What do women want? I thought I knew, when the other night, my wife 'demanded' that I take her someplace expensive. I took her to a gas station....and that's when the fight started.
I was sure that I knew, the other night, when we were watching "Who wants to be a Millionaire" while in bed. I turned to her and said in a sexy voice, "Do you want to fool around?" "No," she said. I then asked her, "is that your final answer?". She didn't even look at me and simply said, "Yes". So I said, ...then, I'd like to phone a friend"....and that's when the fight started. I give up.

Viagra...the quicker, picker upper. Or the new generic name for Viagra......Mycoxafloppin.

Age? It's just a number. It's all in your mind and my mind is as sharp as a steel trap. Knock on wood. Oh...wait...someone knocking at the door. BRB

Out of my mind. Back in 10 minutes.

Do I talk to dead people? Yes. When I was married and wanted sex from my now, Ex-wife. She plays a mean corpse especially when I want to do it 'doogie style'. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays 'dead'.

The other night, the girlfriend and I are watching'Who wants to be a Millionaire' and I asked her if she would like to fool around and have a little sex. She said 'No', almost immediately. I said, 'Is that your final answer'? Without turning to look at me, she said 'Yes'. So I asked her, 'Can I phone a friend?' And that's when the fight started. She was still mad from yesterday, when we went to the grocery store. I went looking for her down each aisle calling, "Crisco. Oh Crisco." One of the employees heard me and was directing me to aisle # 5, where all the cooking oils were. I said no thanks and that I was just looking for my girlfriend. He asked why I call her 'Crisco'. I told him that I always call her that, in public. He asked what I call her in private, at home. I said, "Lard ***", just as my girlfriend walked around the corner and heard me.

Answers? You want answers? ....You can't handle the answers, ahh...ummm..wasn't that suppose to be...'can't handle the truth'? Ooops. Sorry about that. Never mind.

Ladys first

And a wonderful Hello, to you, as well.

I'm in my own little world....and everyone knows me. Lonely? Not me.

I'd say....It's time for a drink.

Leave a message at the beep...and I'll get back to you a soon as possible.

CHEERS.....BIG EARS.

What Basic training did 'you' go through?

DE OPPRESSO LIBER......liberate from oppression. That's been my Motto for decades.

Mr. Rogers.....Welcome to the neighborhood.

I'm here, Baby.

That's Great...and I was worried about paying next months phone bill.

We are...Brothers-in- Arms. Amen