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NEVER have baked beans and sprouts on your menu on the SAME day.............
ESPECIALLY if you are in a relatively new relationship. The results during any physical activities over the following days and evenings may prove to be disasterous.     
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An elderly man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down, holding his penis. The nurse on duty says, " Mr. Johnson, why are you doing that?" The man replies, " It died today." "Oh, that's terrible", the nurse says and goes on her appointed rounds. The next day, the man has his penis hanging "outside" of his pants again and the same nurse spots him, once more and says, " Mr. Johnson, I thought it died yesterday?" Mr. Johnson says, "It did. Today is the viewing".
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