The reasons why some men date older women are as varied as the women themselves. These women, because of their experience, often have more wisdom and self-assurance than younger women -- perhaps they may also possess more self-reliance and tolerance.
Some men receive mentoring from older women, who have had more relationship experience and often understand men well.
Clearer about who they are and what they want, "older women" may even have an advantage in the dating arena.
In some cases, having a relationship with an older woman may work for men who don't want children:
"My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years," says Rocco. "She was 53 and I was 41 when we met. We both shared many values, including our faith. Our children are grown up now, and mine love her. So, it's worked out very well. I tell men who have been divorced at least once to go for an older woman... If you find the right one, don't worry about age -- unless you still want more children."
A man who dates someone who has children his age will run into the occassional social opposition. But there are men (like Ben, 25, who is dating a 45-year-old woman) who can overcome resistance. Ben says:
"A woman can be 25 and marry a man of 45 or 55 and, hey, whatever. Traditionally, it's been ingrained in our psyches... that's the way it goes, but not the other way around. We've always known that age may be an issue. But now that we've been together for a while, I have a new perspective.
Not all men are comfortable dating older women. Some men, like Clyde, worry about the future. Clyde says:
"I dated a woman who is 15 years older. We dated for a bit and then settled into just enjoying each others company. She has a fit body and is an attractive woman. People said to me, why don't I commit to her if we enjoy each other's company? I told them I worried about how things would feel in 10 years when she's over 60 and I'm in my 40s... And then further down the years."
Through my experience as a therapist and marriage counselor, age difference isn't as important in a relationship as most people think. What counts is whether a couple can create a working partnership and build an enjoyable life together. So, for you men who've fallen head-over-heels in love with an older woman, I've developed nine tips on how to enjoy your newly found romance:
1. Be a gentleman. An older woman wants to be treated with respect, like any woman does. While she might attracted to your rebelliousness or youthful attitude, she still wants you to treat her with good manners.
2. Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't worry about the future until you actually might have one. Take your time and allow the relationship to develop.
3. Stay calm. You may be excited, but don't overdo it. Have fun and enjoy your dates, but don't come on too strong. She has some reservations, too.
4. Be charming. Don't underestimate how powerful your smile can be. Use it often, make eye contact, and keep the conversation flowing. Pay attention to what interests you about your date, and show interest in her opinions, experiences, and activities. Be complementary whenever possible, and respond intelligently to whatever she says.
5. Don't focus on looks.
Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it.
Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it. And even if you're complementary, she may worry that you're too focused on looks. She wants to be appreciated for who she is, including her intellect and style. Compliments like "That color is lovely on you," or "You look great tonight" are safer than "You're in great shape."
6. Have fun. Keep your dates simple and have a good time. Focus on being pleasant, and not getting too far ahead of the relationship. Refrain from talking too long about any one subject without inviting a comment from your date.
7. Keep conversation interesting and light. Feel free to talk about anything, including your personal lives, past relationships, and love in general, but don't be the one who brings up the intimate topics first. Be wary of prying too deeply into her private life and secrets, unless the information is voluntarily offered.
8. Avoid talking too much about yourself. Keep your focus on learning about your date. Dole out the boring information about yourself. Punctuate your conversation with questions: "What do you think?" "Has it been that way for you?"
9. Pay attention! Listen to answers to your questions. You have things to learn here! Seek to get to know each other better. No matter how thrilled you may be about her, listening to what she says, watching what she does, and understanding how she feels are the most important things you can do.

I still think younger guys look for older women cause they still need their Mommy

And here's the best room in the house for finding older women ..

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/146185

DEMI/ASHTON SUCCESS STORIES ...

oh ya babyyyyyyyyyyy

A few maybe but that's a pretty outdated view now, younger guys dating older women has become a HUGE trend .. but honestly sweets I've been dating younger guys for 5 years and it's everything it's cracked up to be


I wouldn't date my age or older ever again .. just not who works for me

I agree, and if a man needs mentoring instead of having the willingness to learn things on his own and dicover woman the way we should be discoverd than I don't want anything to do with him anyways.

