The wife tells the husband there's a leak in the kitchen faucet and would he fix it.

He asked her if he had plumber stamped on his forehead.

A while later she said the front door doesn't shut well.

Same reply. "Does it look like I have carpenter stamped on my forehead?"

He took off to play golf. When he got back he realized the door shut right and when he went in to get a drink of water, the faucet wasn't leaking.

He asked the wife how she got them repaired.

She told him, a handyman came by and asked if she had any work he could do.

She asked if he could repair the door and faucet.

He said he could and would only charge her a nice dinner or sex.

The husband asked what she cooked for him.

She said, "Do I have Betty Crocker stamped across my forehead

A married couple of 50 years were sitting at the breakfast table, remembering how their love had blossomed over the years, especially when they first got married. Grandma says, " Remember when we had breakfast and we were both naked? It was was so romantic and my breast were hot with passion." Then Grandpa says, " Well, what do you say....shall we?" They both got naked and started kissing, when Grandma says, as she's catching her breath, " You know honey, my nipples are as hot for you, as they were 50 years ago." Grandpa replies, " I'm not surprised. One's in your coffee and the other one is in your oatmeal."