, leaving the man to search for what TV tells them that they want. Basically after a few foiled relationships; the man ends up a cynical bastard...

The reality is that it is all about communication. People need to be able to address their own feelings, comfortable enough to embrace them, and honest enough to actually let the other person know what they want in reality. Then when this person isn't Pamela Anderson, or Brad Pitt... give the other person a chance, they may be the great love of your life.

I am SOOOOOO sorry to hear that, it must have been horrendous to have had to do that. I would have gone crazy faced with that choice... <HUG>

A little more information in the 'about me' section, maybe a pic or two... otherwise, it is ok as profiles go...
Be safe, stay sane!

lol... hey, that is an associated risk with dating, but you can limit who can email you... just look for email preferences under the mail tab... we all have to 'kiss a few frogs' to find the one we are looking for though...lol.

Now that is just too damned funny!!!

alcohol causes a loss of inhibitions. people are more based in 'reality' when they are drunk. although it is a pseudoreality, there are several issues a drunk person will honestly address when they wouldn't while sober...

I am real from day one... and I dont need anyone's approval, unfortunately most cannot handle it, but the ones that can... love is very powerful then.

There is a small amount of give and take in any relationship, however if the person feels the need to ask you to change who you are at a fundamental level, then they are not right for you, and you will get lost in the relationship if you try to change who you are and let them define you!

Love is a word, marraige is a sentence...