My last two relationships were with younger guys both lasted 2+ years. Both wanted to make the arrangement permanent. For misc. reasons they ended up not working out by my choice. But I think it is all about who you are comfortable with not thier age. Would I date a younger guy again? Sure thing if I had things in common with them and if they had more on thier minds than just getting laid....But having said that I have to add a disclaimer I won't date anyone any age that's just looking for sex.....

good point Megan....i prefer to date older...i'm an in betweener....so don't need the mentoring....but do enjoy the maturity of a woman whose been around & knows the important things in life....

And you can find me most of the time on Fade's thread that she posted above...

I will date an older or a younger woman. Age is not what is important, rather it's the communication that counts.

I don't mentor ANY of the guys I date .. we just have a blast together.

Everyone has their own comfort zones for dating .. but I know where mine is now and I LOVE it.

I think the reason older women date younger men is because they find an older man too intimidating.

We're as smart and probably smarter than they are. We're more experienced and won't be lead around like a younger man would be.

I doubt that it has much to do with sexual endurance as some women claim. It has a lot more to do with who controls the relationship.

I'd prefer to date a woman who is younger or who at least acts younger than her years. I don't need to control her. I need her to be able to keep up with me and most of the gals my age just can't do that.

I agree Destiny. I get hit up all day long from younger guys just wanting sex. I'm not gonna be their "older woman experience"

But that's exactly why I started the DEMI/ASHTON thread .. for me it's all about what I have in common with guys. And men my age just don't cut it for me.

I still love to live on the edge, blast my music and race my car .. shut down a BMW last night LOL

I LOVE the younger mindset .. works for me Actually sex doesn't have a whole lot to do with my preferring younger .

I agree .. what I'm sayin is I don't COMMUNICATE well with guys my age.

I think a generation behind myself .. no idea why but I am happy with it.

Younger usually works better for me as well because of the things I enjoy doing in my spare time. I am very active both in my profession and in my activities. I like to get out and do not sit around and think about it. And the extreme sports I participate in are a draw to the younger crowd as well. As for communication I communicate well with anyone because I call it as I see it with everyone...

Nope. I'm never intimidated by a guy. Ever. And I graduated college Summa Cum Laude. So ya .. whatever LOL

I just think guys my age are stuck in the mud. Sorry. Just my mindset I guess And many look old enough to be my father .. not happening any time soon ..

And please .. keeping up? Guess you don't realize women in their 40'-50's are in their prime sexually. We ROCK.

But to each his own dude.

Oh ya .. and my kids want to put on my headstone someday ..

"She never grew up"


I'm hopin I keep livin up to that


Last night a BMW kept challenging me to race him but my son said he'd tell on me if I did ..

no fun ..

Some women in their 40s and 50s rock. I didn't mean to imply that this was the rule.

Unfortunately too many of them are too tired. That's been my experience with them. They're tired from their marriages, kids, jobs, careers, businesses, and everything else. They're jaded, faded, and about to turn to dust.

Mental agility counts with me. Summa cum laude here too.

My ex's minivan would still take your Rx-8 anyday.

and older men aren't? uhhhh right

All my friends are in their 30's and 40's. Not just my BF's. So ya it all depends on what you got goin on I guess.

Anyway it's good to agree to disagree eh?

Keeps it interesting ..

I also graduated summa cum laude with double degrees in business and psychology (in 3 years no less) I have an I.Q. of 189 and have been a mensa member since the age of 13. And anytime you want to try and keep up with me physically come join me for some cliff diving or indoor tower air boarding and freefall practice. Then you can talk to me about keeping up mentally or physically.

Well I have an IQ of 69 & find it works both ways

I have a degree in Window Washing & Toilet Training....

graduated Cumma Sutra Mantra....

been known to jump off High Chairs....And climb tall blondes....

so don't mess with me....