Good eye contact tells me whether I want to get interested in a woman. I know something is going on with a person when they have difficulty looking at me in the eye...and it's probably something I'm not going to like.

If a guy is going to notice that you have a nice figure or a nice chest he should try to do it when he thinks you aren't looking.

Asking someone what they do for a living as one of your first questions shows a real lack of imagination. It's lame.

Let's try to make this thread a little more positive by posting the best, most imaginative questions you could ask on a first date or in a first conversation.

I'll start.

If you could be anything you wanted to be and knew you wouldn't fail, what would it be?

I think she should have disclosed it to you in some way. I think most people are aware of things about them that "might" be a dealbreaker for someone interested in them.

While you're not required to give your life history I think you need to be upfront with potential dates about common dealbreakers. Unfortunately physical disabilities are a dealbreaker for many of us but not all.

No, I don't think you're being a jerk for not taking her out again. If you liked her you could offer to be her friend. She probably already knows why you haven't called to take her out again.

Let me tell you something about wine that you don't know yet.

To find a truly great wine you have to taste a lot of crap first - bottles and bottles of it. Then you know the difference between great and mediocre.

Before you respond ladies, I wasn't referring to you...just the wine.

Fade,

I gotta disagree with you from my own experience.

I'm not going to take on the task of explaining what other men do but if I tell a woman I miss her I really miss her. I wish she was close, talking to me, doing something with me, laying in bed with me, and just being around.

If a woman told me she missed me I'd want to know why and how much? Most of them are too chicken to tell you that.

D

The view is a little different from my end of the playing field.

When it comes to divorced women with kids I'd prefer that either the kids are grown and gone or that they are at home only part of the time. Also, the kids don't have "issues" with mommy dating and having a man in her life.

Adolescent kids have wrecked countless blooming relationships before they went to the next level. While it's not impossible to have a relationship, the mother really needs to work out her kid's feelings on this before she gets started.

My heart goes out to single moms with kids at home wanting a relationship. I've known many who gave up and didn't date until their kids left home. The kids and the demands of parenting just made it too hard until then.

If I could have my heart's desire it would be C (divorced with no children) because that's what I am and I think we would relate well at least on that point.

Here's my rationale....

A) Never married with no children - I simply don't trust these women. They've never been able to commit to anyone besides themselves. They're married to their career or their lifestyle. There's something going on with them that that I really don't want to explore.
B) Never married with children - I have to wonder about these ones too. Why never married? Was the father only a sperm donor? What kind of a family is this? Lots and lots of questions and concerns.
C) My choice besides D. Women who divorced with no kids are rare but unlike A they were able to commit to a man for a period of time.
D) Divorced with children. This is the usual choice for me because divorced with no kids that match well with me are almost impossible to find. My only problem with these women is that they think since I never had kids that I don't know about them and assume (wrongly) I can't understand the parent/child relationship.

Divorced is my preference. I'm not sure about widowed. I never dated one. I'd be constantly concerned that I'm getting compared to the partner she misses. Separated - forget it!! I'm not diving into that cesspool.
D)

PLATOON - Platoon is a 1986 Vietnam war film written and directed by Oliver Stone and starring Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, Forest Whitaker, Kevin Dillon, Keith David, John C. McGinley, and Johnny Depp. It is the first of Stone's Vietnam War trilogy, followed by Born on the Fourth of July (1989) and Heaven & Earth (1993).

It was a cathartic experience watching it for me and a lot of other Vietnam Vets.

THEY were available....and YOU weren't!!

All Flirty Women Please Respond Immediately!! Flirts readily accepted night and day. I'll flirt with you all night long!

Women give us "second thoughts" all the time. We meet you online, exchange emails, may IM, talk on the phone, and then meet with you. Whether we see you again has a lot to do with how you respond to us. If your response is lacking we think you aren't that interested and we move onto the next one.

Would it be helpful to you to know all the reasons why we had "second thoughts" about you anymore than it would be useful for you to tell us all the reasons why you had second thoughts about us?

My old girlfriend wanted the love beads I wore in Vietnam. She still has them. I'd like them back but I won't ask for them.

I have a question for the ladies.

What is it that so many women find so sexy about spontaneity?

Spontaneous sex is one thing but this seems to go further. You want us to drop everything and do whatever you'd like to do.

To me that seems to be irrational and very inconsiderate but I remain open to some good arguments.

For example, I don't like it when you call at the last minute and want me to take you to major social function and my clothes for the event haven't event made to the dry cleaners. Is this the famous spontaneity all you women talk about?

More BS from women who don't know anything. Most women can't keep up with me.

Military life can be really hard on young marrieds. You don't get to develop your marriage relationship the same way most people do and that can lead to problems down the road.

Time and distance can erode trust in each other. She's young and healthy and so are you. You both have needs and desires that aren't getting filled. It's natural to think the other one might act on those needs and desires while they are away so long.

You need to do whatever you can to build and maintain trust. Telling her what you did with almost every hour of your day is one way of doing that. Writing her a lot of email is another way. Every time you think of something that involves her you should tell her about it.

Talking as much as you can on the phone is important because she can hear how much you miss her in your voice. Sending her little thoughtful cards and gifts is another way to touch her.

It takes a special person to be married to someone in the military who will be gone for long periods of time. It takes loads of trust and committment and a lot of people aren't up to it. I wish you well in keeping your marriage alive.

The guy liked you well enough to meet you. He liked you well enough to kiss you goodbye.

He found some things he liked about you but when he had more time to think about it he had his doubts about you. The reason doesn't matter.

It's unreasonable to think that he should tell you that you won't be seeing him again at the end of the date.

This works both ways. I've dated women and thought things went really well only to find out the next day that she didn't want to see me again. (note: this is why I would never take a woman to an expensive restaurant for a first date). Those women never bothered to tell me at the end of the date I wouldn't be seeing them again.

Saying you were "played" is being immature. Get over it. It's the way things work in this world honey. I didn't make the rules but those are the rules. Move onto the next guy and see if things click better for you.

Why would I not tell her? If I like her I'll let her know...usually with something I write to her.

Not telling her that you like her seems to be sorta retarded to me. What have you got to lose by telling her that you like her? Your manhood?

I tried speed dating but would never do it again. How much can you really get to know about someone in 5 minutes or less?

The worst part was that all the women who were interested in me didn't interest me and the one or two that interested me didn't want contact!! LOL

Go figure!!

You can call it a game or a courting ritual or something else.

You're only describing one part of chemistry. Physical sexual attraction is one part of it but it's only one part of it.

Real chemistry is based on connections. You find things in common, you're compatible, you think they're funny, you like their habits, you look forward to being with them, and a lot of other things....AND oh yes, you think they're sexy.

The higher the number of connections the higher the chemistry. When people say sparks flew when they met it was from all that electricity running through the power grid that was being connected. They found a multiple points where they could connect with each other.

That's why people who fall in love are practically inseparable....they are so well-connected to each other.

Some women in their 40s and 50s rock. I didn't mean to imply that this was the rule.

Unfortunately too many of them are too tired. That's been my experience with them. They're tired from their marriages, kids, jobs, careers, businesses, and everything else. They're jaded, faded, and about to turn to dust.

Mental agility counts with me. Summa cum laude here too.

If this is a relationship that may lead to marriage, then you need to be on the same page together when it comes to spending and saving habits.

Financial stress is one of the leading causes of breakups between a man and a woman. If you cannot accomodate each other on this point then you need to either change your habits or move onto another relationship because this one is eventually going to breakup.